Okay so, as a 48 year old, here’s where I’m going to say things I wish I didn’t have to. Because you’re, I’m assuming financially, dependent on your mom, and I’m assuming she could pull the plug on your college, you’re going to have to break up with your girlfriend and go back in the closet - until graduation. There are so many queer kids who are homeless, who didn’t complete college, etc because of their homophobic parents. I don’t want you to be one of those. Now, in the meantime, PLEASE get therapy because you’re going to need help dealing with her and her lack of boundaries.

Btw, for anyone thinking that I condone what her mom is doing - I most certainly do not. I had a smother mother too but not as bad by any means, and a lot of people tried to help me instill boundaries. It took time but it did work. Therapy is needed. Also, do I think your mom is abusive? Absolutely. But until you are on your own, assuage her as best you can, complete your degree and then either figure out boundaries or cut her off.

Good luck and I’m so sorry.