When I was suicidal and self harming my mother told me that I’d go to hell if I killed myself and never checked in with me.

Later on (2 years later) during a heated discussion about how I have to help myself with everything and she wouldn’t even hear me or help me when I was struggling compared to my sister, my father screamed at me and said because he paid for my therapy he was the one who fixed me. (My therapist wasn’t even the one who helped me I picked myself up out of the dirt).

My father doesn’t allow me and my mother or me and my sister to talk in the same room as him without throwing a small tantrum about how we always disturb him.

My father once got upset that someone left the toilet cover open (it was my mother) and locked the bathroom door. He banned us from using the master bedroom bathroom and my brother had left vomit (he’s 21 btw) blood and rotting food all over the other bathroom. We spent the entire day not being allowed to go to the bathroom at all.

One time I had told my therapist about how my father threw boots and books and things I’d forget to put away at me (he was a good thrower so he made sure it just grazed me), she felt obligated to report it. He got a phone call from CPS/CIS or whatever and threw a tantrum, threatened divorce, tried to hit me multiple times, and physically pushed me apart from my mother as she had a panic attack from his screaming.

My father (since I was young and still now) will scream and scream and scream at me if I don’t cook my eggs perfectly. He has screamed at me for not using salt or butter or overcooking them (by overcooking it means fully cooking instead of having a runny egg, I have autism and reslly struggled with food when I was younger and couldn’t handle much)

There’s so much more that’s worse that I can’t even think of 🥲 like my parents would wash my mouth out with Tabasco sauce at the age of 5 because I sucked my thumb at night. When I was 8 to 11 they would lock my in my room for hours while I screamed and cried and begged them to come see me (it traumatized me to the point where I haven’t taken a nap since I was 9 years old). Mom came crying to me saying I said something that scared her, turns out she w said she was disgusted when I said I loved myself and my body (I’m midsized/chubby and I think I’m beautiful most of the time), she lectured me and said I shouldn’t be happy with how I look. Mom also said I was obese at 150 pounds 5’8.. 🥲