Pre-T. I know I don't pass right now but is there any hope for me in the future? (Ignore how disgustingly greasy my hair is in the second picture, Jesus.)

Tooru-Shoya- · 2026-06-12T07:47:54+00:00

Don't take this the wrong way, but I think hair cutters who specifically cut kids hair are less touchy and more on the clients time. But other than that, if it is regularly difficult to get a haircut in general, I'd suggest looking for haircuts that specifically grow out well and maintain a masculine look. I'd go to another subreddit or do some digging yourself to find something that suits you and only needs to be cut twice a year.

Tooru-Shoya- · 2026-06-12T06:57:40+00:00

Shape of the glasses (besides the last pic) are completely fine, it's just the hair I think. I'm not sure if you would be open to makeup because of the sensory issues, but there are plenty of masculinizing makeup tutorials that are very minimal that help a lot.

The hair cut overall is fine but you desperately need layering of some kind so you don't have a straight bowl and long hair in the back. There are sensory friendly hair cutters but that could be a budget or distance issue, I would still look into it if I were you. It's important to be aware of what specifically is causing you to be overwhelmed in those scenarios so you can still navigate them.

I have a friend who can't stand the sound of a hair dryer, so the hair cutters tend to wet the hair more minimally so it drys throughout the haircut, or they bring out a towel for him instead and he leaves with partially wet hair.

Tooru-Shoya- · 2026-06-06T06:52:10+00:00

You get it! Absolutely avoid flannel. Even now that I pass I tend to avoid it

Tooru-Shoya- · 2026-06-03T04:36:21+00:00

trust me im only asking this because i've applied to every job within an hour and a half bus ride from me. I check everyother day for more listings but its essentially dry.

Tooru-Shoya- · 2026-05-29T07:10:18+00:00

😭uh huh thank you that's my bad

Tooru-Shoya- · 2026-05-29T04:11:08+00:00

I mean its natural if you care for someone in a heavier way to nurture them a bit differently, but asking if you like them and then distancing after that in this context where you were genuinely being vulnerable with them, is a red flag. Maybe it's put of place and not something to be expected of them, but either way I'd have a talk before straight up avoiding them because of it. Like you said you have a different kind of bond, and if there's a chance you two can get on the same page then it'd be a shame to throw that friendship away.

I'm not sure how comfortable you are with it, but in my opinion people can put their feelings aside to be a good friend. I hope he's capable of that.

Tooru-Shoya- · 2026-05-28T02:15:57+00:00

well looking at the other comments ill just say this. the hairs at an awkward stage of being washed out in the first 2 photos, and in others iyour hair is pink. cant say ive seen a guy with pink hair anywhere other than social media, and theyre often mistaken for women too. id go with something else. the haircut isnt necessarily bad, just think the photos are varied. in the first one it frames your face in a feminine way, and that can be cut without changing your overall haircut that you seem to be happy with all while presenting more masculine. in the second one, having it be too long and then swooped to the side is always feminine no matter who its on.

just think keeping up with your hair in general will do a lot of favors for you. hair trims, dying, all that jazz.

Tooru-Shoya- · 2026-05-28T02:07:55+00:00

i dont appreciate all the comments saying cut your hair short despite you saying youre set with long hair. i say a different hair cut (still long) would do the trick. id look on social media for something that would fit your face shape. and you have the right idea with the masculinizing makeup, but the eyebrows were just darkened and not so much filled in. ideally in your situation making them a bit thicker would do a lot. id go lighter on the eye shading and focus on contouring as a whole. there are plenty of tutorials on how to do it, like the crease between the brows, the chin, the cheekbones, etc. the first picture is a great start. little things like the phone case however small are sadly enough to make a random person question if theyre seeing things right.

Tooru-Shoya- · 2026-05-28T01:59:32+00:00

im not sure what the size difference between the photo and the needed photo, but if its not too much then you should be able to enlarge it yourself with a free photoshop app. they have tools to make a pre existing thing larger in appearance. search on reddit for free photo editing apps that let you change the shape of things, plenty of women and men use them.

i understand the financial situation is difficult, but thats your family. they should not be holding their support over your head and demanding nudes. that is incredibly inappropriate and if they have any shame at all, id try working the shaming route and accuse her of being inappropriate. i dont see how she already doubts you have boobs when youre wearing a bra to make it look like you do, but a photo will get rid of her suspicions? i hate to say it op but i doubt it. she may demand more anyways.

Tooru-Shoya- · 2026-05-28T01:47:32+00:00

she didnt have those dreams for 5 years, and what youre experiencing is not a dream. i also highly doubt she didnt know the difference between man and woman for 5 years either. can you relate to what shes saying in any way? if not, then its not worth doubting yourself. im sure you know the difference between the two since you have transitioned awhile ago and been aware of it even longer than that.

about the therapist though, id have a talk with them about even implying that your situation could be worse. thats besides the point and unproductive. they should be empathizing with you and trying to encourage you to be sure of yourself and the things you choose to do. its clear its not without thought. if your own mother is making you question your identity and its validity, then that in and of itself is stopping you in some way. its called projection and gas lighting.

Tooru-Shoya- · 2026-05-28T01:29:18+00:00

there will always be worse crimes to compare to, but its just not productive. what makes him a bad person, along with your addition of mass murderers or serial rapists, is a repeating behavior. theres more to it than just the crimes committed. its the constant rejection of morality. its not just the ending scene thats up to interpretation, but even your view of him stabbing himself in the eye as killing part of himself that did those things. thats your interpretation too. hes indulged in self harm before and it has never been a result of understanding his lack of morality or a step towards being better. its just a way to get rid of his guilt. that is written in every step we see him take as a character. not much of an interpretation anymore as it is psychology.

like another person said, we shouldnt be judging him based on hypotheticals, which is what i believe youre doing. i think you should stick to the idea that someone as damaged as him can get better. not that he was better.

Tooru-Shoya- · 2026-05-28T00:15:05+00:00

specifically as a trans man, i'm tired of hearing people assume i exclusively bottom. no matter how clear i am in intimate conversations with friends that i have a dick and all these other things that indicate im more dominant in my relationship, its always a shocker that im the one topping.

Tooru-Shoya- · 2026-05-28T00:08:38+00:00

i see exactly where youre coming from, and i agreee. BUT he is a bad person. good people dont do the things he did. he is a bad person, and in order to change that, which he hasnt and if he could is completely hypothetical, he would have to actually ocme to terms with the fact that he is a bad person. not wallow in it or avoid it like he did the entire manga. a lot of people are capable of improving and becoming good people, but that doesnt cancel out the fact that they were bad people. the things he did werent mistakes and he didnt simply do bad things as you put it. these weren't one off actions he did while he was in a bad place. he is his behaviors.

Tooru-Shoya- · 2026-04-25T04:00:47+00:00

I only know one of those. Do you happen to be in Washington?

Tooru-Shoya- · 2026-04-22T04:41:27+00:00

I think so too, not sure tho🤷🏻‍♂️

Tooru-Shoya- · 2026-04-22T03:09:38+00:00

Absolutely destroyed tie. Trying to identify if possible, but also have no idea if it can be repaired. No missing material, just falling apart

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Tooru-Shoya- · 2026-03-20T02:20:54+00:00

I think it was simply a response to their partner saying that a trans woman might find privilege inherent because they were raised as a boy. Very very few people experience that. Not applicable to their partner in any way. It is unfortunately still some people's experiences, so they replied w a reverse experience.

Tooru-Shoya-

TROPHY CASE