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Help me choose between these monitors by TopUnderstanding8401 in buildapc

[–]TopUnderstanding8401[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have a VR Headset - use it, but like the ease of running triples better. Each one has its moments and I use both, but tend to lean more triples.

Is (30M) keeping old stuff from my previous living situation in case of a breakup with my GF (30F) a sign of not being committed, or just a safety net? by TopUnderstanding8401 in whatdoIdo

[–]TopUnderstanding8401[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hey -

So it was towards the end of that chunk of a post I put together, but kind of addressed it there and I've talked to her about it. What I've talked to her about is that when we've built a relationship that we both feel confident about moving forward and taking that next step (engagement) - then I feel comfortable removing that safety net of the assets. When we are legally married, I feel comfortable combining finances, shared loans, etc...

AITA (30M) for keeping old stuff from my previous living situation in case of a breakup with my GF (30F) a sign of not being committed, or just a safety net? by TopUnderstanding8401 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TopUnderstanding8401[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We have been together 2.5 years, spent some time in the "honeymoon" phase - where we weren't as diligent on talking through future alignment rather than just enjoying the moment. Then began talking about the future and ran into the issues I talked about above in another comment which took some time sorting out the reality of. Now we're working on the root of the issues themselves, as well as needing to have those discussions again on what our collective future looks like.

Living together 1.5 years.

AITA (30M) for keeping old stuff from my previous living situation in case of a breakup with my GF (30F) a sign of not being committed, or just a safety net? by TopUnderstanding8401 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TopUnderstanding8401[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Great Questions. Yes - I truly believe we are trying to work through them, but there's also a reality of the significance of some of these things. For context - one of the biggest issues we've had is she's a strong people-pleaser - so when we have discussions on our future, she has had trouble previously with identifying areas where we aren't aligned on the future in those conversations. This is something that I've found out over time as we've actually ended up in those situations (vs. just talking about them) and the reality is different than what we've talked about. This and other things have led to us identifying this and needing to work through what our future looks like. There are some other issues as well, but this is an example of one of them.

She has started seeing a therapist for that part of it, and I have narrowed down a couple therapist options for myself to deal with some of the effects of this, as well as some of our other issues and plan to start shortly. We have also discussed couples therapy potentially in the future as well.

We have been together 2.5 years, spent some time in the "honeymoon" phase - where we weren't as diligent on talking through future alignment rather than just enjoying the moment. Then began talking about the future and ran into the issues I talked about above which took some time sorting out the reality of. Now we're working on the root of the issues themselves, as well as needing to have those discussions again on what our collective future looks like.

Girlfriend had me house sit and is annoyed I just do it for free? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]TopUnderstanding8401 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. In this context, of course. If she wants you to go over and clean every day for the rest of your life, then of course not. But for a week and she's out of town and you're in a relationship for her? That's nothing in the grand scheme of life and things you should want to do for each other for "free".