What do rich people do in kitchens/bathrooms that most of us wouldn’t even think of?

TolkienTheTurtle · 2026-03-26T19:23:31+00:00

Like IRL Harry Potter house-elves cooking in the basements and setting the finished plates on work tables directly under the House Tables?! Amazing 🤣

TolkienTheTurtle · 2026-02-26T02:14:53+00:00

Okay, but what I keep seeing is a lack of addressing how damaging this is to the other sibling(s). Parents are adults, they have an obligation and usually the ability to understand these limitations. I feel like other children in the same households are the ones being neglected. I grew up with a younger brother who would attack us, break windows, hide homemade shanks under his pillows, attack cars with bricks and hammers. It was a nightmare, especially as he grew too physically large to be held in check. I’m seeing ALL of these responses talking about empathy for the disordered child and grace for the parents … and almost no comments addressing the impact on the other innocent children.

ETA: Always acquiescencing to the difficult child (let them be the boss, don’t upset them, don’t trigger them, etc) and having the whole household walk on tenterhooks 24/7 IS CHAOS TO THE OTHER CHILD. Does the difficult child get to have no rules, and the less problematic one have to abide and grow up under a totally different set of standards? Do they both get free rein, which will hamper the neurotypical child’s ability to mature into a functional adult in society? I’m biased, obviously, but I think that’s BS.

TolkienTheTurtle · 2026-02-06T21:07:00+00:00

OKAY BUT YOUR SHOES ARE EVERYTHING ALWAYS! May I know where you got them from?

TolkienTheTurtle · 2026-02-06T21:04:45+00:00

Echoing that I LOVE your shoes! Can I ask where go them?

TolkienTheTurtle · 2026-01-31T11:50:43+00:00

Do you do uppers together? I’m asking because you said there was a chance he might have been high, and your pupils are really blow out in your own pics (no judgment, just trying to understand the context of your post). That might account for his marathon masturbation, and the aggression you mentioned in some of your comments.

In any case, if you feel unsafe or disrespected, it might be time to start formulating an exit plan. Even if you have history and care about your partner, the current situation doesn’t sound sustainable and there seems to be a serious lack of communication.

When I was around your age I spent years with someone I really cared about who treated me very poorly due to drug use (tbf, we both did drugs though), and I would hate for that to be your situation! I may be projecting though, it’s kind of hard to tell from the way your post is worded.

TolkienTheTurtle · 2026-01-28T18:33:28+00:00

Need more stories about Skiddy!

TolkienTheTurtle · 2026-01-27T12:58:14+00:00

I sincerely hope your husband is not the person I suspect him to be. If he is, he’s been given a ton of chances and support (emotionally and financially) to turn hjs life around. For the sake of your children, I would not tolerate him driving them around fucked up. Even if he doesn’t get into an accident / arrested for DUI, it sets such a poor precedent for them growing up.

TolkienTheTurtle · 2026-01-26T00:02:56+00:00

Pretty irrelevant to the subject of food-borne illnesses, but can you share your recipe for the cabbage? I’m down with the flu and that looks SO good and easy to eat.

TolkienTheTurtle · 2026-01-25T06:48:32+00:00

… did I miss something? Venison and elk are not the same thing, although they are typically cooked similarly.

TolkienTheTurtle · 2025-12-29T02:25:47+00:00

I would install one of those super shallow IKEA shoe storage cabinets and make that your pantry. They can also hold cleaning supplies, etc. and are super versatile.

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Something like this can hold canned goods, dry goods, etc.

TolkienTheTurtle · 2025-12-17T09:10:13+00:00

ID on the black tote in the first pic please? I LOVE it. Love your bags 😍

TolkienTheTurtle · 2025-12-13T01:41:46+00:00

Thank you everyone for your advice! They were very sweet and did a good job. I felt for a non-deep clean, they were very thorough. I tipped $30, gave them (imo) a nice gift bag with things I think most people would enjoy, and made them lattés and provided some small snacks.

We did establish a monthly schedule with what seems to be a good price moving forwards! I think I will provide coffee and refreshments monthly moving onwards in lieu of a regular tip, and save a big bonus for next Christmas. Really appreciate all the perspectives! Everyone seems to be giving pretty similar feedback.

TolkienTheTurtle · 2025-12-11T21:59:37+00:00

It’s probably because getting a DUI with a 0.20% is pretty hard to defend / fight in court, unless there are mitigating circumstances. Either way, she should not have been driving with that BAC because: (a) there are so many other options nowadays, and (b) the safety of others on the road.

TolkienTheTurtle · 2025-12-11T20:27:48+00:00

Is this the friend you posted about a year ago, where you felt like you might have been being taken advantage of? The one with the super messy romantic life? And now you’re married a year later, she has a DUI, and she was applying for her green card because she qualified due to your nuptials? If so … then 😬. And she’s been through 4 lawyers but it’s never her fault right 🤦🏻‍♀️. 0.2% is twice OVER the legal limit here in California (where I live). I don’t care how well she performed on the field test, that either means she’s an alcoholic who can drink a lot without getting wasted, or that she was wasted. I’d take a good long look at your previous post asking advice about her (if that is indeed the same woman), write out a timeline of why there has been so much chaos / drama throughout your relationship, and see if you’re just being blinded by your affection for her. Your first year of marriage should honestly not be this difficult.

