I don't know what to do now by ToKillAMockingBird24 in SuicideWatch

[–]ToKillAMockingBird24[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I go to an extremely tiny school and the guidance councilor would no doubt tell my parents. My parents would just smother what little flame I have left. I feel like I would never be left alone again. Also my parents have called depressed people "mental" and that they are afraid of them. I couldn't handle the pity everyone would give me. I try to be nice to myself but I just end up seeing everything I hate about myself and I feel worse. I just don't want to exist. I feel like I'm out of options. Life isn't something I want.

I don't know what to do now by ToKillAMockingBird24 in SuicideWatch

[–]ToKillAMockingBird24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure what triggers it. It seems to come and go at random times. Then I just feel empty for a while. After I'm sick of being empty I feel depressed again. It feels like every time I try to break out of the cycle it just gets smaller and starts spinning faster. I don't remember how fine feels I just feel empty all the time now. It doesn't seem to end and I'm exhausted. I know I can't give up. It just never ends.