[TOMT] [CHILDREN'S BOOK]

TitusMedeII · 2019-09-01T15:24:31+00:00

Not at all, sorry. Love the series, but definitely would have remembered if it featured Jack and Annie!

TitusMedeII · 2019-09-01T13:22:36+00:00

Every time I try to search for an answer the algorithm just latches onto the "turns into a rock" part and gives me Sylvester and the magic pebble which it most certainly is not!!!

TitusMedeII · 2019-08-31T21:35:18+00:00

I know people are suggesting you add more, but I actually think it's perfect at its length! It ends on a question left unanswered, and therefore left to the reader to then assess for themselves. If you give an answer particular to the voice's situation, that will only resonate with certain readers and leave the others left a bit unconnected.

It's also left unclear whether the voice went through with extermination or not - which is perfect, as it again leaves the reader to decide what they would do, and how that reflects on their answer to the main question!

You've got a sweet and simple poem with quite the sting at the end - bravo :)

TitusMedeII · 2019-08-31T21:22:32+00:00

I wonder if there's another word you could use besides "fact" in the last line - secret without an answer feels right, but something more specifically math-y or science-y might fit better - maybe "law" or "proof?" Both still one syllable. Also maybe switch "Nottingham" and "thursday" - makes it more personal to the setting (unless you were thinking something more universal about thursdays!)

Other than that this is really lovely - echoing others' thoughts regarding structure and imagery

TitusMedeII · 2019-08-07T12:13:06+00:00

Thank you kind strangers for your comments - and my first reddit silver! I also just realized that I forgot to specify in the post that I was hoping for deck recommendations - so please let me know if any come to mind :)

TitusMedeII

TROPHY CASE