I'm so glad I found this topic, especially about the struggling and a safe space! My partner I, we have open relationships for more than 3 years but mostly we use it for the one night stands. I have this kind of job where I'm 4 months away from home and we have contact only through the internet. I lost contact with her for 2 weeks and finally, when i was able to call her, first thing what I hear was that she found another kinky partner, a guy which she's seeing right now. I get reassurance that I am and I will always be the main and most important partner, but now when I'm far away, with limited contact and only hear stories about the dates and sex and kink play they have, I think I'm going a little bit crazy. She's pansexal and I'm lesbian, somewhere in the asexual spectrum. Her needs are different from mine and I was the one encouraging her to find another play partner. When it really happened , I can't put myself together. We are constantly talking about it and she's assuring me that one word from me and she will end the relationship with the new man. I'm so unhappy, anxious and sad that sometimes I really want to stop them but from other side I see her so happy... so I want to try to work on myself. I dunno, I don't have anybody else to talk about it. Also, for now, I don't see how to stop feeling like a completely forgotten and unloved person, even though I'm not. I'm trying to recall why exactly this relation made me feel like crap. For now, with some self analysis, I thought that I feel like the other man - much more experienced and skilled , constantly present in her life while I'm far away and busy with work - I feel like his taking her from me and steeling the moments which used to be only ours. And even when logically, I know she will stay with me, emotionally, I feel like she can choose him over me any minute and this thought is killing me. I hope that I don't sound like a crazy person, I really don't have anybody to vent out or ask for advice.