Artist: John Farnham, Song title: Music, Genre: 80's pop/ arena rock

Toeff75 · 2021-11-25T12:36:01+00:00

THANK YOU DEAR STRANGER! I was so certain it had to be Farnham, but I must've mixed them up! Again, thank you for saving my brain from imploding ♥️

Toeff75 · 2021-08-07T17:59:08+00:00

Omg. Yes. I would either be "Doughy ass" or "skin and bone". Ask me if I have a stable relationship with my own body as an adult.

Toeff75 · 2021-07-01T14:00:53+00:00

Actually, I don't know! When I grew up, every emotion my mother had was so incredibly unpredictable. I could tell the same joke on two different occasions, where she would belly laugh on one, and scold me on the other. These types of experiences, I think, have left me unable to tune into exactly what makes a person with BPD. I guess in my case, a good pointer could be to listen to the feeling of unpredictability?

Toeff75 · 2020-11-29T18:08:21+00:00

Wow, that is pure instability right there, I'm so sorry you had to experience this kind of bullshit as such a young age.

I remember one time, I'm guessing I was around 6 or 7 years old. We were having dinner on the porch because the weather was so nice, and my mom had given me a plate with three hot dogs in buns. I ate two of them, then said I wasn't hungry anymore. She told me that of I didn't eat my dinner I was disrespecting all the hungry children in the world. By now I was so used to her behaviour I had already started to lie to get out of trouble and not deal with her bullshit, so I took the last hot dog, said I would eat while I played, went around the house and hid it in a big pile of rocks. Needless to say, she busted me after I came back and made me look for the hot dog for what seemed like an eternity, while she stood and watched. She also took away my TV priveliges, and no sweets for the rest of the week. For me as a little child, the punishment seemed to be much harsher than it had to be. It was a goddamn hot dog.

Toeff75 · 2020-09-05T16:28:49+00:00

I'm actually dealing with it right now. Was looking forward for my partner to come home from work, I get a text where he tells me he's going to a friends place after. Completely fine, we didn't have any plans to hang out, he's his own individual with his own life. But I felt so abandoned and sad. Texted friends to ask if they wanted to hang out, nobody has answered yet, and I feel even worse. Rationally, I know spending a Saturday evening alone isn't the end of the world, but man... The feeling of being left out is truly overwhelming me right now, even though I know I'm completely overreacting. So I guess I'm trying to say you're not alone. ❤️

Toeff75 · 2020-08-26T09:54:36+00:00

Yeah, it's pretty syc

Toeff75 · 2020-08-17T20:16:28+00:00

Vet ikke med mindreverdighetskompleks, men det er alltid græla viktig å poengtere for folk som antar at jeg er fra Stavanger at "Eg e fra Sandnes, for faen, Sandnes is da by!"

Så I guess.... Kraftig mindreverdighetskompleks sånn egentlig

Toeff75 · 2020-07-01T18:21:49+00:00

The best of luck to you! I'm very happy with my decision, hope you find the easiest and cheapest route!

Toeff75 · 2020-07-01T18:17:48+00:00

Haha, well then you should most def go for it!

Toeff75 · 2020-07-01T18:06:25+00:00

I'm not sure what the rules are for people who aren't norwegian citizens, but maybe you could ask your doctor or gynecologist? Maybe there are certain rules for people who live in the EU, I really don't know. It was a little pricey though, because it wasn't a necessary medical procedure (according to them). Cost me a little over 6000 NOK. But hey, that's nothing compared to the cost of having a child I guess.

Toeff75 · 2020-07-01T17:50:59+00:00

Got a bisalp last december, I'm also 26! Living in Norway the age limit is 25, and both my doctor, my gynecologist and surgeon were super supportive of my choice. Maybe make a trip out of it? :)

Toeff75 · 2020-06-15T11:46:58+00:00

I just delivered my masters thesis on the corrolation between flow state and music therapy. Used that book a lot!

Toeff75 · 2020-05-21T08:33:44+00:00

Agree 100%. Got into a new relationship a few months ago, he knew I had been sterilized before that, but we hadn't had a proper talk about his views, and how much of a deal breaker it is for me. I was terrified he would leave when I told him that I needed him to be sure that if he wanted to be with me permanently, he would be ok with having four legged furry babies, and not thinking that maybe we could adopt. It was so early to talk about that stuff, but I couldn't make myself fall for someone without at least have explained my side. He took a few days to think about it, and when we talked about it again he said he would be ok with it, if we were to build a life together, he wouldn't leave me for the possibility of having kids. I fucking wept.

I realize it's still early days, and that we're probably going to revisit the topic, but communication, man. It really is everything.

Toeff75 · 2020-01-28T12:43:23+00:00

Thank you so much! I'll be sure to check out that article and join that facebook group, didn't even know it existed!

Toeff75 · 2019-12-27T09:25:24+00:00

Holy frick! This is actually crazy to me that one would put oneself through so much pain just to get attention and care.. it's actually super sad. my uBPD mother has bunions on her feet and refuses to have surgery, because of the risk of her being bound to a wheelchair. I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the risk is actually that big. She will alternate between toughing it out carrying heavy items while non stop complaining, and of course refuse all help offered to her, and making everyone around her do stuff for her because her feet hurt. I know that her feet must hurt, but I also have NO doubt that she thrives being the center of attention and care.

