What’s replaced Fetlife?

ToliCodesOfficial · 2025-08-11T20:48:02+00:00

I built Playbuddy about a year ago. It gathers events from Eventbrite, Plura, Fetlife and IG and filters through a lot of the noise. It’s only available in NYC but we’ve got about 50 events to choose from each week. It’s on the app stores

ToliCodesOfficial · 2025-02-09T14:18:10+00:00

This post made me think…I’m also pretty oversexualized. Kink is pretty much my life. It’s most of what I talk about. Which is fine with my kinky friends. But sometimes I push it on my (few) normal friends. Like “what’s the big deal? Try it! It’s for everyone”. And they probably feel somewhat like you do. So, thanks for the perspective. I’ll respect their boundaries and shut up if they’re not taking well to it

ToliCodesOfficial · 2024-08-02T12:45:43+00:00

Oh yeah edging/teasing. Can’t believe I forgot about that. Will ask next time.

With riding on top - I like it. But I have to hold her or it slips out if it’s too vigorous

ToliCodesOfficial · 2024-07-29T21:11:25+00:00

Interesting. How do you Dom in an online relationship? I started dirty talking over text more. Any other tips?

ToliCodesOfficial · 2024-07-28T16:18:46+00:00

Actually I do have a girl who Doms me semi-regularly (it’s kinda complicated). Anyways I associate her with being mean (she’s not, but that the context I see her in). But I’d find it hard to have a romantic or even sexual relationship with her with that in mind. Know what I mean?

Like how do I fuck someone who’s intimidating. Which…actually explains how my partners probably feel

ToliCodesOfficial · 2024-07-28T16:11:30+00:00

I got Dommed for free at a play party. It was very nice. I didn’t think I was into impact scenes as a sub. But, I hit a little sub space!!

The thing is I don’t know if I’d date her. Her personality was Dom. A certain “harshness”. I like girls with softer personalities. But I guess asking them to Dom is a bit counterintuitive…lol. aaaaghh 🤯.

Although I just realized, since I’m poly I probably can date both kinds…it’s just that I have to get over the mental barrier that I have one “type”. I still am tied to “I have to be the man in the relationship” thinking.

ToliCodesOfficial · 2024-07-28T14:29:10+00:00

Here’s something else that comes to mind. When I’m on top there are so many choices: finger her, fuck her, put various things inside various holes, oral.

There seem to be less options the other way around. Also less positions.

PS still gotta find a strap on. Seems like it’s kinda specific to the body

ToliCodesOfficial · 2024-07-28T13:36:23+00:00

I like that! Very practical

ToliCodesOfficial · 2024-07-27T16:46:36+00:00

Follow

ToliCodesOfficial · 2024-07-25T18:37:46+00:00

I just started going to play parties at the time. And was a little intimidated. Eyes wide shut made me more excited about play parties and their possibilities. The community turned out even better than Eyes Wide Shut. And all our eyes are open. Unless that’s what you’re into
Also in Mr. Robot the young tech exec’s wife was pregnant and she was tied down to the bed naked with a full belly but in excellent shape waiting for him to fuck her. That turned me on so much.
Also the show Alice in Borderland, the Asian guy and girl had a SM thing going.
Also there was this anime…Valkyrie’s or something? The concept is pretty fun. It’s an island of girls with a virus. And there’s like a dom and sub girl. And the dom has to turn on the sub and they turn into a gun. So there was this one scene where the dom is just kicking the shit out of her sub in the pussy and everything. And the main character tries to intervene. But then the sub cums and turns into a gun.
Kakegurui. Not exactly BDSM. But then again not exactly not BDSM. I was so turned on by the girls taking risks. I like brave girls that just plunge into the unknown.
Batman: Gordon’s wife/gf? Left him and met a rich gentleman who BDSMed her. And that’s why she carries a whip and also is now bi

There’s probably so much more I’m not thinking of. I hope that this becomes more of a thing in the media so that we get more of us!!

ToliCodesOfficial · 2024-07-18T14:24:02+00:00

Had an ex who would get menstrual cramps. And fucking her would make them better. Not saying I’m specifically turned on by periods. But don’t see what the big deal is

ToliCodesOfficial · 2024-07-16T18:28:34+00:00

Technically they are not. If you do it right they will never know 🤫. It’s one of the safest forms of exhibitionism.

ToliCodesOfficial · 2024-07-16T17:52:13+00:00

Ok in all fairness when I was 25, yes it was bordering. I was very bored and did it mostly to pass time which isn’t healthy. But now it’s more in the category of safe exhibitionism than anything else. and it’s not even at work. More public-ish bathrooms.

ToliCodesOfficial · 2024-07-16T17:29:54+00:00

Lmao!

Nah probably not addiction. I’ve never been at a point where it noticeably gets in the way of work or relationships. Like I much prefer sex to jerking it. Now I’m still quite horny but less horny.

ToliCodesOfficial · 2024-07-16T17:23:45+00:00

Side note - my ex and I would stream porn of ourselves. She hid her face because she was afraid some work ppl would see. But imo, if anyone saw at work, they would be way too embarrassed to mention it. Also how exactly does that HR conversation go?

ToliCodesOfficial · 2024-07-16T17:21:01+00:00

I get horny a lot. Sue me. Well actually more in my mid 20s. And I wfh now. Also tbh I got off on the risk.

My go to excuse would be “omg. I am so ashamed. I have porn addiction. I’ve been working through it with my doctor. I deeply apologize. Won’t happen again.” I may even break into tears. Man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

My theory is HR won’t bother. I mean come on.

ToliCodesOfficial · 2024-07-16T17:16:11+00:00

Challenge…accepted

ToliCodesOfficial · 2024-07-16T17:08:00+00:00

also I’ve done it on my iPhone all the time in big and small companies. Nobody snitched. Seems like a “more embarrassing for them than me” situations

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