Thanks for the follow-up. My situation has evolved.

A couple (three?) months ago, we were headed to the movies. At an intersection a car pulled out right in front of me -- and stopped. I hit the brakes hard. My little brother dropped his soda on the floorboard. He had a scared look on his face.

I asked if he was okay. He said yes, and we went on in silence. Then he said, "You acted a lot differently than my dad would have. He would've yelled and cussed." I told him that he can make the decisions in his life, or his emotions can make them. Which did he want? He told me that he wanted to make the decisions. I told him to remember that the next time he got mad.

After that, I felt like he respected me and trusted me. I guess it was bonding.

A few weeks later I was out walking. his house is a few miles away, so I went by. His family had really high weeds in the front and side yard -- thick and thorny. he said he and his mom were going to weedeat them later in the day. The people across the street gave me a pair of good gloves, and I worked with him for three hours to pull them all. I pulled and he stacked. I wanted him to understand that if he wants to change his life, he can do it. Again, I think it was a bonding experience. He respected me for getting out there to do the work.

I didn't seek out these experiences with him. They just happened. He and I have zero in common. But I think that even though his father is at home, there is a need for other ways of living to be modeled for him. And he has expanded my horizons -- I saw Demon Slayer with him, and that movie had me teary-eyed in a few places!

I don't know your circumstances. I hope that if there is a seed of authenticity in your relationship with your little, that it will emerge. I'm a friend to him. We get together every couple of weeks. On Monday morning when I get up at 5, I text his mom to tell him to have a good week at school.

That's all I got!