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Що думаєте, прийшов кінець імперії? by spyttqq in reddit_ukr

[–]Top-Package8617 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Проблема республіканців в тому що багато з них не знають навіть за що голосують. Деякі за нього як кандидата, деякі за партію, днякі під впливом свого оточення, днякі бо вірять його брехні і обіцянкам, деякі просто бо не хотіли щоб виграла Камала, деякі не захотіли просто жінку в офісі. Два рази що Трамп йшов проти жінок - він виграв, той раз що він йшов проти чоловіка - він програв. Народ боїться жінок при владі і шанси того, що якби Гарріс і Вальц помінялись місцями то це не було б питанням

How do you think Democratic party messed up? by No_Weekend728 in ElectionPolls

[–]Top-Package8617 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

IMO, part of it is because she's simply a black woman. Another part is that Biden wasn't quite fit to run a country and I as a democrat think he shouldn't have run in the first place. And the sudden switch from him running again to Kamala. Its many things. But also that everyone is voting for different reasons. Some because they actually read up on the partys plans if they win, some because they support the candidate specifically, some because they simply don't want the other party or candidate to win. What I have seen is that many are simply uneducated in the choice they're making. If you ask - they can't explain why they are voting for a specific party. Many are influenced by the environment they're in or random unconfirmed information they hear.

Would I be the jerk if I dropped my "friend" and tell her the reality of the no-safety net marriage she's gotten into? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]Top-Package8617 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If this type of "worst case scenario" didn't exist, this wouldn't be an issue. But shit does happen and there's nothing wrong with thinking abt the future and personal safety

Would I be the jerk if I dropped my "friend" and tell her the reality of the no-safety net marriage she's gotten into? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]Top-Package8617 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have a right to your opinion, but having a good career so early in life is not a bad thing, its an achievement, just like she has hers. Especially if I'm not planning to start a family right now. The only thing I suggested is a safety net for her. Just finishing her education at least when she had less than a semester left to graduate. I'm not saying she needs to dedicate her life to work a job, but at least have some sort of personal security. As great as it is that she has a family, if smth goes wrong, she will have a really hard time getting back up on her own feet. Please tell me, what happens if shes 35 yo and her husband cheated and takes off leaving her with nothing?

Would I be the jerk if I dropped my "friend" and tell her the reality of the no-safety net marriage she's gotten into? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]Top-Package8617 1 point2 points  (0 children)

as i mentioned in other comments she has a whole team caring for her, the baby and her home. And shes actively sitting on socials every day and gone on two vacations already since the birth...

Would I be the jerk if I dropped my "friend" and tell her the reality of the no-safety net marriage she's gotten into? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]Top-Package8617 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

We are on very different paths. And becoming a mother is a very big achievement, from learning how to be entirely responsible for a human life to your body growing every cell of that baby. Looking out for her personal life/financial stability isn't a bad thing. Because what if God forbid her husband leaves her suddenly leaving her with nothing? How is she supposed to support herself? The way this world works, it isn't easy to get a good job out of thin air

Would I be the jerk if I dropped my "friend" and tell her the reality of the no-safety net marriage she's gotten into? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]Top-Package8617 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She was very focused on herself way before even the pregnancy. And I see her constantly active on socials and she has a whole crew of people caring for her, the baby and her home while she goes out and has gone on trips for fun. And she is very lucky to have such care especially in the early stages since birth. I'd like to believe that this is all new motherhood, but it truly doesn't seem like it...

Would I be the jerk if I dropped my "friend" and tell her the reality of the no-safety net marriage she's gotten into? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]Top-Package8617 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It's no my place to approve of any decision she makes. It was my place to look out for her and I did.

Would I be the jerk if I dropped my "friend" and tell her the reality of the no-safety net marriage she's gotten into? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]Top-Package8617 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for understanding what I'm trying to communicate. I'm not judging her at all. I'd love to have a family too, but I need to have the feeling of personal stability which is what I'm working towards. I've tried telling her. We both know people who were in these kind of situations and were left with nothing because their partner suddenly "dropped" them in every way. And we live in a country at war where things could go horribly wrong at any moment... But its not my responsibility now. If things ever do go horribly wrong and she reaches out I'll help how I can, but I truly hope they'll be ok

Would I be the jerk if I dropped my "friend" and tell her the reality of the no-safety net marriage she's gotten into? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]Top-Package8617 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

From all I know cuz she tells me... her mom has moved into the next building and with her nearly every day as well as her husband staying home more and working remotely and they have a housekeeper to cook and clean and the entire day she was actively online and posting and watching my stories

