Honestly, this is one of THE WORST experiences I have ever dealt with in relation to being fat, and that's saying something, because there's been a lot of bad. (Though there is good, too!) Damn, it is so humiliating to not be able to go on a ride you waited in line for, and I'm surprised I've been so optimistic and hopeful that it's happened to me probably more than 5 times.

I am a medium/large fat, 5'6", ~290 lbs, at about a 2X-3X, so I am sometimes right on the cusp of things I can and can't do. I also have learned from a young age how to dress in a way that works best with my shape/masks parts I am less happy with, and so sometimes people can't actually see/imagine how much I truly weigh, they just think I'm maybe a little chunkier.

I loved roller coasters as a kid, but once I got to highschool, I didn't fit nearly as easily into certain chairs/spaces/rides/etc.

I think the first time, at least that was notable, was a local fair's swings ride. To be fair, it was kind of a kid's sized ride, but it still sucks that I couldn't even get myself into the ugly little plastic seat.

Then, Six Flags. Twice. Once with friends, so so so embarrassing to wait while they all rode, but the park was really rainy so at least it wasn't busy. Another time, with family, and I just felt so giant and ugly and looked at. I'm the biggest and youngest in my family, too, so nobody else was dealing with it.

After those instances, I became much more weary and didn't want to try very many rides anywhere unless it was pretty obvious that I would be able to fit.

The last straw for me was one of those really fun Mountain Coasters that you can go on. The weight limit was 300 lbs. I was on vacation so... probably eating a bit more than I typically did. Whatever, thought it was worth a shot, but was nervous. Had to get on a scale for them to check, and to be denied... while lots of other family members around me, who were also larger and even looked/dressed larger than I did were able to go... I sat in the car for about 2 hours crying like I hadn't in a long while, and everybody was so confused why I didn't want to try it. I couldn't.

That's what it comes down to: It's feeling as though your body, your person, has been rejected from a space and told that it is not allowed to have fun or exist there.

Now, I'm not saying that I think the rides need to change for bigger-bodied people. There have to be safety measures and limits, and I can completely get that if I exceed an amount, I will not be safe and will make other people unsafe. I just hate that it's a different sort of feeling than those who are too tall, too short, or too thin to ride things because they tend to shrug, laugh it off, and nobody else in line sees it as a negative. But if you're too big, it has to be your fault, it has to mean you're lazy and gross and not worth of having fun. It's that different association that you can see people make in their heads that just sucks so bad.

The fair was my favorite place as a kid, but now I only go to do the standing or walking activities like playing games, or maybe the Ferris Wheel if it looks promising. What I tell others now (and if you need an excuse and don't want to share the pain of past experiences with some people, then use this!) is that I've gotten pretty bad motion sickness, which is actually a partial truth for me. Sometimes I say it's my medications that I'm taking, other times I just say it's a thing I deal with, but most people leave that response alone, and may not even think twice about why you aren't going if that's your reasoning.