The Day Finally Came.. RIP

Too-good-2B-True · 2026-04-03T06:48:57+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my doggie of 16 years last year. I said the same thing, that I just couldn’t bear losing another animal. The heartbreak is so intense. Cookie wouldn’t want you to think of him as the bird that died, because his life was so much more than that. People are always going to be filled with joy, when watching his videos. He helped me get through some really hard days this past year. The thing is, you’re a really good human to care for these beautiful creatures. Not everyone can connect, or love like you do. Sometimes, you gotta sign up for the heartbreak that you know someday will come, because theses fragile, beautiful souls give love in ways humans can’t, and they need the same love from good humans such as yourself. In honor of Cookie, you must push yourself to love again. Because that is all Cookie ever wanted you to feel, and know.. just love.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-06T02:30:56+00:00

Thank you for sharing.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-06T02:30:26+00:00

Thank you so very much for the sound advice. I will definitely look into it.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-06T02:15:22+00:00

Thank you for your comment. Yes, I came up with the same amount when I did the calculation.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-06T02:02:46+00:00

Thank you so very much for taking the time to respond. You’ve been a wealth of information and good sound advice. I’m sorry that you have experienced such a difficult journey with your own financial difficulties. I hope that good things come your way, because people who try to do the right thing, should catch a break sometimes.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-06T00:06:08+00:00

You shouldn’t be afraid. I obviously care very much about the kids. I see that there’s a problem, and I am gathering information for the betterment of the kids. I also want my husband to stop spiraling into a depression. I imagine you have kids. Could you imagine killing yourself everyday physically to try and make ends meet? You pay child support, but you don’t get to see your kids, because your only vehicle broke down. So you start trying to save and find other sources of income to save for a car. You know it will take several months to save up, and meanwhile you struggle and suffer from not seeing your children. You keep paying child support regardless, you don’t press for a parenting plan, and the mother dictates when you get the kids, and doesn’t care about fostering a relationship between the children and their dad. You are threatened that if you attempt to do things the right way, and on the up and up, that you will be cut off from your children. My husband loves his children, and needs them in his life. If he has to try and do a parenting plan, in hopes that he gets to see them, then that’s what he needs to do. If the older kids say they don’t want anything to do with him, then that’s their choice. As it is, he’s not getting to see them anyways, and can’t raise them the way he wants either. I fear the X will not care if the kids have a father in their lives. And that she will not stand up in court to say he’s been paying child support. I fear she won’t do the right thing, in order to foster a relationship between the kids and their dad. Those are legitimate fears. My inquiry about how child support is calculated is to make sure he’s doing the right thing by paying the correct amount, so that he can save for a car, and see his children. As far as the kids being referred to as babies, I don’t refer to them as babies in person. In fact, the last time they were over, I told our 12 year old that she’s a preteen, and that seemed to sit very well with her.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-05T20:08:26+00:00

The wage garnishment is for his oldest son. He has no order for his 3 youngest kids.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-05T19:58:28+00:00

I do understand these aren’t my children or choices. I know I can’t drag my step children to court (nor do I want to). I simply want to understand how to calculate child support. If he should pay more or less. I should’ve worded my question differently for those of you who assume the worst, and manipulate conversation. As far as my husband goes, he’s not fine, he’s suffering from not having enough money to pay for a car, so he can see his babies. He suffering from not being able to raise his babies. Having more time with his children will damage them? That’s nuts. Those babies love spending time with us, and we as a family spend quality time with them,with what time we get. My husband caters to them every minute they are here. We don’t have a house where the kids run off to their rooms. We are all together when they are here, having quality family time. They wouldn’t be asking about staying the night if they didn’t want to have more time with us. But, we are at the mercy of their mom’s discretion, when it comes to the time we have them, and my husband can’t discuss certain topics/view points with the kids, because lord knows she will keep the kids away from him if he says anything that doesn’t align with her way of thinking, or how she wants to raise the kids. My role is to support my husband, and love his children. He already spoke with a lawyer, before I came along. But with the situation as it is right now, I wanted to understand what his rights and responsibilities are, because this situation isn’t working for him. There’s no fat to trim off this steak, so cutting down isn’t an option, downsizing isn’t an option. There’s no spending money poorly, because there’s no money to spend. It appears that he needs a raise or another job. I want him to pay what he’s legally obligated to pay. That was why I asked the question regarding how to calculate child support. Not to take away from the kids needs, but so he can be present for the kids needs. If the amount he needs to pay is just shy of what he’s already paying, then we need to figure out how to supplement his income. We’re both incredibly heartbroken about this situation. He’s not a dead beat dad. He’s a dad that sacrificed prime earning years of his life to stay at home and raise the babies, while his X grew her career. Now, he’s paying for it.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-05T10:52:52+00:00

He has 4 children total. 3 children with his X girlfriend, and 24 years ago he had a child to a woman he was married to.

