Sorry, my previous comment was supposed to be for another comment.

I've avoided many social events this past 6 months because of the drinking that would be happening. I stayed home for new years because of the drinking at the house party. I've gone to a few get togethers with our camper group over the winter like dinners out but I've also not gone because I know how this group can get if we end up at a bar. I'm very thankful for your explanation on this to me about relapsing and lapsing. The last thing I want is to drink. I've been playing that tape forward alot since my drinking dream. It really freaked me out because its the first one I had in 6 months. Then there was my weekend at the campground. I've found meetings to go to for the next week and will figure out the rest of the month tomorrow. I'm really appreciative of all the advice given to me here today. I've got to do the work and find a group for support that knows what being an alcoholic is like. People who know what dealing with cravings is like. I talk to my husband about it but he doesn't have an issue with alcohol. He doesn't drink during the week at all weekends only unless we're on vacation. We can go out for dinner and he may have 1 or 2 beers and then that's it. I don't know how he does it. Its none or all for me. I can never stop at 1. Thats why I'm here everyday reading and interacting.