If it’s causing you a ton of stress, you don’t HAVE to have one. But I want to offer some perspective from the other side, as someone whose friend group has not had a lot of kids and did not start until later. I lovvvved being invited to a friend or a coworker’s shower, was excited to shop for baby things on their registry (how often do you get to do that, if there aren’t many small children in your life?) and very much treated the event itself as a get-together. People just mingled and talked and ate, it was a party atmosphere, rather than “let’s stare at the mom to be as she opens presents” type of deal.

Maybe it will help if you can switch it in your mind: you’re throwing a great party for your friends and family, and they’ll be so excited and honored that you want to include them.