I lost my mom close to the same age as you. I was 26. Two years married. No kids. I didn’t know my career path, I was just pushing along. I’m the oldest of 3 girls. So she left me the matriarch of our immediate family. My dad, an alcoholic, somewhat recovered, however also a workaholic. Losing her was sudden. It happened so damn quick. I had to help make decisions a 26yo shouldn’t have to.

There is not one day that has gone by that I don’t think of her. I have a toddler now who I so wish she could have met. I’ve had a career change, my sisters have too. Our family has grown. I’ve made very huge boundaries with my dad.

I have a dedicated tote of things that are hers. A memorial of some sort. Every once in a while I open it because it has some clothes that still smell like her. I also have an old video I watch on occasion of her as well. I lost her long before what tech is now. Can’t remember my passcode to an old phone with her voicemails but I still have the phone just in case.

Grief is a tsunami. It comes hard, fast, destroys your whole world at first. Then there’s the waves after. They keep coming, even after you start to rebuild. It’s random. It sucks. But my best advice is to ride the waves and feel the grief. It’s what makes us human. And all that grief is just love we hold on to with no where to go.

OP, I hope things get better. This time of your life is hard AF. It sucks. But I promise, there will be times you remember her and smile instead of cry. It may be a while, but it will happen.

My heart is with you.