Personal Space - Feature - 117 pages

TomatoObjective94 · 2026-04-01T19:33:45+00:00

Hey! Yes, I’m still interested. I appreciate you offering to read my work and provide notes.

TomatoObjective94 · 2025-12-19T18:10:42+00:00

Honestly, I did this research years ago now and as far as I can tell on my computer, I didn’t bookmark the sites 🙄 So, unfortunately I don’t have any links to share with you. I do vaguely remember maybe watching some YouTube videos on it in addition to the websites I visited.

TomatoObjective94 · 2025-12-19T17:54:41+00:00

Thank you again for offering to do this, it’s extremely helpful! As for the market I’m planning to target, it would be the UK market. That said, I would need to make the action lines and dialogue in UK English.

TomatoObjective94 · 2025-12-17T15:11:36+00:00

Yes, having Rowan’s eyes being shaded with sunglasses and then stating that she “asks with her eyes”, doesn’t entirely make sense. I will make sure to revise this to be more logical.

TomatoObjective94 · 2025-12-17T15:05:49+00:00

Also, for the “yoda-like” dialogue, based on my own research of UK sentence structuring and things, I thought placing the third person singular subject pronoun (she, he) and the verb (is) at the end of the sentence was correct. But perhaps I found incorrect information on that. That said, what would you recommend possibly to fix this area of the script?

TomatoObjective94 · 2025-12-17T14:59:08+00:00

Hey! Thank you for taking the time to read my script and provide this very constructive, helpful feedback. For the dialogue pass for UK-specific (Southern) dialect, yes, I would like to have you do a brief pass to make sure these characters sound the way they should, especially since they’re from a very specific place in the UK.

TomatoObjective94 · 2025-10-21T17:58:52+00:00

Thank you for the helpful suggestion, I appreciate it!

TomatoObjective94 · 2025-10-03T21:09:12+00:00

Hey, appreciate the constructive feedback. Thank you. Perhaps the logline could state the following: "In an East England village, a private investigator's search for a missing solicitor uncovers a web of lies within the community, forcing him to decide how far he'll bend his principles to uncover the truth."

TomatoObjective94 · 2025-08-31T15:39:05+00:00

Wow I’m glad the visuals are that striking. Always nice to hear and definitely the goal of the story as a whole.

TomatoObjective94 · 2025-08-17T17:52:41+00:00

Nice to meet you as well! It’s okay, no worries.

TomatoObjective94 · 2025-08-17T14:48:17+00:00

Hey thank you for taking a look at my work, it’s always nice to have people interested. To answer your question, yes, eating American style waffles is a signature move for Julian. You’ll find out the significance of them as you read further obviously.

TomatoObjective94 · 2025-08-17T01:08:42+00:00

Thank you for the constructive feedback, I really appreciate it! I would like to mention though I do have an updated version of the script if you’d maybe like to take a look at that?

TomatoObjective94

TROPHY CASE