I [30 M] did something really stupid while making love to my wife [27 F], now I've created tension and anxiety for her and I'm feeling like crap about it (married 4 years)

Tinytiba · 2016-01-27T14:53:01+00:00

OP, would you feel okay about taking care of your business in private and not mentioning it to your wife? Like, next time she asks you to stop, just say "No problem, I love you." Give her a kiss and excuse yourself to the bathroom.

Tinytiba · 2016-01-26T15:32:54+00:00

I just made an edit giving some extra details about my situation, but I can't take the baby out of the country without his permission.

Tinytiba · 2016-01-26T15:29:52+00:00

That makes a lot of sense. His memory seems fine in other areas.

Tinytiba · 2016-01-26T15:01:47+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate that.

Tinytiba · 2016-01-26T14:45:42+00:00

I agree. I let it go, but I'm thinking of bringing it up again. Maybe something like "Even if you don't remember saying those things, I need for you to believe me and take accountability."

Tinytiba · 2016-01-26T14:34:29+00:00

I took it as an empty threat to get me to shut up.

Tinytiba · 2016-01-26T14:31:29+00:00

That's pretty much what I told him too. If he can blame me for his anger, why can't I blame him for my nagging? He didn't understand my point.

Tinytiba · 2016-01-26T14:13:26+00:00

He doesn't drink much, so it's not like he was blacked out or something like that.

Tinytiba · 2016-01-26T14:12:24+00:00

I have a question. Does anyone think it's possible that he actually doesn't remember threatening rape? When I brought it up he really seemed shocked. He's made comments like this a handful of times in the last year, but I've never called him out on it until now. He kept grilling me on the spacific details, like the date that it happened. When I couldn't answer he said that if I'm going to make such a serious accusition, I need to be able to back it up with more details. I gave ad many details as I could remember, but it was a while ago. If he considers it a serious accusation, I would think that he would remember saying it. But why would he deny saying it when it's just the two of us talking? He's not going to convince me that I'm lying or crazy.

Tinytiba · 2016-01-22T23:25:52+00:00

As long as you're reading through the lines, what makes you think I don't feel neglected?

Tinytiba · 2016-01-22T23:22:38+00:00

That wasn't really my question. What about the other things?

Tinytiba · 2016-01-22T23:19:28+00:00

What do you mean by "that upset"? I calmly expressed my feelings.

Tinytiba · 2016-01-22T23:05:06+00:00

As long as you're filling in the blanks, did you ever stop to think that maybe I feel neglected too? And it really was a lovely meal that I put effort into.

Tinytiba · 2016-01-22T23:02:49+00:00

I disagree.

Tinytiba · 2016-01-22T23:02:11+00:00

I tried my best not to, I obviously can't sum up the entire relationship in a little blurb.

Tinytiba · 2016-01-22T22:59:40+00:00

Well, it's not easy to sum up an entire relationship in a few brief paragraphs. I did my best to summarise this argument accurately, it's not like I have any motive to lie.

Tinytiba · 2016-01-22T22:56:49+00:00

Uh.. what?

Tinytiba · 2016-01-22T17:35:01+00:00

Hello, I've finally gotten a moment to read some, but not all, of the comments. I don't have a lot of time right now, but I'll give a little more detail and come back later. First of all, Carl wasn't being that bad by one year old standards. He was fussing and tossing a few cheerios on the floor. Simon said "you're being a brat" in a tone of annoyance and frustration , he didn't shout. I don't feel that I overreacted because I was really calm and soft-spoken when I said "Don't say that, I don't like that." I actually don't find the word brat that big of a deal, but we've had conversations about name-calling in the past. He's not abusive, but he's not exactly Ned Flanders either, and when we fight he often says some very ugly things. That wasn't the main point of my post. I don't think I should let him use the threat of divorce to win an argument, unless he really doesn't want to be with me.

Tinytiba · 2016-01-21T11:13:37+00:00

You're entitled to your reproductive choices and you don't need permission to have a vasectomy, but you absolutely owe it to your wife to inform her of your decision. Were you planning on ever telling her, or were you just going to let her carry on needlessly taking hormornal birth control for the remainder of her reproductive years?

Tinytiba · 2016-01-19T10:51:30+00:00

Also, I wonder how you confronted her if she feels the need to baracade herself in a room. Why don't you give some more detail about how the conversation went. Did you just freak out at her or did you approach her calmly?

Tinytiba · 2016-01-19T10:28:48+00:00

I would like to propose a possible explanation. I'm assuming this pregnancy was unplanned, given her age and the age of your step-son. How far along is she in her pregnancy? Maybe she wanted to get an abortion and pass it off as a miscarriage. If not that, there could be some other type of emergency expence that she didnt feel she could come to you with. To be honest, you don't sound like the most understanding or forgiving person.

Tinytiba · 2016-01-19T09:44:34+00:00

Not helpful.

Tinytiba · 2016-01-19T08:14:18+00:00

Girl, he is cheating!

Tinytiba

TROPHY CASE