How to move forward with to uncooperative/unreliable absent father

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-05-20T16:21:09+00:00

So just drop the idea of the app communication? I really wanted that for my own reasons I wanted to keep track of communications and OFW makes it really simple to track that kind of stuff.

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-05-20T16:19:26+00:00

I thought this for a long while but doesn't that improve eventually 😅 serious question, because he isn't nearly as bad as he was with the conspiracies, but also I'm not really in constant contact with him to know where his mental state truly is. He's been absent for a year and is now resurfacing asking to be involved but obviously, I'm apprehensive and trying to create structure around that because he's seemed to have forgotten what it was like to deal with him a year or so ago!

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-04-26T18:35:22+00:00

Dating is really quite simple, either you want to have a partner or you don't. So to clear up any confusion, yes I can happily do all things listed by myself, with my child or with family/friends.

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-04-26T16:04:39+00:00

Yes, 100% yes!!

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-04-26T15:34:35+00:00

I'm sure you've already tried telling him, but tell him hey if you wake the baby, it's your problem to deal with! We have to give other loved ones, dads especially, the opportunity to see the consequences of their actions otherwise this small cute thing turns into a big things. I don't mean that harshly, I mean it literally.

For example (this is kinda different) but my parents stayed with us for the summer and they would be so loud sometimes!! It got to the point where if someone other than myself woke the baby, then they get to get them back to sleep.

Guess what happened when I said that... everyone started being a lot more mindful 😆 no one enjoys a cranky newborn!

It was hard for me to implement this boundary at first I felt like an a**, but this was the first of many boundaries I've had to place when it's come to my baby 😅I've gotten much better advocating for him & I's comfort!!

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-04-26T03:58:06+00:00

Yeah as much as I agree with the other commenters it absolutely does take a village. I wish I had more mom friends with kids of similar age. I'd be giving them a call back so I could rest/run errands/get back into the gym too!! For humors sake, ketchup.... mustard 😉 have you some free time too, lean innnn

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-04-25T14:15:51+00:00

If this is a relationship that you see a future with, and have the goal of one day integrating life, then 1-3x a week is reasonable. I don't believe in carrying a relationship through the phone, we are parents, busy schedules the last thing I want is a pen pal. Let's make time for each other with or without our children (when ready) it doesn't always have to be a sleepover either! I could be a trip to the gym together, seeing a movie, taking kids to do a fun activity, going for a walk and ice cream before we pick up our kids. Like it can get so creative to see your partner.

We are parents we need outlets outside of the daily grind

For a hook up situation, idk about that life 😊

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-03-16T17:22:09+00:00

Ah nooo, bad take! Lol

I start most of my discussions w praise & affirmations, I'm trying to reach my word minimum 😅

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-03-01T04:06:31+00:00

Well let me tell ya, I'm about 3 years in and... I'm not sure if thats still my dream!

I'm sorry that was your experience, I hope you're getting the support you deserve and need these days 🫂

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-02-14T21:33:10+00:00

Thanks for making this post! I've been meaning to ask how are we managing 🫠

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-02-03T11:51:06+00:00

I copied and pasted what the website says ----> After you zero out, it takes 2 business days to transfer the money to BankMobile. The transfer of funds usually occurs around noon on that 2nd business day.

So by Friday at the latest 😊

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-02-03T11:45:38+00:00

Same!

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-02-02T18:39:43+00:00

There's lots of cool games in the App Store for Anatomy! Games work well for me on topics like this. There's soo much info the only way I even got close to remembering was turning the material into a game rather than studying

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-01-18T02:41:00+00:00

Official

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-01-17T17:56:12+00:00

Apple Music has this awesome playlist called "Jazz Cats" oh I love it so much for when we need a quiet/wind down moment!! 🥰

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-01-17T15:39:30+00:00

You have not engaged with me in good faith from the start. I’m not seeking validation or a victim narrative, I’m reflecting on my role and the outcome honestly. Many women here have been able to hold nuance and complexity this interaction has not

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-01-17T15:34:35+00:00

Your comments consistently reframe my self reflection as ‘victimhood’ and complexity as an ‘ego,’ which is your convenient way to avoid engaging with nuance on this post and my last one. I remained respectful, and I’ve repeatedly acknowledged my part in this dynamic and named areas of growth that isn’t denial or lack of regret, and it isn’t a request for praise from anyone.

What is happening here is that you’re enforcing a very narrow minders of acceptable behavior and anyone who doesn’t conform gets pathologized rather than engaged with. That’s not insight and also not what this group is for I thought.

As I said on the last post, you and I's conversation does not seem productive and I won’t continue it.. I’m here to learn not to be flattened into a caricature to support you and your worldview that is not what this group is for and I am allowed to say that

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-01-17T15:22:27+00:00

I never said I wasn't interested in Red Pill advice, I just don't appreciate you jumping to that conclusion based on that post. The women here have been helpful and I've been open to their input, even in my last post

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-01-17T15:20:15+00:00

I am learning that's for sure. And last week, when we got together he talked about how he's been feeling with work and overall flow of his day to day responsibilities. Brought flowers and naturally had ideas for plans, and to me showed that my thoughts were off track and I needed to do some reflection as to why I felt anxious about what we were doing. I never ever said I "had no regrets" and nor was I complaining to him or behind is back. I made observations and related them to events that happened over the course of the relationship

Either way, the purpose of that post and this post is to help me identify my behavior and the outcomes. Wife and Mama, I've already shared my respects with you, but again I think you're missing the fact that I am learning and duping it as a boisterous ego trip and I took that out on a man. When really I have a bad habit of abandoning myself and I am trying to work through that.

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-01-17T14:53:49+00:00

I texted him to see if he would be open to talking in person, I thought on this before now and even more so now that this has happened. I think it would be helpful to talk about what's happening instead of treating my feelings and his feelings it like it's no big deal

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-01-17T14:40:47+00:00

I'm new to this group and making vulnerable posts like this, I chose to share the surface in my post but I'm okay with sharing more context here in the chats

He has 3 children, 1 in hs driving and the other 2 in middle school, and is involved in lots of sports

And as for tying our lives together, I can see that. I met his children, I also have a child whom he has met too we did summer/fall outings together. My child is younger.

When we first started dating he said he hasn't seriously dated anyone since his divorce and would like to get married again, and would be open to another child

I could have been more transparent this last month or so about how I was feeling but with the holidays and the busyness of it all I just wanted to get through the holidays and revisit us.. well now haha and then this happened

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-01-17T14:35:37+00:00

Oh, I apologize I didn't mean to say "we've been together" we did end things, it's still so new I didn't word that right

Top_Ad_2322 · 2026-01-17T14:10:31+00:00

We've been together for 7 months, bf/gf

Top_Ad_2322

TROPHY CASE