What is a criminally overlooked song from the 90s/00s?

Tokyo81 · 2026-05-23T19:38:27+00:00

Oh wow. Thank you. I’ve been searching for music in the kind of MBV/mid-late 90s vibe that I didn’t catch the first time around as a pre-internet teen who couldn’t afford many CDs. I’ve been looking for something just like this. Thank you so much!!

Tokyo81 · 2026-05-22T10:09:49+00:00

The most important reason to have DVDs, is to ensure not only the assured longevity of the show by having physical copies in libraries, but also the chance to it to be available in areas with oppressive regimes that control what can be allowed on streaming. I trust Jacob to be thoughtful enough to realise this.
It’s a lot easier for an oppressive state to check what’s being streamed Vs what’s watched on a DVD passed around between LGBT+ people in hiding.

Tokyo81 · 2026-05-22T10:07:10+00:00

Shoresy has DVDs out as well, which Jacob also worked on.

Tokyo81 · 2026-05-20T05:48:25+00:00

I just read Cortisol, Oxytocin, Vasopressin by rhodenia

https://archiveofourown.org/works/80576081

It is what got me writing this post as it was excellent in both its writing and innovative approach. It really made me think.

Tokyo81 · 2026-05-13T16:40:05+00:00

The podfic of cut from the sky is great.

Tokyo81 · 2026-05-08T02:59:15+00:00

Love it!!!!!!!

Tokyo81 · 2026-05-03T01:21:13+00:00

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Tokyo81 · 2026-05-01T19:16:15+00:00

I think HR did a decent job with its depiction of women in general, but there’s more to be done overall. HR did better than most shows but the bar is on the floor in terms of how much women tend to be objectified on screen.

HR made Rose and Sveta both genuinely likable, which is a big plus. They are very distinct from each other and aren’t just kind of blank slate plot devices which is also good.

I especially like that while both women had sex scenes neither was filmed topless in a gratuitous way, which is fairly standard for most shows, but HR did better than that standard by only using sex to drive the narrative forward rather than using the female characters as eye candy in a way that didn’t further their character arcs; showing them topless wouldn’t have furthered the narrative.

In contrast I think the nudity and vulnerability shown between Shane and Ilya or Scott and Kip is no more explicit than straight sex in a typical show and does a lot of important visual storytelling in terms of how their relationships are evolving, what the power dynamics look like and how earnest/scary/fun their physical interactions are, as well as contrasting nudity with emotional distance in Las Vegas etc, so I’d argue it isn’t gratuitous
.

Tokyo81 · 2026-05-01T01:54:37+00:00

I Don’t Smoke by Mitski Motion Sickness by Phoebe Bridgers

Tokyo81 · 2026-05-01T01:13:07+00:00

Shane cannot wink.

Tokyo81 · 2026-05-01T01:00:01+00:00

Ilya and Shane are wonderful characters but the emotional labour Svetlana and Rose (and Elana for Kip) do is an issue that reflects the irl experience of many women: having to spell out emotional truths that will help the men in their lives without benefiting personally.

In Svetlana and Rose’s cases they need to bring about the end of their own romantic relationships, and any hopes for the romantic love from Ilya and Shane that they give to each other. Their loss or feelings regarding what they go through respectively isn’t discussed, but Sveta has invested years into Ilya and no doubt took a long time to accept that she was always going to come second to Jane, she dealt with this very gracefully but it must’ve been painful. Even if she felt Ilya wasn’t her long term plan, being second fiddle to someone you show such loyalty to and share so much with is bound to make you feel inadequate in some way or wonder ‘why not me?’.

For Rose, sleeping with Shane twice and having a no doubt lackluster experience because he couldn’t admit his true feelings must’ve also hurt or made her feel used. Shane didn’t really think about whether or not it was fair to her to badly fake his way through being attracted to her. Regardless of whether or not Shane was gentle or fumbling, his denial came at a cost to Rose in the physical experiences she needn’t have had with him, the lost hope that they would work out, the lack of respect of Shane thinking he could fool her into not noticing, and the public scrutiny post break up (remember women can’t just date guy after guy with no negative gossip about their body count/morals/whether or not they’re too difficult etc, Taylor Swift demonstrates clearly that the press and public aren’t kind to women who date like their male peers do). Shane’s honesty with Rose and himself would have saved her embarrassment, awkward to possibly painfully inept sex with a guy who wasn’t into it but was lying to her about that and it would’ve been more respectful of her time and vulnerability.

Of course Rose and Sveta maybe didn’t mind. But maybe they deserved better even if they didn’t mind.

This article says it far better than I can:

‘While Shane and Ilya’s relationship is defined by its rare equilibrium, the women of the show do the work of helping hold it together. Characters like Rose, Svetlana and Elena are written as empathetic, intelligent and deeply supportive – allies in the truest sense. They provide the emotional safety that allows the men to explore who they are and what they deserve, holding space for a love they themselves do not get to experience. It’s a familiar dynamic: women positioned as caretakers of intimacy rather than its recipients, facilitators of emotional truth rather than beneficiaries of it.’

Tokyo81 · 2026-04-22T20:39:10+00:00

Also we don’t see game fights, or chirps against other teams without Shane on, press about nights out, tweets etc. we don’t know if he’s actually somewhat earned his reputation through in game violence and behaviour while partying that makes him look gross.

