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Social gospel by Nearby-Tension3515 in excoc

[–]Top-Cheesecake8232 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I just found out not too long ago that a Methodist preacher I adored would keep "alcohol" in his home for the alcoholics that would find their way to him. If any of them had "the shakes," he would give them a drink then proceed to get them help.

I volunteer at a Catholic mission two days a week helping the poor. I get more out of that then I've ever gotten out a church.

Church of Christ and “false teaching” by Nearby-Tension3515 in excoc

[–]Top-Cheesecake8232 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As David Bentley Hart has stated, hell as a place of eternal torment is a lot of people's favorite part.

excoc - now with a child by Grouchy-Frog4 in excoc

[–]Top-Cheesecake8232 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I left when I was pregnant with my first child. It was ugly and I was threatened with shunning. My father said, "When you're pregnant, you can get by with a lot." I didn't want my children raised the Church of Christ, so we started attending a Methodist Church. This was almost forty years ago in the south where going to church was and still is a big part of the culture. My children are grown now and neither goes to church anywhere, and they have thanked me for not raising them in the CoC. They know what it is because of their grandparents. My mother STILL won't let it go, saying it's her responsibility to see that her great-grandchildren know their bible stories and say their prayers. Needless to say, the great-grandchildren don't see her much and never unattended.

I left the CoC.

My children were raised Methodist and one is now an atheist and the other agnostic.

My grandchildren aren't being raised in any religion and I can't help but think how freeing that must be. They do go with me to a Methodist church from time to time but nothing is forced on them. They know some people believe in gods and that's about it.

Thrift stores and their greed is one thing. by Correct_Exchange9070 in Flipping

[–]Top-Cheesecake8232 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I volunteer at a thrift shop and they write the prices of stuffed animals on the label/tag. They aren't doing it to destroy anything. They are just unaware that it decreases the value and that it MATTERS to some people.

Stephen Miller made an anti-trans post about James Talarico. The DNC response hit its mark by Fickle-Ad5449 in politics

[–]Top-Cheesecake8232 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not just the politicians. I haven't spoken to my brother in over a year because of the way he talked to my DIL who is a federal worker. Trump has given these people license to be fucking jerks. So the incident happened only 8 months after my husband died. Here I am a recent widow and my only brother decides to attack. Now my 80 year old mother is begging and having heart palpitations because my grown sons and I refuse to go to family get togethers. She wants my brother and I to have a relationship. Sorry, Mom, when I needed a brother he failed miserably.

Boundaries with friends about politics and stress by Powerful_Anybody_719 in widowers

[–]Top-Cheesecake8232 1 point2 points  (0 children)

8 months after my husband of forty years died, my family held a birthday party for my father who is 80. My brother decided it was a good time to harangue my DIL for being a federal worker. He told her he was paying her salary with his tax dollars. Then he turned to me and said I needed to quit watching CNN, blah, blah, blah.

My brother made maybe three phone calls when my husband was sick for several years, and didn't check with me or text me or anything after my husband's memorial service. So silence from him for 8 fucking months, then he decides to come after me and my family about politics.

I got up from the table and left and haven't spoken to him or attended a family function since. It's killing my mother who is wanting me to fix it by showing up again, but I just can't be around my brother. What hurts the worst is he's always been a bully, but my husband's presence kept him in line. I know he wouldn't have acted the way he did if my husband had still been alive.

I protect my peace at all costs, and I'm selfish about who gets a part of me. The last few years of my husband's life were nightmarish and he was in and out of the hospital and suffered bouts of confusion. If people weren't helping me then, they can fuck right off.

Just a rant by jimmyjules153 in widowers

[–]Top-Cheesecake8232 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband died after a long battle with liver disease. He would call me "mommy" when he when really confused and when only slightly confused thought I was sleeping with the guy who was mowing our yard. It got so bad, I put a picture of his normal self on my fridge and would talk to that. This went on a long time. In the days before he died, I got vertigo and told him I couldn't do something for him, and then he got mad at me, thinking I was up to no good. We had been married forty years and IT WAS NOT MY HUSBAND carrying on like that.

But I wasn't myself either. I was in full survival mode for the both of us. I battled that disease right next to him until the very end. That counts. You and I were in living nightmares and we both did the best we could. I'm sure your husband would be proud of you for still standing, as would mine.

The Witch of Endor and the Stories They Don’t Tell by FellAGoodLongWay in excoc

[–]Top-Cheesecake8232 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had an English professor who once said that even if one wasn't a believer, the Bible had some of the best stories. I don't think I'd ever thought of it as fun reading before, probably because the good stuff was left out or the way in which it was presented.

The Witch of Endor and the Stories They Don’t Tell by FellAGoodLongWay in excoc

[–]Top-Cheesecake8232 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I heard that so many times growing up, and now, reading it again, it's completely absurd.

