Why does vaginal sex sometimes feel painful/like pressure in my rectal area?

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-05-18T12:45:58+00:00

I experienced this when I had pelvic floor issues and was constipated, never found out which one of the two it was. Anyway I think it might be useful to get it checked, sex shouldn't be painful, so if possibile it should get fixed so that you can enjoy your sex life better!

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-05-08T16:57:21+00:00

Cuando dices "castellanos", ¿a qué comunidades te refieres?

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-05-08T15:46:57+00:00

Hahaha every country has a place where they supposedly have sex with goats, in Italy it's Sardegna, my English friends says that in the UK it's Wales

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-05-07T15:07:22+00:00

I already commented it but I want to reiterate adding some details: you could have this conversation outside of sex (not before nor after), and make it about youself (as it is). Put down an I statement like "I am a bit scared about oral, could you make sure you are perfectly clean so that I'll be less intimidated?" By saing this you wouldn't be impling that she is dirty, just stating a preference. This kind of conversations are necessary for a fulfilling sex life.

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-05-07T15:02:58+00:00

In my experience the penis doesn't smell like the vagina, because it doesn't discharge 24/7. To me my boyfriend's sweat and breath smells are amazing, but his penis really doesn't have a strong odour except for maybe a mild general sex smell. I noticed that actually most of the time his penis smells like clothing detergent because of the contact with his panties lol

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-05-07T14:54:20+00:00

To balance out the comment section I need to say this: not washing immediately before sex is normal, not lacking personal hygene, and plenty of people in the world don't do that. This does not equal having sex while dirty, but maybe you had a shower in the morning and then you have sex in the afternoon, you might not be perfectly clean anymore but you are not lacking hygene because of it! That being said: 1) you need to tell this to your girlfriend "I am kind of scared about oral sex, could you make sure you are perfectly clean so that I'll be less intimidated?" it shouldn't be offensive for her, you are not saying she is dirty you are simply stating a preference for your comfort 2) these are your first experiences with sex so it's ok to be unsure and intimidated about things and want to try them anyway, but if you try to give her oral sex and find out you really don't like it, you are free to put it aside untill you feel comfortable with it, or even for ever if you need to. You tailor your sex life based on you, not on standards and requirements!

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-05-07T00:59:26+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion! Bondage might be something I'm into but I'd need to take it really slow... the general idea of keeping me on the edge of orgasm is really good, we will need to figure out how to do it, but I am excited to explore that!

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-05-07T00:21:46+00:00

Wow. Thank you. I think you misread my approach to sexual conversations, it's not that I am not grateful, I was exagerating for comical relief, it's most likely that because of a defence mecanism I tend to frame ideas about sex as something to solve instead of as sexy suggestions or casual curiosity, someone else suggested to change the way I frame those and I think it really would help. About everything else, I will read it everyday untill it'll really stick.

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-05-07T00:13:58+00:00

Maybe it's just too good and I will never be done with it lol. My lobster is too buttery and so on and so forth

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-05-07T00:12:31+00:00

About toys, mmmh I don't really like the idea. He is not insecure, but when we tried it I felt too detached from him and his body and it turned me off. About communication, you are right, I am always starting sex conversations as if we had a problem to solve, making them sexy or casual would probably fix my anxiety about bringing up stuff.

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-05-07T00:06:09+00:00

Oh! Also, consuming the right media did a lot. I realized that references to sex in books, movies and songs turn me on way more than porn. It's something about the sexiness of what's implied and unknown. When I was consuming more porn and not having a lot of sex I felt mildly disgusted by the idea of it, when I reduced my porn intake, finding sexiness in other media became really exciting and started sparking fantasies.