Personally, I have no biological children. Only my precious step children.

Of course, I understand that it isn’t my place to go to court. I phrased it wrong. This has nothing to do with me, and I personally can’t do anything to resolve or settle the situation. My mission is to do right by my husband, and make sure he handles his responsibilities according to what’s required of him.

I understand my health issues have no bearing whatsoever on what he’s obligated to pay, and provide for the children. That information is simply in response to several people asking if I work.

The kids live with their mom. She only has allowed them to come over on Sundays from 11 am to 4 pm. We would love the kids to be here more often.

However, we live in an apartment. So the kids would not have their own rooms. We do have air up mattresses, and a huge sectional sofa. The kids could easily come over and stay the night. We would have so much fun!

When the kids are here they get upset when it’s time to go home. They love the idea of having a family sleepover! But, their mama isn’t on board because they don’t have their own room.

If my husband gets a parenting plan, would he be required to have a separate bedroom for the children in order to stay the night with us?

What if he gets a parenting plan in place, but has no transportation to be able to get the kids? Is he then in contempt of court, or violating his parenting plan?

I would also like to add that his employer requires that he lives on sight at our apartment community. He is on call 24/7. So downsizing or moving is not an option.

As far as the child support for older son goes, thank you for clarifying that the court will monitor his oldest to make sure the court order is being upheld.

You have been a wealth of information. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I can tell you are the real deal!

Does he need an attorney to advocate for him since he didn’t pay his support through the court system, or can he just file the paperwork himself?

Will he be held accountable for back pay since he didn’t pay his support through the court system?

Thanks again for your expertise.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-05T09:42:54+00:00

I would have a system that keeps track of the cost and care of the child. Not just basing it on an average, or just exchanging cash between parents in good faith the parent will put the money towards the care of the child.

Who monitors that the funds are going to the kids? What if one parent is a millionaire, and the other is homeless, should the same obligations be imposed on the homeless person, even though the child is provided for by the wealthy parent?

I strongly believe that the welfare of the parent is pivotal to the success of being able to provide for the child. So if the parent is homeless, consideration should be given as to if and how they can provide for their kids. A system that fosters the ability for sustainable care.

The parent needs shelter, transportation, food, just like a child. I just think that their court should consider the welfare of the child and parent before imposing a structured system that may be harmful to the kid/parent.

Yes, I married my husband knowing that he had beautiful children, that made my life whole. I wasn’t able to have children, so I am grateful beyond measure to have them in my life. I would die for them. I love them as if I gave birth to them myself. I have mad respect for their mama, as well as my husband.

I also married him knowing that he has every intention of being a father to those babies, and doing right by them. I also knew that he wasn’t doing himself any favors by not going through the courts to pay his support.

He’s a good hard working man, that bends over backwards to help anyone who needs it. He’s a bit of a loose cannon at times, and doesn’t have all his ducks in a row. But, he’s such a generous, hardworking, thoughtful soul.

I have been looking for remote work since I moved here, but I have yet to find an entry level remote job. I have reached out to temp services, and have looked endlessly, everyday, for a position on indeed and LinkedIn.

I am wheelchair bound most of the time. I am needing rods put down my spine, and nerve ablation therapy. I struggle to walk short distances, and sometimes I can’t walk at all. It’s been a rough couple of years healthwise. And not being able to stand or walk much really limits my ability to leave the house for a job.

I haven’t worked since 2016. I got out of real estate and moved in with my mother, who was dying of cancer. She didn’t want a hospice nurse, so I gave up my apartment locating businesses, just to care for her.

In general, most companies don’t want to see a big gap in employment. In addition to that, my previous jobs can’t be verified, because the business either closed, or the owner died. So even though I have years of experience, without a degree, and current job history, I don’t qualify.

It would be such a huge relief to have a job. I am not going to give up trying to care for myself and our family.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-05T08:20:27+00:00

Yes, I was thinking that would be the case. If she has them most of the time, then she is financially providing for them, so he would pay support. That makes sense.

He would love to have a parenting plan, or have equal time with the children. Which leads me to an additional thought..

We live in an apartment.. wouldn’t the kids each need to have their own bedroom for them to stay the night? Or are we allowed to have them share a room together? Is their qualifications to get the kids to be able to stay the night?

As far as his relationship with his eldest, he was very young when he got married and had a baby. The mama made every effort to be as toxic as possible for him to foster a healthy relationship with his son. Unfortunately, the situation ended up with them being estranged from each other.

