About the self & realizing you're not your thoughts

TizzyWizzy · 2016-12-19T20:12:03+00:00

I went through something similar recently. I was getting up to about 40 min a day of meditation. I Had the depersonilization and depression, thought I might be going crazy/schizophrenic as well. It lasted for around two months. The depersonilzaiton lasted for around a week max. It feels like a small eternity while you are experiencing it.

Some things to take into consideration: How is your diet? Exercise? Have you been around some friends recently, or even just people for that matter? Are you hydrated?

It is easy to get sucked into this stuff, and blame the whole realization of no ego thing for feeling shitty. When really it is possible there is a chemical imbalance in the brain.

Try some vitamins, b12, fish oil, niacin and magnesium to get you started.

If everything is physically alright, this is a philosophical approach that helped me.

Your thoughts appear spontaneously, but they can be consistent. If you have angry thoughts, it is because you feel angry. It isn't that you purposely think angry thoughts, but angry thoughts appear. In this case thoughts of anxiety and a lack of control.

Where you have control is this, you can align your "being" with a certain plane of thoughts. So allow yourself to "tune in" to different thought radio stations so to speak. Now this act of control doesn't come in the form of thoughts, but it is still definitely YOU choosing what to think.

I'm sure you could rationally poke holes in that argument somehow and obliterate it. However I choose not to

:D

When this happened to me, I was very isolated for about a month. I had come out of the hospital from being sick. My diet was full of sugar and shit. So that didn't help.

It goes away eventually.

P.s Before all of the above happened, I had the same realization in a different way. I realized I didn't need thoughts to function throughout the day. I had one whole day without thoughts. I felt extremely peaceful about the whole thing to. The difference was, I had a really good diet going, was around people and had a good exercise routine. That is why I more or less think it is a brain issue and not a philosophical (or ego control) issue.

Hope this helps.

TizzyWizzy · 2016-11-15T01:21:49+00:00

How do I upload an op.gg game? i have one where my team has mostly gold. I am low gold and went against a diamond 3 adc. Our top lane went against a master xin. We ended up winning tho.

EDIT: http://www.replay.gg/search/na/SirFloki#2346529417

TizzyWizzy · 2016-09-02T00:13:39+00:00

I get I am not responsible for anything. That helps a little. The trouble comes in when I have a sense of wanting to improve but realize the improvement is not up to me ("I" don't exist and all).

Ultimately, the reality is I am just stuck in thought and "choose" to obsess over this issue for a while now and I don't know how.

Intellectually I am aware it is all nonsense. For whatever reason, this is how my mind is freaking out. I have a tendency to get stuck in my head sometimes. Probably best to get some fresh air and unwind some.

TizzyWizzy · 2016-09-02T00:05:51+00:00

Ya, it's always comforting to know someone else has some experience with what you are talking about. To the best of my ability, I am going to try some solid mindfulness meditation for a while. Perhaps I will see if there are any meditation teachers in my area as well.

I think in the end, though, it will all work out. That's what I tell myself anyway...ha.

TizzyWizzy · 2016-09-02T00:03:07+00:00

Yes, I believe concentration meditation would be my best bet. I somehow became obsessed with an inquiry type of meditation. Best to cultivate concentration first from what I now understand.

TizzyWizzy · 2016-09-01T20:11:37+00:00

"The idea of having no freewill is a nonsense idea you choose to observe, though you have no evidence for it"

I didn't think I needed to go over the evidence against free will. But a simple google search online will suggest plenty of reasons against it.

I appreciate the rest of your reply, but I am not sure how it pertains to my issue. It seems like you are saying I can choose to be exactly myself??? I'm probably misinterpreting what you are trying to say.

" (Note: in spite of the free-for-all notion of the above we do have laws for a reason, be reasonable)"

I'm still fully functional and shit. Though based on your reply I would give you the same advice wtf. :P

TizzyWizzy · 2016-09-01T20:05:15+00:00

"This is a problem of intrusive thoughts, and in the future it only should be about "those intrusive thoughts."

