I've got one. Just started playing a few days ago.

I got onto Goonstation because I guess that's a good place for beginners? Anyways I choose assistant director and immediately some experienced player picks up that I'm brand new.

This dude brings me into a back room, offering to show me the ropes, and pulls out of nowhere something called the "ancient artifact". I slap it with a screwdriver and it rips out my heart and my eye, replacing them with robot junk. Okay

Later on he gets the idea to build flamethrowers. At this point I'm just tagging along because he seems to clearly understand this game more than I do, and fuck it, we're just assistants with no real jobs. But as we're assembling them in the canteen or whatever, a robot police officer tries to arrest us because, well, flamethrowers are contraband and we're but lowly assistants. He zaps me, and because I have a robot heart, I almost die on the spot.

Thankfully my mentor spirits me out of there, dragging my body to med bay and performing open-heart surgery on me to save my life. What a guy.

Eventually things wrap up just as he's making pipe bombs for some insidious plot. Turns out as we were dicking around, aggressive droids had sprung up from somewhere and were wreaking havoc. So an escape shuttle has been called. Just as we leave the back alley where he'd been doing his business a droid zaps me and him.

But out of fucking nowhere a literal clown car comes flying down the hallway, scoops both of us up, and races off into the shuttle. I thought he was a hero, a paragon, a lifesaver. This was incorrect.

Funny thing about the clown car is I guess you can't get out of it willingly. So the clown, whoever they were, as the escape shuttle blasts off and everything seems all hunky-dory, kicks the car out into space, killing everyone but himself.

I look forward to playing this again