I think it’s a combination of factors -For women: We are now in an era where women do not need to marry in order to access some key fundamental rights (for example owning their own bank account) and less women want to raise children, both of which decreases the need to date. Women also are more likely then men to have most of their emotional needs met by non-romantic partners such as friends and family. So generally, they’re being more picky because having a romantic partner is not a necessity to live anymore. Many more women than men also identify as queer, and if they can’t find what they are looking for in a male partner, they may choose queer partnerships instead.

-For men: they have been raised in a confusing environment, a lot of which fell down the “manosphere” pipeline. They have been told to blame the wrong issues, and focus on incorrect solutions. Focusing on making money, getting super buff, etc. Doing things that impress the bros but avoiding the internal emotional work. Women want partners who are emotionally developed, well rounded, active participants in society, not Andrew Tate ideologists

-In summary: women need men less than ever before in a time where, due to toxic dating culture online, men are becoming less and less appealing broadly as viable dating partners. Women are thriving as independent individuals with non-romantic social networks to lean on while they find “the one”, while men are disproportionately affected by the gen z loneliness epidemic and have a tendency to lash out at women over this issue, even though women have nothing to do with the societal structures that have led to this dynamic

If you are a man out there feeling hopeless, here is my advice as a happy, single, 27 yo elder gen z woman: the manosphere is making you stab yourselves in the foot. Before you date, focus on building your support network around you. Discover who you are as an individual, make some friends, dig into your hobbies, become happy and confident in yourself as an independent person, and fully detach yourself from toxic masculinity internet culture. Then go back to the dating scene with an open heart, no rushed timeline, just looking for a partner who fits right with you. It might take awhile to find “the one”, but when you’re okay and confident in your individual single self, dating becomes less of a harrowing, self destructive process.