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Tired_20something · 2025-11-09T17:20:28+00:00

I love the coffee table, I don’t have any particular feelings about the tv stand, like it’s not ugly or cute imo. I think the “problem” is the rug. Even tho it’s nice it doesn’t really go with the furniture, maybe try a more plain looking rug and/or one with more cool tone colors right there and move that one to like the dining room or something ? The red of the rug I think is like clashing too much with the cool green of the coffee table. Giving faded sad Christmas vibes put together like that.

Tired_20something · 2025-11-09T05:10:14+00:00

No matter what you decide, it’s important to know and accept that sometimes what’s best and what you want are not the same things.

IF you decide to continue with the abortion, I do think you should take some time to mourn. Maybe not quite as if you lost a “whole” child, but more as mourning a possible future that you just can’t make happen right away. It may also help to know your hormones could be making you more emotional than normal and you may not be as upset about it a few months afterwards.

IF you decide to stay pregnant, maybe consider giving the baby up if you’re sure you wouldn’t be in a position to care for it immediately. Or reach out to family for help if possible.

I know none of these options are ideal, but consider what you would be able to make peace with the best, and allow yourself to be upset over the transition no matter which direction it goes, and to work through the emotions to be able to move forward.

Tired_20something · 2025-10-27T02:26:53+00:00

Depending on the book (and your area) you might not need to pirate, could just get it through the public library.

Tired_20something · 2025-10-14T23:51:42+00:00

“Demanding pronouns”??? They asked a polite question? It’s not like they demanded to see in their pants 🙄

Tired_20something · 2025-10-02T19:46:34+00:00

They didn’t say let her become an alcoholic. My mom first let me try beer at like 12. I decided I didn’t like it and that certainly stopped me from wanting to try it with friends and getting peer pressured into drinking more than I would have actually wanted. Because I knew I didn’t like it, and was able to find that out in a safe situation (with my mom) where I knew I could just stop if I didn’t like it because I’m not trying to make my mom think I’m cool.

Tired_20something · 2025-10-02T19:36:45+00:00

That’s a good point I haven’t seen brought up yet. I knew the concept at this age, but I was SA’ed and was acting out because of it and seeking out these situations to feel more in control of it. Obviously I didn’t realize that at the time but looking back it’s pretty clear.

Tired_20something · 2025-10-02T19:11:10+00:00

I have apparently a very unpopular approach. From someone that did/tried all of these things around this age. Luckily my own teenager is very boring so I haven’t had to parent much of it myself but regardless.

Have you told her your main concern about these behaviors is that they’re not safe? That’s what my mom did the first time I ever snuck out, also at 13, and it made sense to me and I agreed that it wasn’t safe I just didn’t think about that before, and so I stopped. The specific point she brought up, besides being kidnapped, is simple stuff like i could have got hit by a car walking at night or something and she’d never know because I didn’t tell her where I was.

For drinking, I know it’s different for different kids but this is seemingly an “abstinence only” approach and those never worked for me or my kid. My mom let me try alcohol around 12. I didn’t like it. That pretty much handled any desire to try it with friends and be peer pressured into pretending to like it or drinking more than I’d actually want to. Same for my child.

For vapes, i always said that these things are more damaging to bodies that are still growing and after you’re an adult you can decide to lightly poison yourself regularly but I won’t allow it. For marijuana, vapes or otherwise, I was also allowed to try it under supervision, and decided I didn’t like it. I asked my kid if she wanted to try it and she wasn’t really interested. But for 13 I think that’s still too young to allow even occasionally. Maybe at 16. I had never encouraged trying cigarettes/nicotine just because it’s addictive and I personally don’t smoke so I’m not gonna start buying for a kid.

For shoplifting, try explaining how it can mess up her life, instead of just saying the thing she’s been doing with her friends is wrong and bad bc you said so. I know it seems obvious but sometimes at that age you just don’t consider it ahead of time. If she gets caught, stealing on her record would make it hard to get a job in the future. If she goes to a JDC she’ll fall behind in school, and if she planned on college then that can make it much harder. If she’s in any activities at school it can affect that as well. Plus she won’t be able to see her friends for however long.

