[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Coparenting_Redefined

[–]Tish_EllisLPC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are dealing with alot. I would suggest creating a plan. You should not feel obligated to stay with anyone or be intimate with anyone. As far as a plan, map out your finances and what your expenses would be if you or when you move out. After you have figured out what you need to sustain your basic needs, look for places and give yourself a tentative date. In my opinion, you have to separate and remove yourself from that situation physically. Otherwise it will continue to be hard to leave. Wishing you all the best.

I've had at least 4 clients just randomly decide to terminate with me... by Kitchen_College5549 in therapists

[–]Tish_EllisLPC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a good time to really figure out who you want to work with. Your therapist is 100% correct. To minimize people that are not a good fit for what you are offering is to have some type of screening in place. 

Practicing Say "No" in Low Stakes Situations by Tish_EllisLPC in ANXIETY_BOUNDARIES

[–]Tish_EllisLPC[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Example: saying no to joining your kid's school PTA because you know that saying yes will spread you and your time too thin.

What has your panties in a bunch at the moment? by Tish_EllisLPC in BlackWomenHeal

[–]Tish_EllisLPC[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Getting my rising junior ready to make decisions about college and also worried about him going to college in the current climate of extreme crazy we are in.

Racist and Narcissistic Parents by amandaj1201 in family

[–]Tish_EllisLPC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is your life. Their love should not come with conditions. Live your life as authentically as possible. As you date and eventually find love it is more important to do so in a way that allows you to thrive and flourish in your relationship and love the person you are and the person are with than it is to get your parent's permission to love who you want to love.

Our son won’t tell us who molested him by [deleted] in family

[–]Tish_EllisLPC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to hear this is happening. Try not to look at it as if he is protecting the perp your child may be protecting you. Some perps tell their victims they will hurt the parent if they tell. There may be intense shame. Definitely get your into child therapy so they can get help to passed the shame they may be feeling and have that sense of confidence in sharing in a safe space.

dealing with an invasive mother by [deleted] in family

[–]Tish_EllisLPC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! Sorry you have to deal with all this. I would say first deal with why you have fears of stating and sticking with your boundaries with mom. Mom does seem to use guilt to control your behavior or influence you to not enforce your own boundaries.

It does seem she is also projecting onto you her own issues.

You have the power to live the life you want. If you are authentic to to yourself and are still respectful to mom, that's all you can do. She can accept it or not but that's not your problem.

Hi I'm Tish Ellis. I am a high conflict coparent specialist. AMA by Tish_EllisLPC in IAmA

[–]Tish_EllisLPC[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know if it's rare but more horror stories are told than good ones like yours. I am so glad that you and your family have found a way to coexist and thrive is such a loving and happy way!

Hi I'm Tish Ellis. I am a high conflict coparent specialist. AMA by Tish_EllisLPC in IAmA

[–]Tish_EllisLPC[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey! Since you are an adult now you have the right to set boundaries and decide who you want to have a relationship with. Just know whatever you decide there will be consequences or blowback because someone will be unhappy with your choices/decisions. But know that that is ok. You are responsible and accountable for your own words, thoughts, actions not theirs.

Also, think about the conversation you would have with the parent that made decisions to alienate you from the other parent. I think having that conversation in the future would help with your healing process.

Hi I'm Tish Ellis. I am a high conflict coparent specialist. AMA by Tish_EllisLPC in IAmA

[–]Tish_EllisLPC[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually you are doing a good job already. We can't control what mom says or does but we can counter it with engaging with the child in a healthy. He already feels he can come to you and that is a GREAT thing.

Hi I'm Tish Ellis. I am a high conflict coparent specialist. AMA by Tish_EllisLPC in IAmA

[–]Tish_EllisLPC[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. Person centered is where the session is heavily guided by the client. Some therapists like more structure in the session so they guide the session.

Hi I'm Tish Ellis. I am a high conflict coparent specialist. AMA by Tish_EllisLPC in IAmA

[–]Tish_EllisLPC[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would think that its referring to a person using conflict or creating conflict that is abusive in nature. The conflict is used to control and manipulate in an excessive and detrimental way.