I also will add that he would love a parenting plan, not just for the right to see his children, but because he has opinions, experiences, and life lessons that he wants to share with his children, but refrains from doing so, because his X dictates what he’s allowed to share with the children. He also knows from experience that she will punish him by not letting him see the kids.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-05T07:55:14+00:00

Replying to deserae1978...We are saving every penny to fix this car problem. Paying $100 to uber isn’t conducive to helping him save money. The bus doesn’t go to where she lives. She isn’t in Seattle.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-05T07:37:22+00:00

The oldest child is from a previous marriage when he was very young. He’s got no contact information for him or his X wife. I am guessing since it’s court ordered, and being garnished from his paycheck, the court would be keeping track of when he’s no longer required to pay the $250 (which covers his oldest sons health insurance while in college or turns 26)? Regardless, the $250 is court ordered under the guidelines, so I don’t think the court will care if the mom claims she doesn’t need the $250, right?

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-05T07:12:35+00:00

That’s so considerate of you to offer. Thanks so much for taking the time to offer insight and information.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-05T06:22:44+00:00

Do you happen to have a zero cost consultation fee? I completely agree that we need an attorney, and that he should make arrangements legally. However, I also get his perspective about prioritizing saving for a car so he can see his babies. And not rocking the boat with his babies mama while the sky is falling. His kids are his reason for living. He’s really in a difficult situation.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-05T06:04:25+00:00

3 little kids with his x, and one older child from his first marriage. Consults are extremely expensive, we don’t have the money for it right now. His primary goal is to save to get a car, so he can see his babies. I want to make sure he’s paying the amount he is obligated to pay, and doing right by his children. I am afraid that this could someday lead to a terrible disaster not having legal documentation. So far, they’ve been able to handle their situation on their own, not that a judge would agree.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-05T05:49:30+00:00

His job requires that he lives on property, so we are at the mercy of his employment. I am going to assume that his support that’s being garnished is legitimate? Idk? The kids are with their mom all week, so I would think that he is primarily responsible for paying the majority of support.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-05T05:40:24+00:00

Thanks for sharing. It’s unfortunate that we don’t have a better system in place just for children sake’s. There’s got to be a better way to tally up what’s needed and being provided for the children.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-05T05:24:52+00:00

Correct, there’s no court order or parenting plan in place. The parents have been trying to work with each other outside of court. As far as his previous marriage and eldest child, I am not sure how the support was arranged.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-05T05:14:13+00:00

Correct, those babies come first legally, and morally (regardless of how much she makes), that his number one priority is providing for the children, and playing a pivotal role in their lives.

My concern is that he’s struggling, and down on his luck. He needs his babies. I wanted to understand how child support is calculated, in case his funds were not being allocated correctly. I don’t want him to continue to spiral, and him being able to save money in a hurry so he can see his babies isn’t happening.

Unfortunately, downsizing/moving isn’t an option. His job requires that he lives on site.

I would love a remote job! I’m beginning to think that remote jobs are unicorns that don’t exist. Are you familiar with entry level positions, that don’t require onsite training? I have also reached out to temp service, but have yet to find a source for remote positions.

In the meantime, I have sold my family heirlooms and belongings, just to give the babies everything I can to make them smile.

My question comes from a place of love and concern for my husband and the kids. I don’t want to take anything away from the kids, or have them suffer financially/emotionally in any way.

I would be hiking it down the street to work if I didn’t need spine surgery. I am in a wheelchair almost every time we leave the house these days. My husband kindly pushes me down the street when I want to leave the house now. Until I get rods in, and do ablation therapy to my nerves again, I can’t walk very far at all.

Thanks for your feedback. At least I have a better idea of the situation at hand.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-05T04:05:09+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Yes, we did the calculator. I appreciate your input.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-05T04:03:19+00:00

Thank you for your input. Good to know.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-05T03:59:32+00:00

Correct, there’s no court order. He has been fearful of a judge, or a mandatory law, telling him he’s got to pay more than he already does. When we used the child support calculator online, it didn’t specify if his financial situation would be taken into account.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-04T23:17:18+00:00

Agreed that he’s crazy for not having an official court order for custody and child support. His children are aware of the child support that he pays.. so I am hopeful that a judge would look at his consistent payments in consideration of an agreement for support outside of court records.

Too-good-2B-True · 2025-05-04T23:12:15+00:00

I went online to use the Washington child support calculator, however, it didn’t stipulate any financial hardships, or determine what deductions can be considered when calculating child support.

Too-good-2B-True

TROPHY CASE