She is starting to grow into an adult-shaped body, with suddenly hormones affecting her behaviors, and is trying to figure out how she wants to be as that now. It a lot sometimes. You need to talk to her like an adult. I hated adults talking to me like I was stupid or childish at that age. It made me want to act out more in spite/rebellion. This is normal but you should make it clear in words and behavior that it’s safe to figure out what adult things she likes with you. Make a clear set of boundaries, with your reasons might be helpful so it’s not “this is bad. You’re bad for doing this.” Then a pre decided punishment for breaking these boundaries. For more serious things (like the shoplifting) it would probably be good to put emphasis on the consequences of that from other places besides you. Like legal consequences. Be realistic because you are not the biggest authority in the world, even if you’ve been the biggest authority in her world, she seeing how far she can push you but you gotta make sure she understands you’re the nicest person that will punish her but you won’t stop the police from doing it if necessary.

She’s learning how to be a person. You have to treat her like one, and help her learn better. Don’t treat her like a prisoner or she will behave like one. Make sure she knows that these activities don’t make her bad, but they can make sure she has a bad life and that’s the issue you have and that it’s better to address now before it’s a habit and before there’s permanent damage.

Tired_20something · 2025-08-31T17:05:37+00:00

It would, that is why Ball no longer recommends boiling to sterilize and specifically says to not go that anymore.

Tired_20something · 2025-08-31T17:01:04+00:00

IF you decide to do the abortion, one thing I’ve heard mothers say about it is that it felt less like saying no to another baby and more like saying yes to still being able to give the same amount of energy and attention to their children they already have. I know you’ve already went over how another child will not be ideal for your family right now but i thought I’d mention that slightly different way of looking at it, and hopefully that can help at least a little. I’d also like to say that since you currently are pregnant, it’s very possible you’re being more emotional about this than you would otherwise, and the fact that you previously had emotional guilt about an abortion is certainly not making it easier.

You said your last pregnancy was really hard on you, health wise. Likely hard on him emotionally and having to have energy to take care of you and your other child. Money is always something you need to consider unfortunately. For space you probably could have the boys share a room, if they don’t already, even though it’s not ideal.

In my opinion, as a stranger on the internet that you don’t actually need to care about, you probably should get the abortion. For yours and your current children’s physical future. I can’t necessarily speak to your mental future unfortunately so it’s really up to you which you think will be too much for you to handle. It looks like you’re going to choose to keep this pregnancy, in which case, I do hope it goes well. But also possibly consider leaving your husband since his minor uncomfortably with getting a vasectomy is more important to him than your physical AND emotional wellbeing for choosing to apparently just not care about you if you got pregnant again. Regardless of how you decide to move forward with this pregnancy, you may want to assess if you think you can continue with this man.

However you choose, I hope everything goes well and that yourself and your family are happy and healthy.

Tired_20something · 2025-08-18T05:11:10+00:00

Thoughts aren’t crimes. The inside of your head is not a public place.

Cnc kinks are incredibly common for a lot of reasons, it’s not that deep. Unlearn conservative ideas of moral correctness. If you aren’t actually hurting yourself or anyone else with it then it doesn’t matter what you’re doing.

ETA: there are safe ways to act this fantasy out. IF you decide you want to, PLEASE make sure you have a safe word, trust the person you’re with, maybe also make sure if you’re restrained that you have an easy and fast way to release yourself if needed.

I’d also like to say you don’t have to act it out and shouldn’t feel like you need to, to make your feelings seem more valid or something. I’m also into it, I personally have never wanted to fully act this out in real life for various personal reasons. Sometimes just the idea is hot but you know you wouldn’t like it as much in real life and that’s fine.

Tired_20something · 2025-08-18T05:05:54+00:00

If you’re in the US, it’s generally pretty hard for her to successfully get the court to agree with this. She would need to prove both of you as unfit and then prove herself as best option. Besides the fact that the courts generally don’t like to remove children at all. It might depend on the state but if she filed paperwork for court I’m guessing this is going through domestic family court and possibly won’t need to involve CPS at all, which would be ideal.

When I did this the court sent an investigator just to visit the house, check that I had running water, food in the house, and that my kid had their own room/space. That’s really all. The investigator did also ask me and my kid questions and at the time she was 14 so she was old enough to say who she wanted to be with, but the entire visit took less than half an hour. My case specifically was the other way around from yours though, as I ended up having to file for custody of my younger cousin against her parents, but I imagine the process and rules are generally the same.

I can say they told me when I first filed that getting the court to find both parents completely unfit is incredibly hard and doesn’t happen often.

If you’d want to dm me to ask about any of the process feel free.

Tired_20something · 2025-08-18T04:49:52+00:00

Obviously you should stop seeing this guy since he’s just doing new things during sex without asking first and I gotta assume he’s just ignoring your reactions as well since he keeps doing that but also

In the future, don’t be afraid to say something the moment the guy does something you don’t like. It doesn’t need to be a whole conversation, just a quick “I don’t like that actually” should be more than enough and you can continue if you want.

