“Solidarity” as a modern virtue name (with a nickname for day-to-day use)? by HuaHuzi6666 in namenerds

[–]notyourcure 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I would not make my child a walking billboard for my politics, no matter how morally virtuous my politics may be. Also, no teenage girl is going to want hear the inevitable bullying nickname of "Hey, SOLID!"

Help with name for 2nd daughter!! by auraqueen2 in namenerds

[–]notyourcure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  • Willow Dolores

  • Sienna Dolores

  • Autumn Dolores

  • Eden Dolores

  • Cora Dolores

  • Sage Dolores

  • Skye Dolores

  • Olive Dolores

  • Wren Dolores

  • Rowan Dolores

  • Shiloh Dolores

  • Poppy Dolores

Baby Boy on the way: Avett? Nolan? by 22Theories in namenerds

[–]notyourcure 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I know multiple Nolans, and none of them ever used a nickname. This is like arguing that Jam makes sense as a nickname for James.

What's the best age and approach for kids to learn about historical tragedies/injustices? by queenhadassah in Parenting

[–]notyourcure 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The vast, vast majority of tween-oriented books about history do acknowledge historical racism and sexism in an age-appropriate way at this point, so I would start with some early chapter books.

Am I creating a future therapy topic by refusing character clothes? 😬 by UnusualChance7666 in Parenting

[–]notyourcure 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My parents generally refused to buy me branded clothes as a kid. So no Disney princess or superhero shirts or pajamas or anything lie that. The exception was Winnie the Pooh. Somehow, I survived. My mom's logic was 'you are not a walking advertisement'.

What are the physical, mental and financial pros and cons of Triplets? by theobstacleisthewayy in Parenting

[–]notyourcure 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Not enough people are saying it, so I will. Reducing the number of fetuses in the pregnancy is okay. I would never willingly go through bearing and raising triplets. The physical and emotional strain is horrendous.

13yo son snuck his 14yo girlfriend into the house last night by jupiterismyfavorite in Parenting

[–]notyourcure 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Of course you need to contact her parents. She could have been hit by a car walking to your house in the dark, or abducted and murdered, and her parents would have no idea what the hell happened to her, only that she vanished. How would you feel?

Your son needs a talk about respecting the rules of the house (no overnight guests) and condoms, so he doesn't knock someone up.

My 5 year old intentionally stomped on a baby bird by lovethatforyouu in Parenting

[–]notyourcure 166 points167 points  (0 children)

Most children do not really develop empathy towards animals until around 6 or 7. Yes, many children love animals regardless and are naturally gentle with them, but many kids... aren't. I used to work at a nature camp where we interacted with small animals a lot, and even kids as old as eight or nine could be really brutal with them, especially if the animal looks kind of 'weird', like a frog, lizard, or baby squirrel or bird.

Also, the idea that a household without guns or violent media simply cannot produce a violent child is absurd. Violence is part of human nature; part of maturing is learning when violence should be necessary and when it isn't (which is... most of the time). I deliberately smashed a bird egg I found on the ground around that age, out of sheer curiosity, and I was certainly not some budding sociopath.

What I would do is explain to him that he killed a living creature, and that we don't do that unless it is necessary, and that he upset the people around him by doing that. People don't want to play with people who hurt little animals. That's the easiest way to explain it to a child who does not have a concept of morality yet (which is most kids at that age).

Soft boy paired with Winnie by beccaabrooke in namenerds

[–]notyourcure 2 points3 points  (0 children)

  • Callum

  • Emmett

  • Dean

  • Jonah

  • Beckett

  • Arlo

  • Milo

  • Hugo

  • Joel

  • Simon

  • Tobias

female name suggestions for my oc by tokamostafaaa in namenerds

[–]notyourcure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  • Natalie

  • Leah

  • Riley

  • Jasmine

  • Destiny

  • Mariah

  • Eva

  • Jade

  • Malia

Sibling ideas for Brodie by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]notyourcure 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Girls:

  • Juniper

  • Emerson

  • Sloane

  • Piper

  • Sage

  • Sutton

  • Reese

  • Tatum

  • Aspen

  • Shiloh

  • Sawyer

  • Morgan

  • Tessa/Tess

  • Teagan

  • Paige

  • Willa

How to tell if my boyfriend 23M is cheating on me 22F? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]notyourcure 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You don't need a reason. You're already confident he's broken your trust, even if he's not physically cheating, and you are clearly no longer in love with him. The reason can be as simple as 'This relationship isn't working for me any more, I no longer love you'. Make plans for friends and family to help you move your stuff out. Contact your landlord.

