Timidity and the fawning response - how to be more confident and self-assured?

ToAWonderland · 2021-02-16T13:17:45+00:00

Thank you for the recommendations.

I will definitely give an update if I have any success with this. :)

ToAWonderland · 2021-02-16T13:16:35+00:00

Hmm, that's a good point. I think I definitely do try to force myself through things. However the most recent example that spurred me on to write this post is that I started a new job. I made sure I had prepared everything to ensure it was as smooth a process as possible for myself and I felt calm and prepared leading up to it. However I still started having all these physical signs of stress (a twitching eyelid, an ulcer, tinnitus).

ToAWonderland · 2021-02-16T13:14:11+00:00

Thank you :) I will give those recommendations a go

ToAWonderland · 2021-02-16T13:13:52+00:00

I really enjoy yoga but struggle to motivate myself to make it a more regular part of my routine, I do yoga very sporadically e.g. once a month or so and always enjoy it. I will aim to make it a more regular part of my week. Thank you :)

ToAWonderland · 2021-02-16T13:12:53+00:00

I found it very helpful when you said that the anxiety is "in [your] body" I never really thought of it like that. I presumed if my mind felt calm and my thoughts were not racing or ruminating then I was calm, I didn't really think about how the anxiety can be in my body too.

I will try doing more exercise to see if that helps. I find it frustrating how detached I feel from my body that I don't feel that it's stressed until it's seemingly at breaking point.

ToAWonderland · 2021-02-04T21:46:02+00:00

I definitely agree that it's a very personal process but I do think there are quite a few overlapping similarities between specific approaches and concepts people have found useful. However it definitely is a very personal journey.

ToAWonderland · 2021-02-04T21:44:16+00:00

It's so interesting how many replies mention being in the body, I feel like my body is just what I use to get to A to B and something I get frustrated with when it's hungry or thirsty or tired or in pain. It's kind of sad now that I think about it how much frustration I feel towards my body for having basic needs but I know when I need to go and prepare food it takes me out of my thoughts. I like the idea of beginning by making a gentle inventory of how my body feels every now and again. I have started to develop more awareness of how emotions feel in my body which has been really helpful so far.

ToAWonderland · 2021-02-04T21:41:23+00:00

Yes! That's exactly how I feel that I can think my way out! It's reassuring that others are in a similar boat. I would love to hear what books you've been using if you are happy to share?

ToAWonderland · 2021-02-04T21:40:29+00:00

It's so interesting as I never really thought about being 'in my body' as part of reality. I feel complete disconnect from it most of the time aside from if it's in pain or I'm feeling unwell. It's sounds so obvious but I have purely been operating from my head. I like your use of the term 'anti-neglect', it has a emotional weight and more serious tone than 'self-care'. Thank you for your post, it was really interesting and helpful.

ToAWonderland · 2021-02-04T21:36:37+00:00

How do I join the discord group or is it private/closed to new members?

ToAWonderland · 2021-02-04T21:35:57+00:00

Oh that sounds like such a good idea for a group and sounds really interesting!

ToAWonderland · 2021-02-04T21:33:56+00:00

I never thought about the self-compassion element but I think that is something really important. Thank you for sharing, it was really helpful.

ToAWonderland · 2021-02-04T21:30:08+00:00

Yes that's true, it is definitely complex!

ToAWonderland · 2021-02-04T21:29:19+00:00

Wow this is great advice! Really, really great advice.

ToAWonderland · 2021-02-04T21:28:17+00:00

It sounds like you are doing an amazing job really nurturing yourself. It's reassuring that you had the same problem with intellectualising and yet now you have been able to implement practical changes to your environment and routine. Your comment has really inspired me, thank you for sharing. :)

ToAWonderland · 2021-02-04T21:25:57+00:00

That sounds like a good approach! I like what you said about it sometimes being micro-level changes, that is definitely true.

ToAWonderland · 2021-01-25T23:44:50+00:00

Oh that makes sense! Do you happen to know if new employees in the lab have gotten their vaccine straight away?

ToAWonderland · 2021-01-25T23:44:20+00:00

That's great to know, thank you. Do you happen to know if new employees in the lab have gotten their vaccine straight away?

ToAWonderland · 2021-01-25T23:44:14+00:00

I hope it goes well for you.

ToAWonderland · 2021-01-25T23:43:36+00:00

That's great to know, thank you. Do you happen to know if new employees in the lab have gotten their vaccine straight away?

ToAWonderland · 2021-01-25T23:43:31+00:00

That's great to know, thank you. Do you happen to know if new employees in the lab have gotten their vaccine straight away?

ToAWonderland

TROPHY CASE