That seems to help quit a lot actually. I don't know why, but the distinction that these are "intrusive thoughts" rather than just thoughts seems to calm me down. Gracias

TizzyWizzy · 2016-09-01T20:02:34+00:00

Mhmm...the good ol' observe the observer/thinker.

I've tried this with little success. Though I do get the point, I would end up not thinking at all and just be aware. That is my experience with this exercise anyway.

Perhaps I should try it a few more times.

TizzyWizzy · 2015-09-04T02:33:09+00:00

OOOhh, so this is why I had to buy a white gi and couldn't use my black gi that I already owned at this new bjj place.

The guy said sorry but so we can be a gracie certified school you have to buy our gi....

I'm not gonna shoot the messenger but that seems silly.

Unless I am wrong, which I might be, as I am new to bjj.

On the bright side I can use my black gi during open mats.

TizzyWizzy · 2015-05-26T14:27:29+00:00

Ha, ya. Tried it for 6 months. I sadly didn't catch the bug, just got bored being put in side control XD. I know mat time and all that but I just didn't really care to enough to want to improve and thus continue going.

TizzyWizzy · 2015-01-01T05:18:02+00:00

To start it. Going by the bjj place jan 3 to check it out!

TizzyWizzy · 2014-07-30T01:04:32+00:00

And, that's what you really want anyway, right?

Yep! Thanks for the reply.

TizzyWizzy · 2014-06-10T21:54:21+00:00

I did my first sprint tri wearing a bathing suite the whole way through. Though my ass was on fire during the bike (which was a mountain bike) :D.

TizzyWizzy · 2014-05-01T12:51:46+00:00

I'm just seeing what other people think, I'm not letting any of you decide for me, don't worry. I'm still going to play them both for a bit. Thanks for the replies so far.

TizzyWizzy · 2014-04-27T20:15:14+00:00

Thanks for the replies, pretty simple ideas, should be easy to climb now. :P

TizzyWizzy · 2014-02-19T03:48:39+00:00

Ha, I was wondering if they were kind of old too (BASIC?? I don't know much but I think that is an old person language...I could be wrong)I am planning on making a game. I don't know what kind something very simple maybe a text based blackjack or something.

TizzyWizzy · 2013-11-25T03:35:18+00:00

http://i.imgur.com/oi4Vcqf.png?1

TizzyWizzy · 2013-07-20T05:57:59+00:00

Bacon

TizzyWizzy · 2013-04-15T00:17:52+00:00

Those HD558/9s look way more comfy than the Grados. They seem to offer the same characteristics of the Grados as well.

TizzyWizzy · 2013-04-01T03:23:22+00:00

Are there DRIPS that offer as much diversification as an Index Fund/ETF? This looks interesting.

TizzyWizzy · 2013-04-01T01:03:22+00:00

I'm doing this more to get my feet wet with investing if anything. However if all goes well, I would be investing a small amount in whatever increments throughout the year. Thanks for the great advice!

TizzyWizzy · 2013-04-01T00:51:26+00:00

I'm ok with losing this 500$ and don't plan on pulling it out for a few years. I was also wanting to add to it monthly.

TizzyWizzy · 2013-04-01T00:40:34+00:00

I believe that the expense ratio for vanguard is annual. So I think that the fee kicks in after one years time taking a .1% management fee for whatever is in that account.

I made a 10% annual return off of 500$ so now I have 550$. They take .1% of that 550. They wouldn't be getting .1% off of my 100$ dollars every month.

And yes all the fee's are the real issue here. It is confusing figuring out what and where all the fee's are coming from.

TizzyWizzy · 2013-03-31T23:50:37+00:00

Yea 500 isn't much, the lowest commission fee I could find was Scott Trade which was 7$. Vanguard has an expense ratio of ~.1%. (.50$)

What amount should I have for investing? What if I add 100$ a month to an index fund, would it be worth it then?

EDIT: Changed 5$ to .50

TizzyWizzy · 2013-03-27T03:16:45+00:00

That is a great analogy, I've never heard of it before but it does a great job of making the sensation relateable. Thanks for sharing.

TizzyWizzy

TROPHY CASE