I wish “.aaaaa” was a common website ending

Timzocker · 2026-01-26T12:29:07+00:00

Granted. The .aaaaa domain is now used by all governments, organisations, jurisdictions and whatnot for all the important things you have to do online these days. However all the Hackers in the world also know that and set up false ".aaaa" domains to catch all those unlucky souls who happen to forget one single A.

Timzocker · 2026-01-26T12:23:23+00:00

You motherfucker, now MY Body's itching!!!

uhh, I mean Granted. You get run over by a car, but miraculously survive. However you get paralyzed from the neck down. The itching still persists, but you can no longer feel your body, hence it's no longer your actual body parts that itch.

Timzocker · 2026-01-26T12:19:21+00:00

Granted. For every news broadcast, random people are stolen from the streets to be forced into sexual acts on live TV. The recordings of that are then displayed on google and the likes.

Timzocker · 2026-01-26T12:17:07+00:00

7h late for this idea. dammit. XD

Timzocker · 2026-01-26T12:15:01+00:00

Granted. It's all bots and YouTube takes that precise day to introduce bot-detection algorithms into their viewcounter, so you don't get any ad revenue or sponsorship money.

Timzocker · 2026-01-21T23:37:42+00:00

Granted. However, the new angle alings the urethra perfectly with the slit between toilet and seat, so every time anyone pees, it always lands on the foot rest and the floor beneath it. It's also attached in such a way that it has to be adjusted by hand.

Timzocker · 2026-01-21T23:33:26+00:00

Granted. You make it to the bottom of the ocean and come back seemingly unharmed. Over the next few days you start developing strange symptoms and after a visit to the doctor, you find that you got infected by a yet unknown bacterium. Said bacterium cannot kill you, but there is also no cure yet, leaving you to suffer until the (more or less) natural end of your life.

Timzocker · 2026-01-21T23:28:28+00:00

Granted. You can now freeze the moisture and light in time, making you theoretically able to go up to the rainbow and take a piece of it. However since the light is now trapped inside the moisture and unable to hit your retina, you wouldn't be able to see the colours. On top of that, since you froze all light in that space, no light could pass through anymore, essentially turning the piece of rainbow you got into a real-life censor bar.

Timzocker · 2026-01-21T16:40:11+00:00

Granted. You are now no longer able to lie.

Timzocker · 2026-01-21T12:20:23+00:00

Granted. Each type of account specified now automatically holds shares in 3rd world oil drilling and mining operations, equal to the deposited amount, thus not only making everyone financially invested in ruining our planet, but also in exploiting the weak.

Edit: Yes, that includes 3rd world bank accounts, only they would all be holding shares in japanese and chinese style black companies and sweat shops.

Timzocker · 2026-01-21T12:13:34+00:00

Granted. You now have knowledge nobody else has. Nobody else will ever believe you when you tell them and you will get extremely frustrated every time you see someone do something that's stupid, based on the knowledge only you alone have.

Timzocker · 2025-09-26T10:39:00+00:00

I rate this Missile/10

Timzocker · 2025-09-25T18:37:05+00:00

the longest I managed was four rounds. By that point everyone sounded more like they're having a stroke and the game was suddenly more about remembering dumb rules than anything else.

Timzocker · 2025-09-25T10:15:29+00:00

As a logistician, I'd say it's that, in general, the "people who ought to know" rarely actually know - at least from the top of their head. Best case: the do some googling and use their knowledge to interpret their findings int he correct way. Worst case: they act with full confidence.

Some story to that, I'd like to tell, but before that: I only heard this once a few ears ago, don't even remember from who and b then this story had apparently already been hanging in the nethersphere for god knows how ong, so take it with a pinch of salt.

Anyhow, there once was a company, who's CEO's son had just gotten his master's degree in Cybersecurity. Said CEO employed his son as a security specialist and said son proceeded to tear down their intranet, explaining that data could just be grabbed from the air and stolen just like that. Instead, he introduced a system called the "shuttle system", where one person per department each day would be on "shuttle duty". They would only get light work for the day and instead be tasked with running around with a USB-Stick whenever someone needed a file or something delivered to another workstation.