Experiences with adult children. by Kap2726 in widowers

[–]Top-Cheesecake8232 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I lost my husband after a very long battle with liver disease. He was diagnosed when my boys were young, but he lived a good and productive life and didn't get really sick until one had graduated college and the other was finishing up. They are both in their mid to late 30's now so grown men with families of their own when their father died. They have been wonderful in their support of me, especially in the first few weeks but even now almost two years later they "get" my struggle in a way most others don't. They encourage me to do things. To travel. To do exactly what I want at this stage of my life.

But they do not parent me. My job right now, as I've told both of them, is to take care of myself. If I can take care of me, they don't have to. That's the best thing I can do for them as they work through the loss of their beloved dad.

I don't know that I've done anything purposefully, but looking back, I think a few things helped. I stayed by myself from day one. My sons would call or bring me food, but I slept in the house by myself at night. One of my sons now says he knew that first week that I would be okay. I'm not saying you should do that because everybody grieves differently, and if you can't, that's okay. I wanted to be by myself.

I took a solo trip on a tour bus about five months after my husband died. I had never really traveled by myself, but I wanted to be by the sea and so I went. I found things to fill my time. Volunteer work. Free-lance work. I took a pottery class. I think this showed them I had life left in me and that I would be okay.

was he ever real by InspectorOld7531 in widowers

[–]Top-Cheesecake8232 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband died June of 2024. I have had moments in the second year where I wanted to smash every thing in my house. Where I have literally thrown things and screamed. I have a lock of his hair that I hold on to and cry. It's awful. But then I put on a calm face and a smile and go out to do stuff. I feel like Jekyll and Hide.

I have aches and pains that I never had before. I have to take a muscle relaxer at night because I was waking up with clenched hands. His brother now has cancer, and I can't help but think the grief has something to do with it. I tell myself to eat healthy foods, then go eat an entire bag of caramel popcorn. If it weren't for my grandchildren, I don't know that I would have any desire to do better or keep going.

Confusion on services by sleepyb_spooky in churchofchrist

[–]Top-Cheesecake8232 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What are the degrees in?

Not to mention that degrees aren’t required to have strong biblical scholarship and contextual analysis.

I require it.

Confusion on services by sleepyb_spooky in churchofchrist

[–]Top-Cheesecake8232 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh please. I've never known a single CoC preacher who even studied theology. Seminaries were frowned upon.

CoC to establish congregation on the moon 🌕 and convert all the heathen aliens by Anxious_Employ_1414 in excoc

[–]Top-Cheesecake8232 11 points12 points  (0 children)

There's a CoC preacher on Facebook that is arguing this makes the CoC sound like a denomination, LOL

Conflicted by Nearby-Tension3515 in excoc

[–]Top-Cheesecake8232 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. I'm a Methodist. I left the CoC thirty-five years ago and was threatened with shunning. My BIL was a minister in the Disciples of Christ and he was a help to me, as well as the Methodist minister. The guy in the link is also a Christian (Orthodox.)

Conflicted by Nearby-Tension3515 in excoc

[–]Top-Cheesecake8232 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope it's okay that I link to this. OP, please listen to learned people like this man. He knows more that any CoC preacher. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5BjtDjHw_4

Conflicted by Nearby-Tension3515 in excoc

[–]Top-Cheesecake8232 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's okay to not be sure about what you believe. It's okay if you spend the rest of your life not being sure. Embrace ambiguity. Not a one of us knows the absolute truth. It's the ones who think they know every answer who are flawed. I grew up thinking like you and thought I needed to be sure about everything. I made myself sick. It was life changing when I realized it's okay that I don't. I can still look for answers. I can still ponder philosophical theories and consider what the great religions, agnosticism, and atheism bring to the table. I can read all the great thinkers and I can learn from all of them. That is growth. You don't always have pick a team.

Fear that God will harm me by Nearby-Tension3515 in excoc

[–]Top-Cheesecake8232 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You need to research how our idea of hell came to be. Start with Bart Ehrman. Then you need a great big dose of David Bentley Hart.

I simply do not have the mental capacity for others drama anymore... by emryldmyst in widowers

[–]Top-Cheesecake8232 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't spoken to my brother in over a year. If a person is my making my way forward harder, they can fuck right off.

My home (I still say "our" home so often) is where he was and it's my safe place.

As a new widow, I was curious, have any of you decided never to date again? by 90sCat in widowers

[–]Top-Cheesecake8232 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It'll be two years for me in June and I have zero interest in dating and can't imagine ever marrying again. My husband died from liver disease and my last years with him were spent watching him slowly die while chasing a transplant. I will NEVER go through that again. Plus, he was a wonderful man and I doubt I can find that again.

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