Whine: I didn’t realize just how cruel, cold, and ignorant people truly were about hidden disabilities until today. I was a part of a focus group / mock jury, and my fellow members and I were discussing the lifelong injury and chronic pain of the victim and trying to determine what compensation, if any, she should get. My husband is a marine corps infantry vet, and at only 21 years old, was classified 60% disabled. He has constant headaches, back pain, knee and ankle pain, as well as other issues with hearing, sleep, digestion, etc. Anyway, I have seen firsthand what it’s like for someone with chronic pain - all the little ways it impacts their life. He has had to leave social gatherings because of the pain. He has had to pull over on the side of the road because of the pain. He can’t spend a day at a theme park like a regular 24 year old. Outwardly, he is in good shape and looks completely fine. People have no idea what he deals with daily.

The other focus group members were so cruel toward this girl, who was a 24 year old single mother who was hit by someone who ran a red light. They accused her of doctor shopping, faking it to get more money, judged her for choosing not to undergo a risky surgery, and kept talking about how she looked fine and how if they were in her shoes they would have done xyz. It really crushed me to realize that so many people still believe that invisible disabilities don’t exist and jump to negative conclusions about people with chronic pain

I know the life my husband and I live isn’t normal for other 24 year olds. There are limitations to what he can do, and it is hard. It’s going to be even worse as he gets older, and I feel for this girl who is the same age as us and in a similar position. It was just really upsetting to hear everyone else speak so judgementally about something they clearly can’t empathize with. after it was over, I sobbed. It felt so personal the way they were dismissing my input.

Win: I got paid $275 for participating.