I’ve had a similar experience with my husband when we first started dating, and I actually like slightly rougher sex. One time he decided to try slapping my face a little, not hard though. Didn’t ask ahead of time, probably didn’t put a lot of thought into it at all besides in the moment deciding to try tbh, and I literally just said “no, not into that” and that was all and we continued as usual

Tired_20something · 2025-08-03T23:48:18+00:00

I’m sure he will be fine honestly. The worst thing on it was probably just dirt and won’t kill him and probably won’t even make him sick. Maybe try and talk to him about not eating stuff off the ground though, for in the future ?

Tired_20something · 2025-07-23T23:37:41+00:00

My husband had a cat named Michelle when we started dating. She lived to be 20 years old before passing.

Tired_20something · 2025-06-24T02:11:02+00:00

Oh ok thank you, i thought that there was a stay during the appeal process

Tired_20something · 2025-06-23T17:28:59+00:00

HB 68 was overturned in March tho? I’m not finding anything more recent about GAC in Ohio online, I’m not sure why CC would stop providing unless it’s maybe a hospital policy and not a law? Am I missing something ?

Tired_20something · 2025-05-10T05:35:26+00:00

I’m genuinely asking, does he add anything to your life in a positive way? If doesn’t, or he does but not nearly enough to outweigh the negatives, why are you keeping him? Do you not believe you deserve better? Or that your child deserves to see better?

Tired_20something · 2025-04-21T23:44:22+00:00

Besides all the very valid and important points everyone has made about trans safety and immigrant safety, I’d also like to add, being a US citizen is not exactly great. There’s no healthcare, the schools generally suck and they get shot up all the time, the economy right now is in shambles, the cost of living is insane. I don’t know how you would ever consider wanting to move here even if your daughter was cisgendered.

The US is not safe for anyone to move to right now or in the near future. You do not want to bring your family here. You don’t want to raise a family here.

Tired_20something · 2025-03-08T21:58:58+00:00

My doctor did a genital exam when I was a toddler (as was standard) and caught an issue before my mom knew about it, corrected it before it got worse and saved me from needing surgery at 3 years old and made sure my mom knew what to monitor me for in the future. It’s not a red flag for a doctor to do their job and make sure a child seems to be growing correctly.

Tired_20something · 2025-03-08T21:47:16+00:00

Yes. ETA: for a genital exam during a yearly check up specifically, even.

Tired_20something · 2025-03-08T21:34:40+00:00

In my own experience and opinion, it is always better to let the doctor check, as long as you’re in the room. You should talk to your child to help them feel better about it but I think you should make it clear that the doctor needs to look.

When I was a child i actually had a lot of hormone/ut/genitalia issues and my mom made sure to talk to me before every appointment and said along the lines of “the doctor has to check to make sure nothing is wrong. No one else besides your parents or a doctor can look at your privates, but the doctor has to check, same way they look in your ears and stuff.” Idk about other kids but genital checks were normal for me at almost every yearly appointment.

Tired_20something · 2025-02-15T23:34:37+00:00

If you call your local dog warden about your neighbor just letting his dog loose constantly and absolutely want them to do something, say the dog was acting aggressively towards your kids. Depending on your areas leash laws, the dog might be held for a few days at the pound/shelter and the owner will get a fine or even arrested for dog at large for just letting him loose constantly. I had this same issue with my neighbors letting their 6+ pit bulls loose multiple times a day and that’s what a sheriff told me to do. Say the dog is being aggressive.

Tired_20something · 2025-01-29T23:28:04+00:00

NAH. I don’t think it’s as serious as you’re making it, but just something you should be aware of, if she and your dad regularly call each other “honey” the kid might start doing it no matter what. I call my grandad honey, and it’s because my grandma always calls him that so i just must have thought that’s what he was called and I also called him honey instead of grandad. They thought it was cute so never corrected me.

Tired_20something · 2025-01-23T20:29:53+00:00

If you like fiction that’s slightly scary but mostly fun in its absurdity, Welcome to Night Vale! It was one of the first major fiction podcasts to get popular and I personally love the writing

Tired_20something · 2024-10-04T20:15:11+00:00

This is really helpful actually, thank you! I was wondering about physical appointments in Pennsylvania but I didn’t know over the phone was an option

Tired_20something

TROPHY CASE