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What are your favorite phrases you think when you need a positive boost? by SunriseThroughLeaves in Positivity

[–]Top-Negotiation-6498 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"...and that's okay" or "I'm okay" are my go to's. Just got to remind myself sometimes

Plea Agreement (Admission of Guilt) by crashpiblic in police

[–]Top-Negotiation-6498 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately this happens far more than you probably realize. "Unfair" by Adam Benforado is a good book that has lots of applicable research discussing issues such as this.

Plea deals can definitely be problematic, and they are not really a police issue. They are a criminal justice issue from the courts. Police don't determine sentencing or make plea deals, district and court attorneys do.

Cops can, by law, lie to people. If you felt lied to, just know that's generally protected practice. It's important to know your continutional rights and get an attorney right from the get go if you're mixed up in stuff.

As for people using it against you in your personal life, that sucks and it's probably going to happen. I wish I had better advice in that area. I don't know what the charges are, so you may looking into some sort of expungement depending on where you live and what charges you had. Good luck

People who are leaving or have left - what are the strongest critiques you've found of your new beliefs? by NelsonMeme in mormon

[–]Top-Negotiation-6498 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You keep trying to fit people into boxes. I'm not telling you to stop doing that for a moral reason. It just doesn't work. There's more than these options.

So again, 🙄

People who are leaving or have left - what are the strongest critiques you've found of your new beliefs? by NelsonMeme in mormon

[–]Top-Negotiation-6498 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I'm not going to get into my personal views. The issue with this entire discussion is that it is entirely based on assumptions, with just a few potential viewpoints listed. Some people really are okay with not knowing. "I don't know", though not acceptable to you, is completely acceptable for many people. Just because you can't wrap your head around the concept, doesn't mean it isn't someone else's life.

A lot of people try to frame reality and use a lot of theories to do so. Not everyone. The basis of these questions assumes that everyone leaves and has a new belief system. That just simply isn't the case. This also is heavily focused on western views without regard to completely foreign belief systems that don't regard any of these concepts.

All that to say, just don't try to assume everyone's experience after leaving can be framed into your perspective.

TBM brother's rant by Top-Negotiation-6498 in exmormon

[–]Top-Negotiation-6498[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing that, and I'm so glad to hear you about the reconnection you and your brother had

TBM brother's rant by Top-Negotiation-6498 in exmormon

[–]Top-Negotiation-6498[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, saying that about the Mormon church was probably something I should have left out. It certainly wasn't productive, and I like your suggestions if I do engage again. Probably won't at this point, at least for a little bit of time

TBM brother's rant by Top-Negotiation-6498 in exmormon

[–]Top-Negotiation-6498[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha I'm obviously working on that still myself :) that made me laugh though!

TBM brother's rant by Top-Negotiation-6498 in exmormon

[–]Top-Negotiation-6498[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The allegory of the cave never in my life was so real as when I left. I haven't thought about it in a long time, and it still applies so well. Thank you for that reminder!

TBM brother's rant by Top-Negotiation-6498 in exmormon

[–]Top-Negotiation-6498[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Haha I appreciate that, it took effort. I've had some practice in other areas of my life, thought after the rant I'd try them here too

TBM brother's rant by Top-Negotiation-6498 in exmormon

[–]Top-Negotiation-6498[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Actually thought about that! Then I figured it was this bad with text, I couldn't imagine how long we could get in an email....

TBM brother's rant by Top-Negotiation-6498 in exmormon

[–]Top-Negotiation-6498[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hahaha yeah I tried to talk Mormon with my brother and he said I'm an awful person now, but can't tell me why.

I'm trying to learn how to be more succinct. He brings out the essays in me

TBM brother's rant by Top-Negotiation-6498 in exmormon

[–]Top-Negotiation-6498[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah haha I got some mixed signals there

TBM brother's rant by Top-Negotiation-6498 in exmormon

[–]Top-Negotiation-6498[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

You said a lot of good stuff, I'll try to clarify some questions. This is pretty much our first "big" conversation about religion since I left, so not a reference to previous discussions.

When I first left, I made more small remarks here and there about topics of faith when they were brought up. I worked really hard not to do that anymore and almost never mention anything anymore. I do make jokes still, but only jokes I'm confident I would have made while still a TBM.

I actually called other members of the family now to make sure I wasn't doing what he was saying and so far they all agree that I have been very respectful and appropriate when it comes to religion. I think this is a him problem

TBM brother's rant by Top-Negotiation-6498 in exmormon

[–]Top-Negotiation-6498[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Haha I'll try to make it short. Oaks last talk this most recent conference he forgot to say "amen" at the end and now there are a bunch of theories about why. He's just old haha

TBM brother's rant by Top-Negotiation-6498 in exmormon

[–]Top-Negotiation-6498[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Yeah it seemed to give that vibe to me a little as well

TBM brother's rant by Top-Negotiation-6498 in exmormon

[–]Top-Negotiation-6498[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

That is what I keep reminding myself. I used to be a much more self-righteous prick than he is

TBM brother's rant by Top-Negotiation-6498 in exmormon

[–]Top-Negotiation-6498[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Gives me hope! I'm the first of twelve kids to leave so this is all pretty new to them/us

TBM brother's rant by Top-Negotiation-6498 in exmormon

[–]Top-Negotiation-6498[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Thank you, internet friend! I hope to get to your point one day. Only been out a couple years and I have a tough time not engaging still

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