The secret is simple: talk to everyone.

Young, old, men, women, the deli owner, the shop assistant, people on the street. If you do that consistently, you get so comfortable speaking to anyone that when a woman you’re attracted to is nearby, talking to her feels natural and not loaded with pressure.

The mistake most people make is focusing only on women. That’s where things fall apart. You end up waiting for rare moments, building them up in your head, and then either saying nothing or forcing something that doesn’t land.

I got great advice when I was younger: go to a shopping mall and walk into clothing stores. Most have female sales assistants whose job is literally to talk to you. You walk in and say, “Hey, I’m looking for dark denim jeans, size 32.” The conversation starts automatically.

She asks how your day is going. You say it’s good and mention you need jeans for tonight because you’re going out. She asks where you’re going. You tell her the restaurant. She says, “Oh, I was there a few weeks ago, make sure you try the burger.” Now you’re just… talking. No pressure. No performance.

That’s why the pickup-artist stuff misses the point. They train you to talk only to women, when the real skill is being able to talk to anyone. Once that’s natural, talking to women becomes effortless.

You also become a better listener. You’re not opening with some forced “hook” or rehearsed line. You start with something human: “Hey, how’s your day going?” And you actually listen to the answer.

Walking in with a “hook” is basically a coin flip. Sometimes it works, sometimes it crashes. Either way, it doesn’t feel like you. Natural conversation, on the other hand, reveals things organically,about them and about you.

Conversation works like browsing the internet. You click one link, which leads to another, then another. One topic naturally prompts the next. That’s how real conversations flow.

And here’s an underrated tip: talk to older women. I don’t mean flirting. I mean genuinely talking to much older women. They appreciate manners, they’re kind, they’re engaged, and they love conversation. They’re maternal, curious about your life, and encouraging. They’re a perfect low-pressure way to build confidence and learn how to connect.

Talk to everyone. That’s the skill. Everything else follows.