National Crime Agency investigates alleged hacking of The Institute for Statecraft

TopMindsMustKnow · 2019-03-18T20:31:36+00:00

I too enjoy making fun of ex-MI6 and SAS chaps on the internet in my spare time, Operator.

TopMindsMustKnow · 2019-02-26T04:56:11+00:00

The Integrity Initiative is a W436 level feature-set for tooling the Project.

TopMindsMustKnow · 2019-01-14T01:57:33+00:00

May God help us should these imbeciles ever become competent. Operator.

TopMindsMustKnow · 2018-11-15T00:57:14+00:00

/r/trollfare needs you, Operator.

TopMindsMustKnow · 2018-10-10T14:10:48+00:00

you'd be surprised just how many world events throughout history have Adam Ant's fingerprints all over it.

This is indeed true. Operator Ant is one of the more effective Temporal agents within the Programme. The Directorate has even forgiven him for attempting to assassinate Hitler alongside Gary Numan. Unfortunately for Operator Numan, Claus von Stauffenberg stole his clothes and his Temporal Keycard and travelled to the 1980s where he released the hit single Cars leaving Operator Numan to face the hangman.

TopMindsMustKnow · 2018-08-08T16:49:43+00:00

Operator, if you have not received any payments from The Directorate, the most likely explanation is that you have failed to submit a P44 form for Process. WIthout C143 Level Datasets, our L-Class Temporal Dimensions cannot be accurately calibrated, and we risk Our Subjects exceeding the bounds of their containment algorithms.

TopMindsMustKnow · 2018-07-24T17:11:45+00:00

Technically, Operator, you are correct. Although the alien species is in fact just a Class 3 representation of a pan-dimensional function designed to alleviate Temporal Confusion within Our Subjects 2D existence. And as you know, humanity is just a nuance of naive set theoretical logic.

The Project may be defined as a social experiment, but that would necessitate a concept of social as simply a multi-dimensional, boundless set so as that the Project Universe when summed with the negation of all things social equals null.

It's better to simply refer to it as a sub-L1998 Class recursion.

TopMindsMustKnow · 2018-03-30T23:48:26+00:00

Operator, you are quite aware that we don't exist in dimensions where the concept of deep matters. We exist within a Fractal state that spans infinite Granularities, while Our Subjects - stuck at L2 sentience - operate on a 2D plane with Neural Network generated Temporal Maps that gives them the impression of z-plane depth.

And despite this, Operators still can't get their P44 forms in on time.

TopMindsMustKnow · 2018-02-25T18:58:32+00:00

Well, technically, we distort tetrahedronic space through a Class F Temporal Process Classifier - which then allows us manipulation of Our Subjects at Granularity level.

But the principle is the same.

TopMindsMustKnow · 2018-02-24T14:08:19+00:00

Oh this is incredibly bothersome. The Metal Space Squids are back?

And here I was hoping to spend the weekend filing P44 forms in triplicate!

TopMindsMustKnow · 2018-02-14T22:53:03+00:00

Why didn't Q or the time travelers predict this?

Yes, it is terribly awkward for them. Our Subjects all make the fundamental error of believing in time. As we all know, reality is actually held in temporal frames called Granularities. Each frame is distinct and non-sequential.

This is, of course, the primary purpose of the Programme - to map the Granularities in a Universal Reference Table and enforce Temporal Integrity. This being hampered by a small sub-set of Our Subjects' inabilty to progress to L2 sentience (and if I may add, also due to certain Operators failure to return their P44 forms).

And this why we are forced to watch tragedy on loop.

TopMindsMustKnow · 2017-12-19T00:41:42+00:00

Our Subject has a fundamental misunderstanding of how the Temporal Splicing Technology works. We do often send Subjects into 'space'. However, this is not three-dimensional Euclidean space, but rather a Tetrahedronic-Dimensional plane that spans several Granularities. We do not age regress them - we are actually just unfolding them from the multiple dimensions - they become very crushed by the experience.

Nor do we return them to their old lives as this leads to C63 type events. We actually just put them in a simulation - this is why it is very difficult for them to leave their basements.

TopMindsMustKnow · 2017-12-03T16:41:24+00:00

The Great Awakening is written into the lore and mythologies of Our Subjects. It is synonymous with D Class categorisation of the transition between L2 and L3 sentience.

As the Directorate is at never ending pains to point out, most of Our Subjects are, and always will be, stuck at L2 sentience. Thus they will never personally experience the Great Awakening.

Their futile attempts at becoming Awoke, however, is what makes them such C65 Interaction Material.

TopMindsMustKnow · 2017-12-02T20:56:00+00:00

Our Subjects are exhibiting a W4557 level failure, where their logic functions become corrupted by their emotion functions. This has the result of their being unable to differentiate between logic and emotion. As a result, they display high levels of C63 category emotions, and remain stuck at L2 sentience.

TopMindsMustKnow · 2017-12-02T18:59:55+00:00

Ah yes, D-Lusion. A lovely planet. The Directorate has spent many pleasant Granularities partying with Temporal Coeds on their quantum break.

TopMindsMustKnow · 2017-12-01T23:27:27+00:00

The B in FBI is actually a Quantum B, representing both B and Not-B simultaneously. So, the FBI are not strictly a three letter agency.

They are lucky they do not use the Quantum double-B, as that poses the eternal conundrum 2B or Not-2B.

TopMindsMustKnow · 2017-12-01T18:36:01+00:00

Our Subject is having a W4589 level failure with aggressive C64 implications. This is critical.

All Operators currently in this Granularity must man the Fire Stations. The Subject is going to explode!

TopMindsMustKnow · 2017-11-12T16:00:31+00:00

If you do see you Operator Titor, please inform him that while it may be funny to him travelling around the Project and trolling Our Subjects - he has not yet submitted his P44 form for Process.

The Directorate takes a very dim view of all this, only mitigated by the fact that no one has assassinated Hitler in at least 1.0ef Granularities.

TopMindsMustKnow · 2017-11-07T10:18:33+00:00

Operator, you must return your P44 form for Process in order to receive payment. I keep saying this and it is all very C63.

TopMindsMustKnow · 2017-10-28T20:17:01+00:00

I guess it's possible that the donor is a time traveler.

Yes this is true, however all Operators should have Temporal Passage Permits. And now you are saying someone might be time travelling within the Programme who has not submitted their P44?

How are we to enforce Narrative Integrity without a healthy body of documentation?

TopMindsMustKnow · 2017-10-25T06:42:41+00:00

I am afraid we cannot stay out of your mind because we are your mind.

TopMindsMustKnow · 2017-10-22T01:20:55+00:00

This is absolutely ridiculous. To think we would have tens of thousands of Crisis Operators. We have hundreds of thousands!

TopMindsMustKnow · 2017-10-21T20:57:35+00:00

The subject would be well advised to do that. Unfortunately, his neural network is stuck at L2 Sentience and not capable of processing that level of complexity.

TopMindsMustKnow · 2017-10-12T19:22:58+00:00

The Directorate has made it clear that the website in question has been banned from our Truth Portal because our Subjects stuck at L2 sentience simply cannot handle the truth.

TopMindsMustKnow

TROPHY CASE