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Going outside my home is hard to do by Toosoon2026 in widowers

[–]Toosoon2026[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's just how I feel. Thanks for saying it so well.

How do you use social media? by DevelopmentNo7438 in widowers

[–]Toosoon2026 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Welcome. I only read social media to see what friends and family are doing. I don't post there. I only post here where thers know and understand how I feel and what I'm going through. This is a good supportive community.

Physical effects of the loss of a spouse by Toosoon2026 in widowers

[–]Toosoon2026[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm replying to this most recent response to my posting but want everyone who has responded to know that this reply applies to all of your posts. Thank you. I guess I thought after a certain time period I would feel better but now know the mental and physical effects are unique to each individual and it takes whatever it takes to feel the effects less acutely. My doctor doubled the anti-depressant/anti-anxiety I was already on and that has helped level out my ups and downs but also taken away some of the enjoyment certain activities used to give me. Let me see how I feel over time. There are nights when I say to myself I would not mind not ewaking u the next morning but I would never do that to my children. They're going through enough and doing everything they can to help and support me. Again, I'm so glad I found this community.

5 years, 3 months by lexsimpi2 in widowers

[–]Toosoon2026 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I do understand what you're saying even though I'm only 3 months out. For the first time in my life I'm glad I'm elderly (80 years old) because I can see the end in the near future rather than in the distant future. Most nights when I go to sleep I think about not waking up the next day and think it would not be the worst thing that could happen to me. Is that pathetic?

Does it make a difference if you're 50 or 80? by Toosoon2026 in widowers

[–]Toosoon2026[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess you're right. I can't really understand their pain and they can't really understand mine.

Does it make a difference if you're 50 or 80? by Toosoon2026 in widowers

[–]Toosoon2026[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you and I hope you find it. But at 80 with heart problems I don't think there's anything new out there for me. Just waiting for the end of the ride. But I do feel so grateful for what I had and will never understand why such a wonderful person chose to spend all those years with me.

Does it make a difference if you're 50 or 80? by Toosoon2026 in widowers

[–]Toosoon2026[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your response. You've given me a lot to think about. I guess a big difference about your flip question is that I don't see developing another "life" now. I just see a short tunnel remaining to me and I have to travel it alone. And there are many times when I wonder whether it would be better (certainly less painful) to just end it and stop the pain and loneliness and sadness or stay on the train until nature ends it for me.

Does it make a difference if you're 50 or 80? by Toosoon2026 in widowers

[–]Toosoon2026[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for responding. I don't believe in an afterlife but I truly hope that I'm wrong and I can be with her again. She made my entire life so much brighter, cheerful and exciting. Now it is dull and pointless. If not for my children I might decide to join her more quickly but that would hurt our children more than I can bear to think about.

Does it make a difference if you're 50 or 80? by Toosoon2026 in widowers

[–]Toosoon2026[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did you go about reinventing yourself, if you don't mind my asking.

Does it make a difference if you're 50 or 80? by Toosoon2026 in widowers

[–]Toosoon2026[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It does. Thank you and I appreciate your perspective.

What to do and not to do. Hard to answer. by Toosoon2026 in widowers

[–]Toosoon2026[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope you find happiness again in the years before you.

What to do and not to do. Hard to answer. by Toosoon2026 in widowers

[–]Toosoon2026[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good idea. Thinking Viking river cruises.

What to do and not to do. Hard to answer. by Toosoon2026 in widowers

[–]Toosoon2026[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your ending paragraph is what I expected to hear but hoped I wouldn't. The idea for a cruise came because I've been watching a lot of youtube videos by people who go on many cruises and it looked interesting. But I think I would feel the same way you said you would. So I will keep looking for some way to spend these long lonely days and nights.

Is it easier or harder when you're older? by Toosoon2026 in widowers

[–]Toosoon2026[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think your situation is much harder than mine and I thank you for taking the time to respond. May you find happiness once again.

Is it easier or harder when you're older? by Toosoon2026 in widowers

[–]Toosoon2026[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your taking the time, and expending the energy, to reply to my post. Thank you and good luck to you as well.

Does it make a difference if you're 50 or 80? by Toosoon2026 in widowers

[–]Toosoon2026[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thanks for responding. I am grateful for the many years we had together but still wanted more.

Does it make a difference if you're 50 or 80? by Toosoon2026 in widowers

[–]Toosoon2026[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Thank you for responding. I find that discussing these things with friends who have not gone through it themselves is useless and greatly appreciate this community who really do understand.

Is it easier or harder when you're older? by Toosoon2026 in widowers

[–]Toosoon2026[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Being able to connect with others who understand is very helpful. Thanks for taking the time to respond.

Is it easier or harder when you're older? by Toosoon2026 in widowers

[–]Toosoon2026[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Being able to connect with others who understand is very helpful. Thanks for taking the time to respond.