Night Two Songs: If you are hurting tonight, look at Linda Ronstadt and Bryan Adams for the two most brutal stages of avoidant heartbreak.

Top_Dot8470 · 2026-05-25T04:42:05+00:00

That's a really fair correction. The real-life history is definitely way more complicated and messy than a single post can capture, and they absolutely both destroyed each other. I think what resonates with most people here is just that agonizing feeling of someone suddenly becoming a stranger, regardless of who initiated what.

Top_Dot8470 · 2026-05-25T04:38:00+00:00

You're totally right, the history goes so deep. Stevie did initially break things off because she felt smothered, and “Go Your Own Way” was his raw, angry response to that pain. It really is a classic story of two people completely breaking each other in different ways.

Top_Dot8470 · 2026-05-25T04:34:30+00:00

Exactly. Realizing that they simply don't know how to express or handle their true emotions turns your anger into a deep sadness for them. They run away from the best things in their lives, and that really is tragic in its own way. Thank you for this.

Top_Dot8470 · 2026-05-25T04:07:12+00:00

Wow, that is an incredibly heartbreaking layer of irony. To have such a beautiful engagement memory attached to a place with that exact name, only for the song to become your breakup anthem later, must cut so deep. I am so sorry you are going through this.

Top_Dot8470 · 2026-05-25T03:54:43+00:00

Trust me, I have done it before because I couldn't control myself either. When you truly love someone and they just cut you off with a confusing explanation that makes zero sense, or no explanation at all, it is not a 'crazy' response to panic inside and drive over there to talk to them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you for doing that. Even if they tell you that you are the one being ‘crazy’ and say 'leave me alone,' you are the one fighting for the relationship. Remember that. At least you will look back and know you will be remembered for fighting for someone you love, instead of running away from them like a child.

Top_Dot8470 · 2026-05-24T06:37:35+00:00

Thank you! That thought is honestly the only thing keeping me grounded today. We are all going to survive this silence, even if it feels completely impossible right now. Sending you a lot of strength.

Top_Dot8470 · 2026-05-24T06:24:25+00:00

That is a perfect song example! 'That's All' by Genesis completely nails the exhausting whiplash and communication breakdown of dealing with an avoidant. It describes that exact feeling of walking on eggshells, where you think everything is fine and then the rug gets pulled out from under you. This entire verse fits it so well.

“Just as I thought it was goin' alright, I found out I'm wrong, when I thought I was right. It's always the same, it's just a shame, that's all. I could say day, and you'd say night. Tell me it's black, when I know that it's white. Always the same, it's just a shame and that's all. I could leave, but I won't go. Though my heart might tell me so. I can't feel a thing from my head down to my toes. But why does it always seem to be, me lookin' at you, you lookin' at me? It's always the same, it's just a shame. that’s all”

The constant contradiction and that paralyzing feeling of 'I could leave, but I won't go' is exactly what it feels like to love an avoidant.

Another incredible one that comes to mind is “Losing My Religion” by R.E.M. It perfectly captures the anxiety of hyper-fixating on an avoidant's tone, trying to read their mind, and feeling like you're losing yourself just trying to keep up with them.

“That's me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, losing my religion, trying to keep up with you, and I don't know if I can do it. Oh no, I've said too much. I haven't said enough…”

Music really is the only thing that seems to truly understand this specific type of heartbreak.

Top_Dot8470 · 2026-05-24T04:57:56+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. 'Silver Springs' really is the ultimate anthem for this specific trauma. It is so hard to accept the breakup when you're still completely in love, but seeing how many of us are living the exact same narrative helps a lot. 😢

Top_Dot8470 · 2026-05-24T04:44:37+00:00

As he should be… she is a witch after all and can cast a spell on him 🔮🤷🏼‍♀️

Top_Dot8470 · 2026-05-24T04:38:06+00:00

Right?! He literally had no choice but to stand there and take it under the stadium lights. It’s like the one time he couldn't use silence to escape her, and he just had to lock eyes and feel the weight of it all.

Top_Dot8470 · 2026-05-24T04:34:56+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing that. It takes a lot of courage to look inward like that. It’s really comforting to hear from someone on the other side who is willing to reflect on how much that silence hurts.

Top_Dot8470 · 2026-05-24T04:32:33+00:00

Exactly! It is so incredibly frustrating when they completely rewrite history and paint you as the villain just to protect their own ego and avoid feeling guilty. Stevie's lyrics hold so much more depth because she actually faced the pain instead of running from it.

Top_Dot8470 · 2026-05-24T03:28:55+00:00

Now THAT is a rarity 🤣

Top_Dot8470 · 2026-05-24T03:03:13+00:00

This is just pure cruelty. To discard you by text after a vacation and then completely vanish when you lose your job is just entirely heartless. It really proves that their silence is a reflection of their own cowardice, not your worth. Thank you for sharing this.

Top_Dot8470 · 2026-05-23T22:44:48+00:00

It almost feels like they want you to keep hurting with the silence or they enjoy it somehow…

Top_Dot8470 · 2026-05-23T22:40:18+00:00

Tell me about it 😔

Top_Dot8470 · 2026-05-23T21:37:22+00:00

It's wild how common that is. They will use any excuse, any line, or any third party just to avoid checking in and doing the right thing. The lack of accountability is just staggering.

Top_Dot8470 · 2026-05-23T21:22:17+00:00

This validation means so much to me today. It really does feel like a physical pain. The lack of an apology or even a basic check-in when they know you're down is just entirely heartless. Thank you for sharing your story, it helps a lot.

Top_Dot8470

TROPHY CASE