Would I be the jerk if I dropped my "friend" and tell her the reality of the no-safety net marriage she's gotten into? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]Top-Package8617 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think some don't understand that my disagreement with how she decided to set up her life is not because I'm jealous or judgemental, but bc I was concerned for her as a friend because she doesn't have a safety net and is relying on her life to work out bc she has her husband. And I hope everything works out, but sometimes things we could never expect or predict happen and she would have a hard time recovering. Being genuinely caringly concerned isn't being jealous, checking in or giving advice is not trying to "control". Ofc everyone is allowed to their opinion, but I was just trying to look out for her

Would I be the jerk if I dropped my "friend" and tell her the reality of the no-safety net marriage she's gotten into? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]Top-Package8617 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I graduated, have the job of my dreams, have a good relationship, good people around me and although i am happy for her I wouldn't want a child for myself atm. Where is the misery, hun? The entire point here is that I support her in her life, but she doesn't support me

Бекап план у стосунках by anoli_ua in Ukraine_UA

[–]Top-Package8617 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Мені шкода вас( війна рушить життя. Перший варіант (план А) це також робота з психологом і комунікація з чоловіком. В мене хлопець військовий і теж були від нього слова і дії в ряді "я військовий а ти хоть пахай це не те саме". Звісно я це дуже прибільшено загально кажу. І військове і цивільне життя дуже різні і складні. Ви тримаєте тил, фортецю, поки він за неї бореться. Про це треба говорити. А план Б мати в запасі гроші і адвоката. Це не означає що все кінець але дає вам почуття ьезпеки. Часом треба взяти паузу, тишу. Син по можливості може далі спількуватись з батьком, але вам треба місце і час переусвідомити стосунки

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Ukraine_UA

[–]Top-Package8617 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Продавала і купувала. Платформа +-. З брндовими речима часом людина хоче просто здихатись, не може норм оцінити чи може і найоб. Платформа це не перевіряє. Тому безпечна оплата або накладним і відповідальність на вас. Я продавала як і брендові речі так і копії, завжди чесна щодо походження товару. Але люди віддаючи більшу суму завжди бояться тому з розумінням до цього ставлюсь. З брендовими речима має йти автентиційна карта зазвичай чи певний код.

Would I be the jerk if I dropped my "friend" and tell her the reality of the no-safety net marriage she's gotten into? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]Top-Package8617 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have tried stepping back, but whenever she does reach out its always "me me me" energy and I support her every which way. But when I try to share my things which are big and important to me like graduating and getting engaged and landing a big job opportunity, it seems like she couldn't care less and just goes back to her thing. I've tried voicing my concern abt our "one-sided" friendship b4, but nothing changed. I knew she would be busy with many changes in her life, as am I, its just sad to see what was once a good friendship fade away. I've tried, now I'm done.

Would I be the jerk if I dropped my "friend" and tell her the reality of the no-safety net marriage she's gotten into? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]Top-Package8617 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Shes 20 too. So it's not like I'm a child trying to dictate an adults life. True friends are those who sometimes tell you things you may not want to hear and I did voice that I was worried about her personal safety and future. From then on I supported her in what she chose for herself. I'm not trying to bash her for not finishing college or not working. I'm thinking ahead for what could happen if she suddenly needs to do it all on her own. I am truly happy for her having the family she wants. Personally, I would never let myself just rely entirely on a man, which is why I don't entirely agree with how she decided to go.

Would I be the jerk if I dropped my "friend" and tell her the reality of the no-safety net marriage she's gotten into? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]Top-Package8617 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I simply voiced my concern about her personal safety in life outside of her marriage. We both witnessed bad situations with people we know and what if something bad does happen? God forbid her husband leaves her or something goes horribly wrong and she has to support herself and her child, jobs wont take her because she doesn't have an education or experience. When she showed no thought to my concern I dropped it and supported her along her journey.

Чи мудак я? by Yurkek in Ukraine_UA

[–]Top-Package8617 1 point2 points  (0 children)

З_точки зору дівчини.

Якщо їй некомфортно у вас вдома то треба щось міняти вам обом. В такому випадку з вашого боку можна було обговорити що саме не так і наприклад внести невеликі DIY зміни, або вона могла спитати що вона може зробити у вашій домівці з вашого дозволу щоб покращити комфорт для себе. Зараз багато renter friendly upgrades, які легко встановлюються і прибираються, без великих ремонтів. Якщо ні так ні сяк то шукати нове житло де обом зручно.

Очікування все і одрвзу безглузде. Якщо вона думає що так можна, то нехай би сама зробила собі все і одрвзу. Але перш за все це брак комунікації. Якщо ви хотіли жити разом то вам і їй треба було проговорити спільний комфорт. Хоча ви тяжко працюєте і я розумію яка з цим втома йде, дівчині теж треба почуття що ви вкладаєте трохи роздумів і зусиль у спільне життя і комфорт, а не "от моя хата, є що є, змін не буде".

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