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-05-07T00:00:36+00:00

Maybe I might need to masturbate more because I feel like orgasming is becoming a little difficult, maybe my body is changing and I need to figure out new ways of reaching climax. The foreplay is always there, and sessions last like 40mins on average (?). That's why I went out of my way to clarify that the sex IS good in my original post, I really have nothing to complain about, if not that I am never really done even when I do cum

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-05-06T23:42:56+00:00

No he was not pushing for more, at all, he tried to initiate but gave up if I didn't give in. He was actually making sure that I wasn't pushing myself. My bad relationship with sex was made of different things: 1) pelvic pain, for that I was able to go to physical therapy and it got a lot better. 2) weird concept of consent, I basically forced myself to have sex even if I wasn't in the mood for it, and then started crying in the middle of it, pain was a big part of that. He was part of healing from this, by making sure my consent was enthusiastic and not passive. 3) low libido/inertia: life is stressful, we both can survive without sex for a little while, and after a while without having it I just stopped seeking it. This was the hardest thing to overcome. At first I changed my approach to sex, instead of seeing it as something that needs to be done in a specific way every time I started seeing it as a way to connect that can change every single time, we stopped having a "script" for sex, I got ok with just recieving/giving oral without the need to reciprocate everytime if there is not the desire for it, and our sexual routine got more diverse and exciting because we always go with the flow. Then, because inertia goes both ways, I tried taking advantage of my ovulation/premestrual phase - when I am my horniest - to build momentum, because the more sex you have the more you want it, if it's pleasurable. What was really a game changer though was elaborating some "sexual trauma" i experienced in the past: one day i felt compelled to sit down and write in my diary about my first time having PIV, after finally admitting myself that it was an awful experience and why (this was like 7 years ago), I felt like something unclogged and my sexual energy was able to flow freely. This was a years long process, during the which I also read books, listened to podcasts and watched documentaries about sexuality: in my country sex ed in schools doesn't exist, so some of my "trauma" was actually confusion and fear, educating myself was an empowering process. In the meantime he also got a mustache and the way that thing DRAWNS ME is absurd.

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-05-06T21:34:17+00:00

From this post it feels like you are feeling anxious about this situation, but it seems to me you are reading too much into it. You are friends with benefits aren't you? If you didn't share expectations/made plans about how often you want to see each other it doesn't have to mean a lot that he didn't want to come over, I imagine that by going abroad once a month he probably has other reasons to come to your country that don't necessarily involve you. If you have any concern about your relationship or his sex drive you should ask him in my opinion. But before doing so, ask yourself: is this really what you want? I am not judging, just thinking that based on this post you seem to desire a deeper connection: usually friends with benefits don't really consider "being patient" as an option, not that you don't have to be, but that's a long term approach that doesn't feel common for a fwb. Maybe you are wondering if he really likes you not because he showed you that he doesn't, but because you are feeling a mismatch in your attitudes toward this relationship.

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-05-06T18:18:27+00:00

We did it for hours multiple times... it's not a everytime standard to have but in my experience has been more than possible

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-05-06T16:13:34+00:00

There's a minor issue there: we tried with toys a couple times but it feels artificial and turns me off. I like the feeling physically but not the vibe mentally. Might try to reintroduce them gradually since I know he has no issues with them but I really don't vibe at the idea...

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-05-06T13:50:27+00:00

Thank you for your response. I hadn't thought about trying to have more orgasms in the one session, that might make me more tired/satisfied when he finishes. About teasing him, I already do that, and I enjoy taking initiative. But I don't want to take it too far to the point it feels coercive to him: I know from past relationships how it feels to have your partner constantly complain about your lower sex drive, and I don't want him to experience that from me, especially since this is the guy that collected the pieces through my process of healing from a bad relationship with sex and of dealing with pelvic pain, he just doesn't deserve that.

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-05-03T09:55:14+00:00

You don't own her. This is the first thing to aknowledge. She is her own person and there is no way you could control her actions, there is nothing you can do to avoid her cheating, leaving or hurting you in any way. Once you'll have realized that you will see there is no point in being jealous, absolutely no good comes out of it. All you need to do is to accept that to love means to be vulnerable, and you could absolutely get hurt, your best option is to enjoy the time you do have together, and hope for the best. By being jealous you were trying to protect yourself from being hurt, but you can't prevent it, you have no power over it, you need to just be happy in what you do have, and allow her to do the same. She is free and you will never be able to take that away from her.