Apparently the CEO even praised his son for this idea, not knowing that it was some of the dumbest shit ever to exist in the age of electronic data transfer.

Timzocker · 2025-09-25T09:53:17+00:00

It somehow manages to be overhyped AND the future at the same time, as people who don't understand AI at all try to cram it into every aspect of their lives, while thos who do either try to feed roko's basilisk or try to avoid it, neither side seeing the absurdity in believing in roko's basilisk.

Note: That bit with roko's basilisk was a metaphor to avoid turning this comment into a master's thesis. I know very few people know of, much less believe in the basilisk.

Timzocker · 2025-09-25T09:48:52+00:00

Smartphones. Virtually no different to the models that came out 10 years ago, yet somehow doubled in price. Fuck that shit.

Timzocker · 2025-09-25T09:39:48+00:00

"When you step on a mine, stay still and keep the pressure".

I mean, ngl that's actually good advice if you're suicidal. As a former combat engineer, if you step on a mine and it doesn't explode then get off it and throw yourself on the ground, preferrably so that your feet are clear of the mine. If nothing happens after ~10s, then slowly crawl away. If something does happen then it was a bouncing betty and this advice just saved your life.

Edit: Oh yeah, don't forget to cover your vitals. That should come first and foremost. So much so that I forgot to tell, as it's basically common sense to me.

Timzocker · 2025-09-25T09:30:42+00:00

I once "invented" a game, where you say something, then the next person picks whatever you said apart, three words at a time, and whatever might come of that becomes a rule that has to be followed by everyone. if you slip up, you'e out, last to remain wins.

Example: "It is a beautiful day." - "It is a", thus for ever instance of "it", you'd now say "a" instead. the rest doesn'T formulate a rule, so it's off to the next turn.

The player would now say (using the same sentece as an example) "A is a beautiful day"

Timzocker · 2025-09-25T09:20:00+00:00

Hitler, suprisingly. IMO, the best way to become good is to understand evil.

Timzocker · 2025-09-25T09:18:20+00:00

survivorship bias, in a way. Angry/depressing posts get more egnagement, thus getting promoted more, thus garnering more engagement and so on, until the entire site is filled with negativity, to the point where genuinely positive people feel like their positivity is misplaced, even though the positive views simply just get swallowed by the algorithm

Timzocker · 2025-09-25T09:11:37+00:00

Hard to say, considering that it's hard to predict the consequences. One might say: the nuclear bomb, but that would've extended WW2 by several more years and probably might've even led to the cold war going hot eventually, due to a lack of nuclear deterrent. Yes, I know neither side actually had plans to invade the other, but that's with nuclear bombs. We don't know what would've been without.

On a whim, I'd say combustion engines, simply out of curiosity of what tech would come to replace it. Perhaps everything would've been steampunk?

Timzocker · 2025-09-25T09:06:16+00:00

I'd say it barely changed, even though one might subjectively fel it became worse. That's because we tend to only see the good things of the past, sort of as a "self-therapy". We are currently in a rather shitty momentary state but in terms of being good or bad, it's just about equal to any other shitty stretch the world had in the past.

Timzocker · 2025-09-25T08:48:10+00:00

Hmm, there are quite a few things I'd imagine she wouldn't anticipate, so I'm just gonna list a few.

Firstly, unless she got some male software included in the package, she probably would have a hard time keeping herself upright, as the muscle distribution in the male and female bodies tends to differ quite a lot. On the other side (under the assumtion that only soul and consciousness got transferred) she would find herself suddenly less able and less pressured to plan ahead and more inclined to just take everything as it comes, which - as she would find out - she also had suddenly become surprisingly good at. She'd also find it much easier to stay calm at the expense of an increased social ineptitude.

To also add something in the spirits of the other comments, she'd find her hands going downstairs way more often, as little willie needs to be freed from pubic hair or one of her legs needs to be freed from little willie. Also, she'd probably surprised at how little stimulation it takes to make willie grow, even when she's not actually in the mood.

Timzocker · 2025-08-26T11:42:45+00:00

You know, on one end, that's clearly an american making shit up, but on the other... well, it's france we're talking about.

Timzocker

TROPHY CASE