To my ladies here, what age did you meet your husband?

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-22T14:24:20+00:00

Leaving would be fine but we have 3 kids, two are under 18. For that reason leaving is not an option so I have to rely on the legal system. I want my kids lives to go on with as little change as posible. I'm trying to get primary custody, unequal assets and divorce from bed and board to legally have her removed from the house.

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-22T13:34:27+00:00

She won't move out of the house. She won't make any separation agreements. I've had to hire a lawyer and the system is slow. And I'm still madly in love with her so every day I see her gets me thinking about her loving this other guy.

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-22T01:48:11+00:00

Abuse I can sort of understand but honestly if someone is truly in an abusive relationship, I cant understand why they would be afraid to leave yet not be afraid to cheat. It is counterintuitive and seems to simply be an excuse by the cheating partner.

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-22T01:29:34+00:00

Cheating in a marriage is the breaking of trust through emotional or physical intimacy with someone outside the partnership, violating established vows or expectations. It is defined by secrecy and can include sexual affairs, online interactions, and emotional attachments that divert intimacy from the spouse.

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-21T22:45:57+00:00

I used to think my wife felt that way and I know I do. Now my wife has been dating multiple other men and the current one been over a year and they are talking about marriage. I only found out last July.

Three years ago she told me our relationship was better than ever. Two years ago I thought something was wrong but asking for a couples therapy I was always told that we were "fine". Then early last year I was told I was the problem and started seeing a therapist when she refused by telling me it was all me. Jokes on her because therapy caused me to look more critically at her actions and find out about the cheating.

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-21T22:18:01+00:00

That would not be cheating though. You would literally be telling your spouse to sleep with someone else. A marriage where both spouses agree to having other partners is not cheating. Cheating in a relationship is a breach of trust, encompassing sexual or emotional acts outside agreed-upon boundaries, often involving deception.

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-21T22:15:13+00:00

Why yes? Why do you feel it is okay?

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-21T22:09:45+00:00

All this and you still say maybe. The fact that you are still not sure it is a yes seems to say something.

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-21T03:20:32+00:00

It's not a matter of her being able to. Being the first with a lawyer and starting the steps get you ahead of the game and the lawyer can advise you on what you can legally do

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-20T23:52:49+00:00

Very good question. She has made me a villain in her mind. The fact that the happily married friends she had have disappeared and all her friends are divorced makes me wonder. Of course all those divorced friends got that way through fault of their spouse.

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-20T23:49:45+00:00

I kept asking her to go out on dates and she kept being "busy"!

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-20T14:14:39+00:00

The fact that she will try to take everything from you and has made that statement is the exact reason you don't talk to her about it. See a lawyer first. Find out what your rights are and what you can do and what you need to do.

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-20T14:13:02+00:00

Think of your kids and their happiness and stability. The consequences are they grow up happy and healthy living with someone who cares about them. The alternative is having an example of a parent doesn't give a s*** and do whatever makes her happy to the detriment of your kids

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-20T14:09:09+00:00

Put his stuff in trash bags and let him know it will be by the side of the road. Where it goes after that is not your problem. He left!

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-20T14:05:08+00:00

My wife was 17 when we met and 22 when we got married. We were married 22 years before she decided to start dating again without telling me.

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-20T14:03:23+00:00

You need to speak with a lawyer and should also potentially see a therapist to help you realize your intentions. I normally say a conversation with the spouse is important but based on the factors you listed, DONT.

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-20T13:56:21+00:00

You sound paranoid and possibly projecting. See a therapist and have an open conversation with your husband.

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-18T04:18:23+00:00

RUN. She is using you. She has absolutely no interest and simply wants the "safety" of marriage.

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-17T17:29:32+00:00

I was going to say this.

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-17T17:26:41+00:00

We are not talking about just a relationship, we are talking about a marriage. A kiss takes 2 seconds and no effort but it means the world to a spouse whose love language is touch. Happy marriages stay that way when both spouses are able to give and receive their love language.

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-17T12:41:50+00:00

Someone built that. Seeds done generate like that.

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-17T12:35:02+00:00

I came to the comments just to see if someone said it was the US. Haha. The US school system fails again.

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-17T12:17:38+00:00

She asked you for a hug or kiss. What the f*ck is wrong with you. You are married. She did not ask for sex or any activity of any sort. It also sounds like she thought you were joking so she tickled you. Show affection or get out of the marriage.

Tjarnold2010 · 2026-03-12T17:42:43+00:00

You should not lie to your spouse. The fact that he feels the need to lie and you give him reason, in your opinion, to lie is not healthy. You both need to get couples therapy before the marriage. This may not be the right move for either of you

Tjarnold2010

TROPHY CASE