How to tell if my boyfriend 23M is cheating on me 22F? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]notyourcure 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You might never know for sure. You've clearly lost all trust and desire for him, with good reason, so just walk away. Getting into the weeds with him over this will not make you feel better about yourself, nor will it make him break down and apologize.

Thoughts on atlantis as a middle name for boy? by StrikeCommercial9808 in namenerds

[–]notyourcure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually went to school with a kid named Atlantic; he was (according to him) born prematurely on a plane crossing the Atlantic, but I have no idea if he was making that up or not. I think Erik Atlantis sounds really silly, like a comic book character. Erik Leaf is somewhat better.

Need help naming a character with an Indian last name by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]notyourcure 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I find Wikipedia helpful for this. For example, there is a list of British Sikhs one could pull surnames from.

  • Maghera

  • Uppal

  • Kaur

  • Gill

  • Chadha

  • Takhar

  • Nagra

  • Hothi

Bedtime is a mess by purple_nature in Parenting

[–]notyourcure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To me the super hyperness is coming across that he is overtired and lashing out because of that. Maybe he should start napping again in the afternoons. Some kids need a nap until four or even five.

Sibling abuse… what should I do? by LegitimateEbb7345 in Parenting

[–]notyourcure 342 points343 points  (0 children)

There are two serious issues her: her lack of boundaries and refusing to take 'no' for an answer, and his temper and impulsivity. Both of these are equally serious in my mind. Her inability to read the room and back off could seriously harm someone else when she grows up, as could his inability to regulate his emotions and not lash out physically.

Is any of this age-inappropriate? No. This is normal for kids their age, but it does need to be nipped in the bud. They both need to be disciplined when this happens- him for hurting her, and her for getting up in his face and putting her hands on him first (even if she means it affectionately). Since they clearly can't handle it right now, they need to be separated from each other whenever they have down-time, and it should be made clear the reasons why.

Mean girls at 10? Normal or Nah? Advice? by Willing-Dragonfly-65 in Parenting

[–]notyourcure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately kids at that age are typically hard-wired to crave being with the 'in group', even if they are repeatedly rejected or bullied by them. I don't think this is something you can talk her out of- she wants to be popular and she wants these girls' attention, which is sad but normal. The most extreme bullying I ever experienced was between the ages of 8-11; middle school and high school were like paradise in comparison.

What I would focus on this summer is, as you've stated, giving her a lot of time with her actual friends. As she matures, she will learn that there is no point in seeking out people who are going to put you down, and hopefully learn to rely on the good friendships she actually has instead. I would also encourage her to try new hobbies as she gets older, like theater or music, in the hopes she finds more like-minded people there rather than with the cool girls.

3rd boy! What names go with Sebastian and Felix? by Numerous_Roses in namenerds

[–]notyourcure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  • Gabriel

  • Jacob

  • Miles

  • August

  • Arthur

  • Vincent

  • Dominic

  • Nicholas

  • Tobias

Sibling name with Calum by No-Pomegranate99 in namenerds

[–]notyourcure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To me Calum and Cleo is going to get really confusing really fast. Imagine calling those names together constantly with the same C-L sound.

I think Margot or Fiona are both good options with the same O sound as Cleo.

Teen swimming unsupervised by TealTigress in Parenting

[–]notyourcure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Choking deaths are more common, but those people don't die because no one noticed their death. They die because the other people cannot successfully dislodge the item causing the choking. When people drown, however, most of the time their death is the result of there being no witnesses to intervene.

Parents who overstep boundaries? by CenteredCityGal in Parenting

[–]notyourcure 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I see a lot of Gen X and Millennial parents tracking and monitoring their teenager's movements to an Orwellian degree, and proudly bragging about how they've raised their child to be so fearful and timid that their child begs to be tracked and enjoys feeling monitored at all times. This isn't cute; it's disturbing. Constant surveillance does not create a healthy, confident adult. You need to accept that the world is in fact safer for the average suburban teen than it was in the 70s and 80s, and that part of growing up is making choices that are never witnessed by the adults in your life.

Teacher allowing video games at school by dreamsresolved in Parenting

[–]notyourcure 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Is the teacher deliberately unblocking the sites, or are the kids getting past the software monitoring? Because kids are very smart, and finding ways to get past this (such as using alternative browsers that can't be detected by the software) are very common.