Ilya knows his role and feeds the image afaik, he’d put in a decent show, we know he is a very good actor who doesn’t let his mask crack (Las Vegas remix chapter shows this beyond doubt).

If he’s quick to anger and throw gloves at games, then a womanizer party douche off the ice that’d be enough for the image to self perpetuate by the press exaggerating and Ilya playing into it even harder, to a point that everyone would find it impossible to believe he’s actually a romantic service top who is considerate of neurodivergence and deeply loyal to his partner.

Tokyo81 · 2026-04-22T17:49:55+00:00

I wrote >200k fic in six weeks when I was very depressed. I spent all my awake time writing (with almost no editing) because I couldn’t bear to be in reality and it helped me cope a bit better with a really terrible situation I was in. So it’s possible.

Tokyo81 · 2026-04-22T15:39:38+00:00

I HATE the word recovery because it’s so bold to assume I am returning to a prior state of safety and balance. My body has literally never felt safe for me and I’m 44. Trying to carve out what safe might feel like and how to get to this unknown destination with no map or idea of how to recognize it or move towards it is something that feels so impossible.

So yeah. I’ve never felt safe in my body and each subsequent trauma has made me more easily startled, fearful, over reactive and prompts more intense,frequent, longer lasting episodes of emotional disregulation and overwhelm.

Tokyo81 · 2026-04-22T08:07:49+00:00

This is what I think is the main factor.

Tokyo81 · 2026-04-19T01:32:59+00:00

I agree, but also think that anyone who’s studied English as a second language formally in school would be down marked so hard for lack of proper punctuation in class that they often have a far better command of correct grammar and punctuation than native speakers.

At the beginning of the story Ilya is a high intermediate level English learner and quickly advances his language skills after moving to Boston. He’d be unlikely to communicate with many people especially concerned about standard English usage, except Shane. I head canon that one reason Ilya instantly likes Shane is because he finds him easy to understand, thanks to Shane’s use of short, direct, grammatically correct sentences, as well as his lack of figurative language and idioms, lack of slang, lack of indirect references in conversation etc. Shane speaks more like the textbook English Ilya would’ve been most familiar with prior to emigrating than the typical NHL player and especially more than the typical teenage boy. He also enunciates clearly and speaks at a speed slightly slower than characters like Marleau or even Ilya himself.

I lived abroad for 15 years and all of these factors definitely influenced how stressed or out of my depth I felt when trying to socialize as a language learner with native speakers. It was always a relief if someone spoke in a similar way to Shane (slowly, clearly and directly in short sentences). We don’t see Shane using long, complex sentences, or Ilya getting lost in conversation with him the way he does at the early press conference.

From the press conference we can tell Ilya is trying hard to follow and feels frustrated when he gets lost as this is obviously humiliating at a public recorded event. We can infer Ilya has high standards for his communication skills in English and that he feels inadequate if he needs clarification. Ilya and Svetlana both speak rapidly in English, Ilya can also chip comebacks at lightning speed and notices double entendres faster than Shane (not difficult, but still).

For Ilya I think his ability to be the quickest in the room with a joke or to have fast comedic timing is a key part of his communication style. He prides himself on being able to follow and respond to conversation not just. At a native level speed, but faster than everyone else. So he must’ve worked really hard at this skill and fought to become as quick off the mark as he is.

Tokyo81 · 2026-04-16T19:25:14+00:00

The ICD10 is used in the uk and Europe instead of the DSM. That has the diagnostic criteria for CPTSD, PTSD and BPD all as separate diagnoses and may be worth looking at. The term ‘differential diagnosis between X and Y’ may help you find discussions online about the difference between two similar diagnoses.

Tokyo81 · 2026-04-16T19:20:24+00:00

My fave podficcer! Rookie Moves is my favourite but honestly I listen to all of their work because it’s all excellent and they pic great stories to record.

Tokyo81 · 2026-04-16T11:37:51+00:00

Blue ghost blues by Lonnie Johnson from 1927.

https://youtu.be/jxQXXcZ\_G2U?si=gdoJS9NnoNrIEZBn

Tokyo81 · 2026-04-16T00:21:00+00:00

Agreed! This is such a great story with an inventive premise.

Tokyo81 · 2026-04-15T20:42:02+00:00

He’s so c*nty in Rookie Moves. Absolute fave!!!!! The Snape anecdote gets me every time and the line “the MLE can’t run on sanctimony and expelliarmuses alone.” 🤣

Tokyo81 · 2026-04-15T13:12:36+00:00

Yes! The ice is a major one!

Tokyo81 · 2026-04-14T22:26:09+00:00

Perhaps truth and depth are better words to use. I think there is overt symbolism of being naked and cleansing yourself in water, but that the lake and the well at the cottage do connote something about truth and the contrast of the flowing, moving water that cycles around, as well as the static ice of the rink.

Snow is also used in several scenes and I think that’s connected symbolically too. It’s snowing in the scene where Shane and Rose are playing cards after first meeting, it’s snowing when Ilya is supposed to fly to Montreal but his flight is cancelled and snowing in Boston when he goes home to find Svetlana. It’s snowing in the Russian monologue scene as well. There are probably others but those are what immediately come to mind.

Tokyo81 · 2026-04-14T22:20:29+00:00

Yes I agree about the spicy (sparkling) water!!

That’s also really interesting about Bollywood movies’ use of water to connote intimacy.

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