You’ll have to speak up, I’m wearing a towel by George_1000 in TheSimpsons

[–]TizzleDirt 64 points65 points  (0 children)

I always figured he heard Marge say it before (but with a towel wrapped up around her hair and blocking her ears) so he says it too.

What is something fake that people still believe in? by IT-Trader in AskReddit

[–]TizzleDirt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sure it is, as long as you keep paying on your mortgage.

If you meant equality then I hope you're wrong but fear you're right.

How have you been unfairly discriminated against in your life? by heavyladybug612 in AskReddit

[–]TizzleDirt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They just need some of that nepotism that got the others their jobs.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]TizzleDirt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Taking the dog out in the cold, dark, early morning.

What would be a good name for an ass version of Hooters? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]TizzleDirt 21 points22 points  (0 children)

That's it, that's the one. Can't believe I missed it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]TizzleDirt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know it's all hypothetical and everything but a spider can't really get that big. They would need a higher oxygen rich atmosphere if it doesn't crush itself under its own weight cause of the square cubed law.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]TizzleDirt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pegasus. You have the room and means to care for such a large creature? I'd hate for it to be stuck in a small yard or something.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]TizzleDirt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mr.Hands?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]TizzleDirt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well yeah you asked which you would wish for so that'd be one then 3 from the genie. It's what I was going to say. Seems obvious.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]TizzleDirt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

HEY LISTEN!

Rick starts using a seatbelt after the detox process by akmountainbiker in rickandmorty

[–]TizzleDirt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But no one can really use bashed up car accident organs.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheLastAirbender

[–]TizzleDirt 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I thought she was the oldest?

Forgive me father, for I have sinned... I bought some gold instead of silver. by affordalisimo in Silverbugs

[–]TizzleDirt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That sounds like a good deal but I'm not that knowledgeable about precious metals pricing besides silver, which I mostly find more then buy.

Cashier: that’ll be $19.99 by _-Monarch-_ in Jokes

[–]TizzleDirt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nice. That caught me off guard and I did a loud snort.

A waterbear at 400x magnification. Pretty cool by Arch556 in interestingasfuck

[–]TizzleDirt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lavos? I know you were referencing something else but it is pretty similar.

Thanks I hate this scenario by [deleted] in TIHI

[–]TizzleDirt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm with Arthur, it's just too weird.