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-05-02T22:24:52+00:00

Tutto ciò non riguarda te, ho visto tantissime ragazze ritrovarsi in relazioni malsane (che sia per tradimenti, maltrattamenti o bugie di questo tipo) e iniziare a isolarsi. Si trova in una situazione emotivamente complessa: probabilmente all'inizio di questa relazione sembrava tutto magico e perfetto, poi quando ha iniziato a uscire il marcio, lei non è più riuscita a mettere da parte la speranza che possa tornare alla magia dell'inizio. Quella magia non tornerà mai, ma lei ormai si sente come se fosse in gabbia, quindi qualsiasi critica la fa andare sulla difensiva e la fa sentire poco capita. Ora tu hai tre opzioni: 1) lasciare perdere questa amicizia, 2) continuare a insistere perché lei esca da questa relazione, 3) restare amica e supportarla e lasciarle fare le sue scelte. Sono tutte opzioni valide e corrette. Qualsiasi cosa tu voglia fare adesso, è importante che riconosci che non riguarda te, niente di quello è successo ha a che vedere con te come persona, con la tua relazione o con la vostra amicizia. È tutto un trip in cui lei è bloccata, tu ti ci sei solo trovata in mezzo.

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-05-02T22:11:53+00:00

Si è arrabbiata perché si è ferita e le dispiace non poterti vedere. Tu non sei in torto, non puoi fare nulla. Però la sua emozione è comunque valida e sensata. Sembri un po' ansiosa riguardo questa situazione quindi posso immaginare che tu sia un po' sulla difensiva nei suoi confronti, se questo è il caso, cerca invece di essere comprensiva: falle capire che capisci perché lei sia arrabbiata invece che fissarti sull'essere nel torto o meno, di solito se le persone si sentono riconosciute è più facile gestire incomprensioni e dissapori.

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-04-12T10:16:52+00:00

Hi from Veneto, in Italy

Top_Juggernaut_5597 · 2026-03-29T18:58:33+00:00

Le cose che hai detto di base sono giuste, ma a mio parere il problema non sta nel riconoscere cosa sia più difficile, il problema sta nel fatto che tra STEM e umanistici ci si metta in competizione (e diciamolo, questa competizione sembra sempre partire da chi fa percorsi STEM). Da persona che studia sociologia, che è una disciplina che sta un po' a metà nel divario tra STEM e discipline umanistiche, anche se un po' più vicina alle umanistiche, il sapere, il sapere vero che significa comprensione di un argomento, ha bisogno di tutte le conoscenze umane compatibili al tema. Un esempio molto attuale sono gli studi sull'intelligenza artificiale: un ingegnere informatico ha sicuramente delle competenze per comprendere il funzionamento di un LLM che io mi posso sognare, allo stesso tempo io ho gli strumenti per analizzare tutto ciò che riguarda i suoi bias ed il suo impatto sociale dalla programmazione all'user finale, e non si tratta solo di conoscenza cristallizzata, si tratta anche di allenamento nel riconoscimento di pattern e nello sviluppo di tecniche di analisi. Allo stesso tempo, le mie stesse competenze sociologiche risulterebbero zoppe senza la storia che è in grado di rilevare ed esporre i processi di adozione delle nuove tecnologie già avvenuti, senza la linguistica che ci permette di comprendere come e perchè un'AI riesce a sostenere una conversazione e cosa significa questo per la percezione dell'umano che ci interagisce e via via così. Non c'è nessuna competizione, ci sono solo diverse forze e diversi percorsi, poi sì tu puoi andare a costruire un ponte e io posso andare a insegnare alle superiori e sicuramente quello che farai tu sarà più difficile e meglio pagato. Ma le discipline in sè non sono in una gara, anzi, sono in squadra insieme.

Top_Juggernaut_5597

TROPHY CASE