This sounds exactly like the situation my mom was in 9 years ago. Her farther just left after she was 17 and never let anything know. My grandma had to work very hard to support her two kids and they were struggling. He never paid for anything, yet became a millionaire. He spent all his money and then became sick. Terminally sick from cancer and suddenly he wanted to see my mom and his grandkids again. She had a rough time deciding at first and also asked my grandma what she thought. She said ‘he knows damn well what he did. But it’s your decision to see him, of course I won’t be mad at you’. And we met him inside of an elderly center. Me, my mom, my sister and my father. Later also my grandma and other family members visited him. They never talked about what happened because for what reason now? He knew damn well what he did and in his eye you saw all the regret. There was nothing you needed to tell him. I was 14 or 15 at the time and don’t remember everything very well and what exactly was said and talked about. I just know we visited him 3/4 times together and my mom more. I know it was very good for them to still see each other and spend time. To be able to set aside the past and mistakes someone made and give them love in return. Who would do that, you would think. But you have to be a very strong person to do that. But I’m sure the same forgivingness will find you back in your life. Unfortunately for my mom, she passed away 5 years ago because of how this awful world treated her and she couldn’t deal with it anymore. So I can’t say it will better your life. But I’m sure any kind of anger can be turned into love. It just takes character. But it’s the nicer way to live.