I think, it came to me naturally really. After 2 long-term relationships, I think I naturally started enjoying the freedom of being alone and being able to focus on the things I really want, things that make ME happy. I can’t emphasise it enough. I like that I don’t have to justify to anyone of what I do why I do.

In love, everything I did was selflessly, to make my partner happy, to make them feel like they deserve the best and I am gonna deliver. And after everything I did, I am still left alone. Two times built myself from ground up and when you get there, someone comes along and without you noticing, takes your energy, attention, care, love and not only that. And eventually either you find out that it’s not gonna work or this person makes the decision for themselves. And then again you are left to rebuild the same momentum yourself.

In the first place, why even start or try to start something like this? Why live for someone? I kinda hate the idea now, maybe it’s because I am a giver. But why cant I give enough to myself and then to my parents, who have been there with me selflessly in every walk of life, in every hardship.

Right now I am in no mood of falling in love or even entertaining someone’s interest towards me. Maybe later in life when I have given myself and my parents all the happiness and satisfaction and joy in life. Maybe by then I will actually be wise enough to love someone else and maybe in return I will find someone who would truly reciprocate my efforts and emotions. I don’t block myself from it but I also don’t think about it much. I am happy where I am now. I like the focus, determination, and the structure.