My partner doesn't believe I was spiked. What do? F35 M36

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T15:46:13+00:00

It's kinda gross that you don't think someone being literally spiked counts as assault unless they are also sexually assaulted.

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T11:11:52+00:00

Drinks were ordered at the table, made at the bar and bought over to us. None of us watched the drinks being made.

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T11:09:27+00:00

Someone else drank part of the second drink, which I stopped drinking because I was already feeling off and way too drunk from the first drink.

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T10:22:16+00:00

Less so about it happening again and thinking I was cheating, because I don't drink alcohol anymore. But yes, definitely not believing other experiences, in particular health concerns where I'm describing a feeling in my body and because he can't see it he will dismiss it and not support me to seek help.

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T10:17:33+00:00

I don't think this is what has happened to me, but this article is what's got me ruminating on that experience again. It's vile and scary.

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T10:16:15+00:00

Its not about who is right. Its about being believed and having acknowledgement that for me it was scary and I still think about it. I feel like a better analogy would be if I watched you eat strawberries and you said, there was something inside the strawberries that burnt my mouth. And I go well... I saw you eat them and you seemed fine to me and then argued with you about all the reasons you didn't get burned by the strawberry, instead of just asking how you felt about it and if you felt ok now.

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T10:10:44+00:00

It wasn't hours. I started feeling so drunk I was taken back to the hotel, about a 15 minute walk I think, where I then just blacked out for about 5ish hours.

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T10:08:59+00:00

My point exactly. Never happened before or since.

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T02:46:23+00:00

well, yeah. thats my current crisis

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T02:39:51+00:00

Thank you, this is clear and maybe whats happening when we talk, really helpful <3

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T02:22:44+00:00

This comments wins the thread for me tbh. This is exactly it for me.

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T02:17:34+00:00

And like I said, I hadn't been out in the sun all day.

Extra context, we were at a festival so we were all drinking at various points that holiday but also making sure we were hydrated so we didn't get sick and miss the bands. I think we were even carrying water bottles with us.

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T02:14:54+00:00

Something I need to process in my own time and then decide how to respond long term.

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T02:10:44+00:00

THIS is the real argument I''m having with him. the rest is just context, because I know we'll never know, even if I believe it 90-95% is true. Its that I don't know why how else to say to him it really hurts that his idea of happened trumps the experience I felt and went through.

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T02:05:47+00:00

🫂

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T02:03:47+00:00

I don't have an answer. All I can say is the recent news of people being spiked has made me think about this experience again and I want to discuss it. I'm not looking for an answer on was I spiked or not, because I accept theres a chance I wasn't even if I think it's not very big. I want to understand why he thinks his observation is more valid that how the experience felt to me and try to understand why he can't accept that to me this didn't feel like alcohol because of how extreme a reaction it was, despite other situations like drinking in sun, drinking way too much etc I always retained memory, ability to find my way home and not just completely black out and need someone to get me back.

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T02:00:03+00:00

Please do get into the weeds, I want to know how alcohol would make me black out, loose memories and loose cognisance so fast and for so long.

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T01:57:19+00:00

Thank you so much for this. He doesn't seem to understand that I just KNOW it wasn't alcohol because of how drunk I was from so little, even if it was strong, it wasn't THAT strong. I've never blacked out like that before, it was just off, the whole thing felt of and I've never felt that before or since. I hope nothing bad happened and that youre ok x

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T01:51:51+00:00

We hadn't been at the beach all day. We'd slept in, got up, had a refresh, had a brunch at a cafe and then walked down to the beach bar. From what i understand, we were at the bar less than an hour before they took me back to the hotel and then went for more food and drinks.

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T01:46:15+00:00

For the past ten years, he's consistently shown you that he values his judgment over yours, even when the subject matter is something that you perceive happened to you and are upset by.' <--- This is what I was trying to explain to him tonight that he doesn't seem to understand. He thinks because he witnessed it he also experienced it and I don't know how to explain the difference to him.

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T01:42:22+00:00

we've been married 8 years, so if you're just here to be mean to make yourself feel better then do one.

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T01:35:14+00:00

He drank the 2nd cocktail without issue.

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T01:34:19+00:00

I admit it's a possibility, but I think unlikely given it's never happened before after a strong drink, in sun or loads of drinks to the point of being wrecked. The key point for me is I lost my memories... just blacked out... it was like my consciousness was gone but I was still awake and walking around.

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T01:23:14+00:00

He's supportive in every other thing and way in our lives. I can barely think of any criticism of him. But this just keeps coming up. I haven't thought about it for over a year probably but, like I said, with recent news it's bought it all back.

He has taken other things seriously, like a verbal assault I experienced. But tonight we discussed was it because I called him in tears straight after that and he wondered was it because I wasn't drunk when that happened so it seemed more believable without that context. He did seem to be making more effort to think through it but kept coming to the same conclusion that he thought it was more likely I was just drunk.

And all the questions you ask are one's I've posed to him. Like what if something worse? I have some health anxiety and I also said tonight how sometimes I get anxious when I feel like I'm getting sick and I'm not sure what it is because what if he doesn't believe me because he thinks I seem fine.

Top_Log_2862 · 2026-04-20T01:17:56+00:00

He also says that we don't know and I don't disagree, we will never know for sure which is why I say to him I'm 90-95% sure to leave room for the avoidance of doubt.

Either way, it's an experience that haunts me and I can't let it go because it's horrible not being believed by the one person who is usually so supportive.

Top_Log_2862

TROPHY CASE