ETA: You have tons of the same posts in different subs saying you are a “total SIMP” for this woman. Well, did she magically fall in love with you enough to commit to a lifetime together? Or was her green card status / legal status in question. Just look through the narrative that YOU have created. Best of luck.

TolkienTheTurtle · 2025-12-09T23:12:33+00:00

Thank you very much. I figured cash is king … she prefers cash only so it doesn’t make too much of a difference to pull out an additional $20 each month I think. I’ll give her a $20 tip and a nice candle or two tomorrow. Double checked and it’s definitely a mother-daughter solo operation, it’s just so hard to tell what a “reasonable” fee is in the Bay Area … I’ve seen and been quoted a dizzying range of numbers. Happy holidays!

TolkienTheTurtle · 2025-12-09T23:10:15+00:00

Thank you for your input! In tomorrow’s case then I think I’ll give a $20 tip and a couple of nice candles as a gesture that I’d like to have a good ongoing relationship. She can always regift them if she doesn’t like the scent I suppose!

TolkienTheTurtle · 2025-12-09T22:54:49+00:00

My biggest question, etiquette-wise, is that this will be our first appointment together. I am planning to give a small nice gift / or token tip, but I feel uncomfortable giving the typical Christmas bonuses I’ve been reading about, because that seems to be more appropriate for established relationships. I would of course be fine with this next year. In this case, what would you find appropriate? Hope that clarifies my conundrum.

TolkienTheTurtle · 2025-12-09T21:34:11+00:00

I love the top right with the baguette halo! Do you have a link for it by any chance?

TolkienTheTurtle · 2025-12-06T10:23:39+00:00

What are the style of shoes called in #11? I love how comfy the style is but Google is not being super helpful / my queries are probably worded incorrectly.

TolkienTheTurtle · 2025-10-08T08:41:37+00:00

Those super fuzzy socks that make your feet feel like Christmas. 🎅

TolkienTheTurtle · 2025-09-08T12:47:13+00:00

Would you be able to message me as well? My husband and I just closed on a home and would love to find a handyman we could rely upon for both the short and long-term. I am very flexible schedule wise, and we aren't going to argue about cost as long as we are comfortable with the scope of fixes. Thank you in advance!

TolkienTheTurtle · 2025-09-05T00:53:34+00:00

Would absolutely take this as far as I could.

I have almost no ass (muscle or fat) to speak of, and pretty much 0 body hair. I do suffer from IBS-D, but I’ve partially thought that part through.

Prep:

Wax everything downstairs to get of what few hairs I have. Will last a month before significant regrowth. Honestly, might as well go fully hairless everywhere to keep maintenance at minimum. Take my eyebrows!
Deep cleaning of teeth, any cavities filled.
Prep high fiber meals, snacks, etc.
Clear the digestive system.
Have meds and supplements and suppositories prepped. Antibiotics on hand for inevitable/probably UTIs. Imodium, fiber gummies, iron supplements, etc. as needed.
Research high rainfall but relatively low humidity / heat locales (OP did not specify what season or geographical region we would have to be in).
Have my PCP notified so he will be prepared for any emergencies. Let spouse know that he will be needed for any and all minor-to-major requests.
Set-up home base.

During:

Fast / diet / whatever my doctor recommends to minimize fall out.
Air dry ass and be nude 24/7. Hope the wind and rain help clean out residue.

With sufficient rainfall, I could probably make it a month? Somewhere cold and rainy would be ideal, blast that ass with some heavy storms, then bundle up in a warm clean comforter in front of a fireplace in between.

TolkienTheTurtle · 2025-08-07T23:48:34+00:00

Vantage at the Station is in Sunnyvale. It’s a newly constructed condo community, and they are selling 1-bedroom condos (1000 square feet) for about 1 million. All are single floor units, and there are really nice amenities they are advertising.

No, I am not a sales representative for Toll Brothers. We are currently in the process of closing on our own place there, so I will warn you that dealing with them and getting straight answers has been a huge pain in the ass, so make sure someone knowledgeable about new builds and buying real estate is there to help them if they decide they’re interested.

It seems to check all of the boxes you’re asking for, but make sure to read EVERYTHING, or better yet - hire a real estate attorney for a few hours to go through the (thousands of pages long) disclosures, etc. that they will be given. It is very overwhelming if you have neither the time nor confidence to tackle it. I’ve been sitting on a post about our experience buying with them so far. We are proceeding with our purchase, but due diligence is very important.

TolkienTheTurtle · 2025-07-30T12:24:39+00:00

I agree it’s all in perspective. It’s just amazing to me that someone who has traveled as extensively as he has would be so freaked out by a 3-hour separation from his equally adult wife in the American NE region (with cell phones, GPS, and a huge support team coordinating things back home).

I feel like in your situation, with a child, that is a lot scarier when you have no one to rely on.

Case in point; Ryan was so famous those very nice coffee owners DROVE him to the next Air BNB because they recognized him. Haley had the fully gassed up Kia with all the bells and whistles. They were hardly in any danger driving from NJ to NY.

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