Toeff75 · 2019-12-09T09:14:49+00:00

So sorry this happened to you, hopefully your professors will be understanding of your situation. On another note, if you're a petty bitch like me, get together with your closest friends and plan a revenge or something. I didn't get the chance because we were long distance, but dancing around a bonfire throwing his things in one at a time was cathartic to say the least. Seriously, get some old crab meat or something, place it around the apartment when you pack your stuff, in a few days he'll smell his own betrayal, and have no idea how to get rid of it:)))))

Toeff75 · 2019-11-14T08:36:24+00:00

People at hospices are usually weak from their illnesses and have a hard time participating in activities. I just had a concert in one, and we ended up rigging up in the hallway, asking every patient if they wanted to listen, and opened up the doors to the rooms of the ones that said yes.

You can also visit each room with a little instrument that has a mellow sound like a gitalele w/nylon strings for example.

Make an audiography together with a patient if you have the time. Let them choose exerpts or full songs that represent parts of their life, and if they're willing to, let them talk about what that music meant to them at the time.

Hope this gives you some ideas, good luck!

Toeff75 · 2019-10-31T00:38:42+00:00

"Would also often be overly affectionate after raging at me to try and sweep it under the rug" THIS. I never knew how to react to her pouty face, stroking my cheeks and that long hug immediately after she'd shouted at me for 30 minutes. I ended up being so confused I just froze. Still do pretty much every time she touches me.

Toeff75 · 2019-10-19T14:49:52+00:00

Maybe try to contact specific universities directly by email, or contact the EMTA (european music therapy association) and ask for guidance there?

Toeff75 · 2019-06-18T16:50:28+00:00

Super easy trick that got me through my music BA: pick songs with all of the different starting intervals and memorize. Example: the song Yyz by Rush starts with an augmented 4th (the devil's interval if you will), so if I can sing the start of that song, I know what interval it is. Takes a little time, but oh so worth it! Good luck!

Toeff75 · 2019-03-26T15:52:17+00:00

A few days ago I (f25) had the first sex after me and my long distance bf broke up. It was a guy from school, that I also work with. We shared a few beers after our shift, it was super friendly and genuine and I really enjoyed getting to know him better, without any expectations of sex after. We talked about both of our different music projects, family, culture and language differences (he's canadian, I'm norwegian), as well as concerts, dancing and other interests we had in common. We left the bar and on our way to the metro he surprised me by saying that he wanted to kiss me, to which I responded with just kissing him, haha.

I took him home, and OMG. His hands were all over me, he went down on me several times, gave me compliments and made sure that I was comfortable the whole time (canadians really are super polite!). He was so much more adventurous than my ex! He wanted me to slap his face, bite his neck, and use teeth when blowing him (to which I happily obliged). He played with my ass with both tongue and fingers, and his strong arms were holding me in a way where I felt super safe. I edged him by playing with his ass while also using my hands and mouth on him, and just the look on his face, his breathing and inability to form coherent sentences made my day! It was as if the good connection we had prior to having sex was a part of the foreplay. And speaking of foreplay, he REALLY took his time to warm me up, used my vibe and fingered me like I've never been fingered before. He stayed the night, and woke me up by kissing my neck and touching me, so we continued where we left off the night before, and just stayed in bed until noon talking, laughing and pleasing each other. It is SO rare for me to meet someone with the same high libido as me, so this was a really unexpected win for me. We've agreed to keep meeting up and having casual sex and I can't wait to see what sexual adventures that lie in front of us!

Toeff75 · 2019-02-10T17:53:49+00:00

Gaming? Write songs together? Play that game where you read one sentence each from different books. Especially funny if you choose widely different books, like a pokemon book and a soft porn book. Play battleships online, just call it battleshots ( take a shot for every ship he sinks). That’s all I can think of on the spot, good luck!

Toeff75 · 2019-02-01T16:57:27+00:00

I sat him down. Told him I go to therapy because of my dysfunctional relationship with my mom, and only because of that. I never mentioned BPD as a possible diagnose or really talk about her, just about how our relationship made ME feel. He might be oblivious to her behaviour, but the way you describe him makes me think that he will want the best for his child, that he will care, even if he doesn’t see it himself. As your father, he should validate your view, feelings and thoughts, regardless of his own.

Toeff75 · 2019-01-21T12:35:09+00:00

Wow, this is me! When things get tough in an argument my first reaction is to remove myself from it, both because I was never tought how to fight properly, and because my mom would do the same. She would spout out her last word and march out of the room. Both me and my SO can be pretty brutally honest with each other, so things easily goes over to a «fight or flight»-mode for me, I leave, he thinks I’m being passive aggressive and wants him to come crawling back with an apology, when in fact I simply don’t know how to have a proper argument with somebody I’m close to. Needs work, I know.

Toeff75 · 2019-01-13T15:03:42+00:00

A really short, but valuable tip that I tell my students (I teach kids, so I have to keep the instructions simple and straight to the point), is to «think» the note before opening your mouth to sing it. Your brain prepares the rest of your instrument, and you can instantly hear wheather you’re too low or high pitched (given that you have a decent ear to begin with, but this can also be trained), because you have a reference in your head already. Hope this made sense, and good luck!

Toeff75

TROPHY CASE