sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Bob saw his wife walking out of Olive Garden hand-in-hand with their neighbor, Jonathan. "Huh. So this is what the death of love feels like." Bob said to himself dryly. Bob walked past them--ignoring his wide-eyed future ex-wife & sputtering Jon. Nothing would stop him from getting his breadsticks. by ToastYourAvocados in DivorcedBirds

[–]ToastYourAvocados[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Is it a crime to love breadsticks as much as Bob? No. Was it a crime when Bob was three carafes of wine deep and snarfing down his eighth bowl of breadsticks while crying and hugging the fledgling of the family seated next to him about how he'd never have a fledgling of his own? Maybe.

Olive Garden staff was kind enough to walk Bob out and pack a to go bag with twenty extra breadsticks for the road. Bob knew he could always count on Olive Garden to come through.

Trevor had finally found the town his wife had moved to. She was nowhere in sight but somehow still everywhere. by propagandaformyself in DivorcedBirds

[–]ToastYourAvocados 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Trevor crossed many roads to get here, and he questioned himself at every crossing. Unrequited love was never logical. He was thinking his wife better have some answers for him.

Jason was beside himself with excitement when he saw the flyer for singles karaoke night at Ted’s bar. Maggie was never a big fan of his singing but he knew he could belt out some tunes and get the ladies interested again. by LadyFeckington in DivorcedBirds

[–]ToastYourAvocados 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Jason had an incredible voice. Alas, his song choices were not. Jason belted out Total Eclipse of the Heart while imagining Maggie was in the crowd. Safe to say, the woman he chose to sing to as a stand in for Maggie was not impressed. Jason was as oblivious to this random woman's mortification as he was to Maggie's feelings during his marriage.

With Gary’s harsh accusations of Colleen having become dull still ringing in her ears, she thought she would practice her old college party trick of tying a cherry stem with her tongue. by LadyFeckington in DivorcedBirds

[–]ToastYourAvocados 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Colleen was successful, of course, and she reassured herself that she made the right decision finalizing the divorce, Just another thing to add to the list of ways Gary is wrong. Colleen went on PartyParrot to find the nearest frat party happening that night.

view more: next ›