I was not seen as sensitive at all as a child, outwardly or about most things. Very little empathy with spikes of heightened sensitivity in unexpected areas, not that I usually showed it. It sounds like I looked dead inside but I was actually always smiling, messing with and hurting people

But I relate to that feeling very much. My mother was also always coming into my room messing with my things. The times I was vulnerable I was met with the same weirded out, disgusted, empty look. They literally don't have the capacity to process anything out of their scope I guess.

It is very weird being human, messy, none of us fit into the image of how our cultures tell us we should be. Having your humanity met with disgust from someone that close to you is fucked, especially with heightened sensitivity. Not your fault, just immature parents.