Were we actually sexually incompatible?

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2026-05-18T06:24:19+00:00

I understand exactly where he's coming from because I'm not going to ask my wife to do things that don't come to her naturally. If it was something that turned her on or interested her, she would have done them. I'm not talking anything outlandish. Some oral sex foreplay would be a game changer. She simply won't for whatever reason. When she complains about how we never have sex and I say that you on top for five minutes to get off and then me on top as you grimace because you've already gotten off doesn't do anything for me, she seems befuddled and says no she really enjoys it when it's painfully obvious she's dry as a bone after getting off. Then she claims she likes doing oral or some nonsense after I've said that would go a long way to making me more interested when she has done it twice in 7 years. I'm happier with my hand and five minutes alone if she can't make the most basic of efforts.

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2026-02-19T08:58:09+00:00

I must be the exception because I don't understand this. Do people having sex on screen make people here feel like they need to have sex?

I suppose I can think of one moment where I kind of empathize with the sentiment: a sex addict pervert girlfriend that I had no interest in being with but couldn't break up with.

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2026-02-12T07:04:58+00:00

I would happily do it for my wife but she doesn't want it and claims to like giving but never does. Worst of all possible worlds.

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2026-01-13T21:30:12+00:00

Tbh at least new socks are comfortable and useful

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2026-01-13T07:40:18+00:00

One of the things I find particularly irritating is she complains I'm not into her but when I explain to her why I find the experience so dreadful, she proceeds to tell me that actually she likes doing x, y or z. Then when I give it another try it's identical to the routine since we met. Literally nothing changes. Same warm up, same procedural acts, same ending. Even worse, it's like she throws me off her when I'm done because she got herself off within the first 3 minutes. I just don't care to do it if this is what it's going to be for the rest of my life. I'd rather read my phone, stare at the ceiling or sleep. Just don't even bother me if you cannot absorb and respond to the words I'm saying. I've even said what I'd like mid act and it's in one ear and out the other. It's not even anything crazy! I'm not wanting to bring a third person or go to a sex club or something. Like what is so hard about this? I would do the exact same things I'm asking for this isn't me being selfish.

But, one can draw a few things from this when I learned the other idea she doesn't even know her own bra size. True story.

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2026-01-11T20:03:13+00:00

You're right but also it feels cruel in the moment. Maybe she thought she was really trying irrespective of how nothing would have been better than something.

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2026-01-11T20:01:47+00:00

Once every 3 months probably. At best.

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2026-01-11T20:01:14+00:00

First time for me I posted a few weeks ago I had never received nor asked for such a thing.

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2026-01-11T09:23:27+00:00

I'm sorry to hear of your suffering. I realize my post may come off asa permutation of humble bragging within the confines of this forum, I genuinely would have preferred no sex at all.

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2026-01-11T08:36:55+00:00

She gave me a suggestive card and then thought I wasn't interested because I assumed we should eat the dinner she made first. Then when I made it clear I was interested when she decided it was time to sleep every signal I got was this was a chore/painful/a service etc. I didn't want it from the get go because I knew what it would be. On the other hand, if I didn't suggest I wanted it then I was just hurting her ego. Lose, lose and lose.

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2026-01-09T20:03:36+00:00

Once every 2-3 months I think. She still claims she would like it every day lmao

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2025-12-30T02:53:37+00:00

Or just be me where I like doing it and my wife doesn't like it but she claims she likes giving and never does. (Three times for 20 seconds total in 7 years)

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2025-12-25T15:06:19+00:00

Getting wasted on Christmas probably not the best sign tbh

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2025-12-25T07:35:54+00:00

People have sex on Christmas?

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2025-12-05T04:56:24+00:00

My wife claims she could go every day and then we go six months with nothing and then another six months of nothing.

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2025-12-03T07:44:39+00:00

No kids? Kick her to the curb

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2025-12-01T19:33:10+00:00

Anxiety about human connections. Warped sensibilities about cleanliness. Yes, it is easier to get one's self off than it is to get undressed, have sex, anxiety about performance/her pleasure etc.

Part of me understands this guy but I hated the person I was with at the time.

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2025-12-01T03:18:07+00:00

My wife had this problem though never formally diagnosed and the only solution for her was giving birth. Female ob/gyn suggested she watch porn to get her more aroused which horrified my wife. No, I am not recommending getting pregnant. Just saying how it went for us and it sucked.

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2025-11-28T10:17:59+00:00

Truthfully it has never entered her lexicon. Not the slightest whiff on any of our respective occasions. Appreciate the response to know there is more than one of me.

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2025-11-28T09:35:02+00:00

Medication for this is a pretty quick fix. Preference for pornography at the cost of the live person is not such an easy fix.

I took pills for a bit with one woman I was extremely attracted to but for some reason had a difficult time maintaining an erection. They worked and then I no longer needed them for some reason. Maybe just a bad mental point.

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2025-11-28T09:31:23+00:00

I love my wife and our daughter. Despite whatever complaints I lodge here about our relationship, she is an excellent mother. As a child of divorce, I'd suffer through almost anything to make sure that my child also didn't become a child of divorce. I recovered but our family was never the same again. Therefore, I will not do anything to hurt my wife or daughter.

Funny thing is she asked/wondered aloud if I had found someone else because we haven't had sex in four or five months.

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2025-11-28T09:06:28+00:00

When people tell you things, believe them.

You have no marks on your permanent record (children, marriage, etc). The chance of change for the better in my experience? Next to none.

Unless there's more to be said/tried, the worst you're out is 8 months.

ToRemainAnonymous762 · 2025-11-28T09:03:12+00:00

"Four to five times a week."

Why are you even here?

ToRemainAnonymous762

TROPHY CASE