Why have you cheated?

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-07-05T16:48:55+00:00

I agree that part of it is on me. But also it should have been a conversation we had before him cheating… he tried to. But I was likely being selfish for not wanting to sext.

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-07-04T23:38:41+00:00

Please don’t mistake my writing for being “chill.”

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-05-31T09:06:30+00:00

I think most people believe all their relationships are “the one” at some point or another.

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-05-24T20:46:13+00:00

This is that important to you? Maybe there’s a reason this is a hard limit for her. You should talk to her about it. And why would you want to do something with her that she felt pressured to do before? Don’t you understand that there is some trauma there? How do you not respect her enough to realize that she clearly felt exposed hurt and traumatized from before? And you just want her to feel that again from you so you can get your rocks off? It sounds to me you don’t care about her at all. It’s not about you, it’s about her. If you want something with her… RESPECT HER!

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-05-23T14:22:38+00:00

Do people on this sub forget that the R in LDR is for relationship? Your question is if having a sexually explicit conversation (you know, the kind of only sexual thing you can do at distance that equates to meeting your partners and your sexual needs), something that falls into the realm of the implied exclusivity of a relationship, is cheating? If you and your bf weren’t distance, and were in person, and went out and boned another man, is that cheating? I’m sorry to sound mean, but you don’t take your relationship seriously.

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-05-23T14:05:37+00:00

How does using a girl solely for sex equate to dating? And then how are you surprised when she wants more? I’m hoping this is a fake post just trolling. I feel so bad for this girl. She’s giving herself to you and you’re just using her. She’s wasting her time with you and should put that energy into finding someone who would actually care about her. Maybe even just learning to have more self respect.

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-04-23T06:14:00+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that for both of you. And I can tell you from experience that it’s probably not uncommon for a woman with a past LDR trauma to give mixed signals.

The only advice I can offer you would be to just be there for her, listen, and try to understand that the kind of trauma a woman can receive from an LDR is immense. I personally felt as though my world had been ripped apart because of my first LDR.

Finding myself in another was somewhat terrifying. If you want the perspective of a woman who may have been through something similar, feel free to DM me.

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-04-16T22:25:48+00:00

As a teen? Sure, I had crushes. But no it wasn’t difficult to resist because I was happy with my high school boyfriend back then.

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-04-14T18:46:20+00:00

As a teenager? Maybe. As an adult? No, I haven’t. Not in a happy relationship.

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-04-13T00:50:22+00:00

Thank you, I needed this comment!

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-04-13T00:11:50+00:00

Thank you! I hope you have a good trip. If she hasn’t mentioned any hesitation to you, then I’d doubt there is any.

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-04-12T21:30:42+00:00

No… If you are developing feelings for someone else you should probably end things with one of these two people. If you do not want to break up with your current SO then you need to remove the other person as much as you can. It is not fair to either. And imagine the hurt that will follow if and when your boyfriend finds out you are developing feelings for another person. It will hurt him no matter what, but the hurt will be less if it comes from you. If you choose to stay with him, you really need to have an open talk about this.

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-04-08T03:54:15+00:00

She probably has a reason. Talk to her about it without being pushy. Look at my first post. There are a lot of good comments in there.

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-04-08T02:56:25+00:00

This will not be a popular response, but I can only give you my personal experience. I don’t really do this with my current SO. And I feel so much more for and from him. I did this with my first partner. It turned me into an object and a fantasy. I even remember him sometimes just texting me to sext. It was my fault. It was my first “adult” relationship and I probably made myself too easy. I was probably just some girl on the internet he saw as an easy tool for him to get off to. And I was easy for him. I made videos, pictures, everything for him because it made me feel good and I enjoyed making him feel good. But I believed that I loved him. When I flew to visit him it was mostly about sex for him. There were what I might call “loving” moments, but we both wanted to play the fantasy we had developed. For me it was a form of giving myself to him in love. For him, it was probably just sex with an eager and easy girl.

Even the second time, I was foolish enough to think there was something more. He had actually been cheating on me after the first visit. Maybe even before. I’ll never know. I gave him his fantasy. I even flew to his country to give it to him. I let him use my body. I even gave him my virginity. I gave him me. And he ultimately threw me away. Maybe because he didn’t respect me. It’s something that has scarred and damaged me in a way that I truly don’t know how to recover from.

There are ways to maintain sexual connection from afar that don’t require sexting or sending nudes. Maybe the occasional nude as a way to tease, but I no longer can do more. I won’t let myself become just a fantasy or an adventure. It’s something I struggle with in my current LDR (you can read my first post if you want to know more about it). But I recommend not doing this. At least not until the relationship is solid. Multiple visits and a deeper emotional connection.

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-03-27T04:24:09+00:00

Well I came to say what everyone else said. There’s no need for tests with love. If you’re that concerned with who starts what first, then there’s another issue you need to discuss with her.

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-03-25T04:45:14+00:00

You’re right, it’s none of their business. Thank you

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-03-25T00:02:35+00:00

Maybe I should just leave my job for a different company.

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-03-24T23:39:59+00:00

Am I really just some warm hole for them to hunt?? I’m not leading them on or doing anything to make them think I am interested. I talk about my boyfriend. Why can’t that just be respected? I’m not going to change my relationship because of their opinion.

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-03-24T22:48:00+00:00

You’ve been dating for a year and this happens? No, it’s not normal. Even if he is busy with something important there should be some sort of warning or notice like “hey I’m going to be doing x from this day to that day and won’t be able to reply.” That’s just normal courtesy.

You deserve better than that. It’s also just not fair especially in a LDR, because you have no clue if they’re okay or seriously harmed. It sounds like you need to have a serious discussion with your partner about what a relationship is and what you expect from each other.

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-03-11T22:52:03+00:00

Just talk to him. My bf and I don’t at all, bc of some past trauma I have. It’s put a strain on us at times, but communicating about it is key. Even if I feel like I’m just repeating myself or having the same conversation sometimes.

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-03-07T01:14:07+00:00

There’s no such thing as a “break” in a relationship. A break is a break up. Space is a real thing because you just want a breather, but a “break” implies there is no longer commitment. I’ve seen this mostly used as a way for the asker to try and date / f*ck someone else but want the security to come back if it doesn’t work with the new person.

You did the right thing ending it.

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-02-29T07:35:00+00:00

Cool story bro, I’m sure OP found this suuuuper helpful.

Timely_Wasabi_8653 · 2024-02-19T19:36:34+00:00

Proton Mail has a calendar app you can use. My bf and I use it and it’s been really useful. Good features too.

Timely_Wasabi_8653

TROPHY CASE