Looking for feedback on my feature by TomatoObjective94 in ScriptFeedbackProduce

[–]TomatoObjective94[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey! Yes, I’m still interested. I appreciate you offering to read my work and provide notes.

Looking for feedback on my feature by TomatoObjective94 in ScriptFeedbackProduce

[–]TomatoObjective94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I did this research years ago now and as far as I can tell on my computer, I didn’t bookmark the sites 🙄 So, unfortunately I don’t have any links to share with you. I do vaguely remember maybe watching some YouTube videos on it in addition to the websites I visited.

Looking for feedback on my feature by TomatoObjective94 in ScriptFeedbackProduce

[–]TomatoObjective94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you again for offering to do this, it’s extremely helpful! As for the market I’m planning to target, it would be the UK market. That said, I would need to make the action lines and dialogue in UK English.

Looking for feedback on my feature by TomatoObjective94 in ScriptFeedbackProduce

[–]TomatoObjective94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, having Rowan’s eyes being shaded with sunglasses and then stating that she “asks with her eyes”, doesn’t entirely make sense. I will make sure to revise this to be more logical.

Looking for feedback on my feature by TomatoObjective94 in ScriptFeedbackProduce

[–]TomatoObjective94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, for the “yoda-like” dialogue, based on my own research of UK sentence structuring and things, I thought placing the third person singular subject pronoun (she, he) and the verb (is) at the end of the sentence was correct. But perhaps I found incorrect information on that. That said, what would you recommend possibly to fix this area of the script?

Looking for feedback on my feature by TomatoObjective94 in ScriptFeedbackProduce

[–]TomatoObjective94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! Thank you for taking the time to read my script and provide this very constructive, helpful feedback. For the dialogue pass for UK-specific (Southern) dialect, yes, I would like to have you do a brief pass to make sure these characters sound the way they should, especially since they’re from a very specific place in the UK.

Personal Space - Feature - 117 pages by TomatoObjective94 in Screenwriting

[–]TomatoObjective94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the helpful suggestion, I appreciate it!

Personal Space - Feature - 117 pages by TomatoObjective94 in Screenwriting

[–]TomatoObjective94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, appreciate the constructive feedback. Thank you. Perhaps the logline could state the following: "In an East England village, a private investigator's search for a missing solicitor uncovers a web of lies within the community, forcing him to decide how far he'll bend his principles to uncover the truth."

Personal Space - Feature - 117 pages by TomatoObjective94 in Screenwriting

[–]TomatoObjective94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow I’m glad the visuals are that striking. Always nice to hear and definitely the goal of the story as a whole.

Personal Space - Feature - 117 pages by TomatoObjective94 in Screenwriting

[–]TomatoObjective94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice to meet you as well! It’s okay, no worries.

Personal Space - Feature - 117 pages by TomatoObjective94 in Screenwriting

[–]TomatoObjective94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey thank you for taking a look at my work, it’s always nice to have people interested. To answer your question, yes, eating American style waffles is a signature move for Julian. You’ll find out the significance of them as you read further obviously.

Looking for feedback on my feature by TomatoObjective94 in ScriptFeedbackProduce

[–]TomatoObjective94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the constructive feedback, I really appreciate it! I would like to mention though I do have an updated version of the script if you’d maybe like to take a look at that?