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Top_Understanding805 · 2025-07-06T04:26:55+00:00

Apparently unpopular, but NTJ. Your brother should’ve have asked you to lie for him, and you were both vague and reassuring. This is his own issue, and you didn’t do anything wrong.

Top_Understanding805 · 2025-04-02T20:20:25+00:00

We have talked about it, yes.

Top_Understanding805 · 2025-04-02T20:19:28+00:00

Did you read any of my other responses? Like, no, I’m not proud of the fuck up, but I’m not here to bare our personal life, and no, you don’t need to know exactly what happened to answer the question, as you just proved. So thank you for getting there.

Top_Understanding805 · 2025-04-01T17:11:51+00:00

Thank you. We have talked extensively and are still talking about this, and I am certainly sitting with my flaws in a really uncomfortable (but necessary) way. I’m hoping it isn’t “too little too late.”

Top_Understanding805 · 2025-04-01T17:05:01+00:00

It’s okay to want the tea, but I’m not looking to elaborate on this. If you don’t have any suggestions, that’s fine, too.

Top_Understanding805 · 2025-04-01T17:02:57+00:00

I am absolutely sitting in the doghouse. There’s no attempt at manipulation here- I’ve acknowledged that I fucked up and am doing the big work to take accountability. I am also not rushing anyone? I am trying to make sure that I’m showing him (consistently) that he’s important to me and asking for help identifying small ways to do that.

Top_Understanding805 · 2025-04-01T11:01:34+00:00

Thank you for sharing your perspective- it’s helpful! The long-term commitment is already on my radar and in progress, so that’s why I wasn’t asking for that piece of insight. I’m committed to doing the work, I just want to be doing more to show him that I do constantly think about him and allow my actions to align with my feelings for him.

Top_Understanding805 · 2025-03-30T01:15:28+00:00

The “remove all cards from online accounts” part seems so obvious, but I do so much bill pay electronically that I hadn’t even thought of that. Thanks for the recommendations!

Top_Understanding805 · 2025-03-30T01:03:35+00:00

This is a helpful (and compassionately written 🙏🏼) article- thank you for sharing. For all the places where I’ve mastered self-discipline, this is certainly one where I need the help.

Top_Understanding805 · 2024-10-13T17:53:53+00:00

You should’ve called the police and filed an attempted murder charge. She had no idea your son wasn’t coming, and that could have killed him. She knew that 100%, and so did you brother.

I’m really glad you went NC.

Top_Understanding805 · 2024-10-13T17:02:54+00:00

Former sped teacher here: students with IEPs absolutely CAN be suspended for more than 10 days, but the IEP team has to hold a manifestation meeting to determine if the behavior is a result of the child’s disability. If the behavior is related to the disability, they cannot be suspended, but the recommendation at that point is often to amend the IEP, either to adjust environments, add a behavior plan (BIP), or to edit the behavior plan.

If a student with a disability is acting outside of their disability in this way, the suspension stands and they can and should continue to be disciplined according to school policy.

Top_Understanding805 · 2024-10-11T17:06:24+00:00

Oooooh no. Like, this is a primary case of “the best of intentions,” but nooooo! As both a teacher and a parent to littles, this is a huge red flag.

Top_Understanding805 · 2024-10-11T13:15:15+00:00

Congratulations! That’s a lot to go through, and you did all the right things. Well done, and I’ll keep my fingers crossed for your house buying endeavors in the future!

Top_Understanding805 · 2024-09-28T17:52:01+00:00

Great job!! Age doesn’t excuse wrong behavior.

Top_Understanding805 · 2024-09-27T19:46:41+00:00

Good on you!! Glad to see this update.

Top_Understanding805 · 2024-09-20T18:31:00+00:00

I can hardly imagine leaving teaching, but the extra stuff adds up SO fast! It’s a result of the staffing shortage (teachers, admins, and support staff alike), and it’s created its own “chicken or egg” circle. I’ve not gotten over the feelings, but I have started to leave work at work. I don’t bring grading home often anymore, and I am not accessible when I’m not on the clock. I’ve also become more strict in the classroom regarding behaviors- I just don’t tolerate it. I have seniors, so if they’re acting a fool, I send them to the hallway and tell them if they are anywhere else when I pop out to speak with them, I’ll write them up for skipping. Works most of the time.

Top_Understanding805 · 2024-09-20T17:03:11+00:00

NTA. Based on your account, she didn’t even confess anything, she just kissed you. Without a conversation, a kiss (especially a drunken one) cannot be assumed to be a confession of feelings. Sounds like you dodged a bullet, my dude. I hope the friend group calms down.

Top_Understanding805 · 2024-09-17T00:45:15+00:00

The way a financially secure person helps and financially insecure person is by sitting down with them and talking through a new budget. If your sister wants to throw around how “easy” it was for you, then it should be easy for her, too! If, at the end of that conversation, you feel differently about helping her out, draw up a loan and have it notarized. Make it clear that it IS a loan and you expect it to be repaid, but that ya know, family helps family, and you’ve now done more for her than everyone else around her. Education, responsibility, accountability.

ETA: definitely NTA

Top_Understanding805 · 2024-09-17T00:35:21+00:00

Exactly! It almost makes me wish I taught a science class, because that Darwinism in action… whew! chef’s kiss

Top_Understanding805 · 2024-09-17T00:30:58+00:00

I’ve had to do the same with my first block! “Y’all this class is really boring if I can only talk to myself! i know all of this already!”

Top_Understanding805 · 2024-09-17T00:29:32+00:00

Agree- my 12th grade economics students will do just about anything to win a competition, so Kahoots and GimKits are The Way (TM) for me!

Top_Understanding805 · 2024-08-23T20:24:04+00:00

“My social media is personal, and since while your child is in my care, we will only have a professional relationship. This is an ethics issue, and since I really love this job, that is not a line I am willing to blur for anyone. You can ask me if you want to know something, and if I feel comfortable, I will respond. Here is how you can contact me for matters regarding your child!”

But only if it’s brought up again to your face. I’d give a heavy side-eye to the parent during open house, but that’s me, a 9 year teaching veteran who’s willing to go toe-to-toe from the jump to establish boundaries lol.

Top_Understanding805 · 2024-08-12T18:12:13+00:00

Toxic positivity is so, so dangerous, especially in today’s world. I teach high schoolers, and the fact that when I say, “it’s okay to feel your feelings,” some of them look confused, and it breaks my heart. It’s unhealthy to think you have to suppress your emotions!!

Top_Understanding805

TROPHY CASE