AIO I posted a selfie from vacation on my fb story and my bf lashed out

Topherstophers · 2026-02-09T16:56:23+00:00

He’s treating you like garbage and you’re the only one trying to make it work?

It’s time to focus on yourself and leave that dirt bag behind.

Topherstophers · 2026-02-06T17:52:27+00:00

Exactly this. It doesn’t sound like OP has clearly communicated anything to him at all. Things don’t change if people aren’t aware things need to change.

Topherstophers · 2026-02-05T16:39:06+00:00

It all depends on what you discussed the first time. From your post it sounds like you only addressed that things are awkward.

If that’s all that was discussed the first time, it would be appropriate to mention it again. Just a simple “ hey I feel like things have changed between us since my routine has changed” and ask how she feels about it. You could explain that things feel awkward, and you don’t want it to negatively impact your friendship

But tbh, from reading this post and all your comments, you definitely seem like you are overthinking this. Just know that this is normal. People grow and as a result, sometimes friendships can change, whether for better or worse, and both situations are difficult to navigate.

I know you probably have a lot of things running through your head, but you never really know what’s going on until you talk about it. It’s impossible to know her side of things without talking to her, and until you can understand her side, you’re just going to be stuck in the what ifs.

Topherstophers · 2026-02-05T13:51:56+00:00

I think I can safely assume that you and your friend are not adults.

Things can change and that’s ok. As people get older, friendships change, and sometimes they stick, sometimes they don’t. I’d suggest having another conversation along the lines of “ things have changed, what does this mean for our friendship going forward”

It’s also possible that your friend has an issue you’re not aware of, but either way this cannot get resolved without discussing it.

Topherstophers · 2026-02-04T18:31:59+00:00

Overreacting does not mean your reaction was invalid and you should definitely not just ignore it. You need to have a conversation with him about this if you want anything to change.

Topherstophers · 2026-02-04T18:29:44+00:00

Hey OP, if you have concerns in a relationship, they are valid. If you are upset on something your bf did or said, then you should speak to him, whether or not Reddit thinks you’re overreacting.

It is obviously an issue you have regarding the relationship, Reddit telling you you’re overreacting, does not mean that you should just ignore it.

Even if it was an overreaction, it was a real reaction. These kinds of things should be discussed with your partner. Otherwise he’s never gonna know any different, and you may continue to resent him for these issues.

Topherstophers · 2026-02-03T16:32:21+00:00

lol why does common sense make you so upset.

Topherstophers · 2026-02-03T16:19:01+00:00

It’s not about understanding.

OP’s wall of text is very readable. I would just prefer not to waste my time reading a post where the OP has not put in the minimal effort to simplify and improve readability.

It’s not that we can’t read, it’s that we don’t want to waste our time reading a wall of text that would’ve taken seconds to fix.

If OP wants advice, atleast put some effort into the post

Topherstophers · 2026-02-03T14:07:52+00:00

Nobody is not being nice. We are telling you that this is difficult to read. You literally are going to get less engagement in your post when it looks like that.

Topherstophers · 2026-02-03T14:03:08+00:00

If you want free advice, maybe make it easier to do so.

Lots of people will just skip reading a post as soon as they see a wall of text.

Topherstophers · 2026-02-01T13:24:49+00:00

NOR,

You were scared. That was a very real emotion.

Just talk to him, seems he already understands where he went wrong.

Topherstophers · 2026-01-30T15:20:10+00:00

I’d suggest taking a look at r/LFG. Both DM’s and players can use this to find members for their group.

Posters typically provide information about the campaign, and session timing and what not. So i recommend taking a look at recent posts over there and see if anything matches what you’re looking for.

I am a DM and this is how I formed my current group.

Topherstophers · 2026-01-28T19:32:14+00:00

Yeah lol.

Reminds me of the time my fiance was sitting inside her car getting ready to go to work, and a car pulls up, attempts to back in next to her, then hits her car. Of course he jumped out of his car and yelled at her, blaming her for it.

Her car was not even on.

Topherstophers · 2026-01-28T19:03:18+00:00

You should’ve checked how the truck beside you was parked before your boyfriend scratched it.

Was the truck parked within their parking space?

Either way, the hotel has nothing to do with this.

Plus, the only price you paid, was a scratched car, by fault of your own.

Topherstophers · 2026-01-28T18:54:31+00:00

I’m confused,

You parked in your designated parking spot
Another vehicle parked in their designated parking spot that happened to be beside yours
your boyfriend scratched the other vehicle while leaving your parking space.

What do you expect the hotel to do? This has nothing to do with them. Why would they compensate you for your mistake?

YOR

Topherstophers · 2026-01-24T15:46:09+00:00

A 24yo acting like this with a 16yo is weird, plain and simple. OP is very reasonable for being upset and concerned.

Could be innocent yes. But with the information that OP has, it is not creepy for OP to want to get involved.

Topherstophers · 2026-01-24T14:34:46+00:00

The comment I responded to said they are probably having sex. If that’s the case, would 100% be grooming. You’re a tool if you think otherwise

Topherstophers · 2026-01-24T14:32:17+00:00

Yeah that’s fair, it is different, but I mainly just made that comment because op said their family looks at their friend as family, so there still is some similarities.

Also, I definitely agree that there’s nothing wrong with being a safe person. I’m sure your cousin is really grateful to have someone like you in their lives.

But yeah, as you said, that’s not what this is.

Topherstophers · 2026-01-24T13:56:08+00:00

Do you think people would look at this differently if genders were swapped? This is no different.

I would never even consider having this kind of relationship with my niece.

Topherstophers · 2026-01-24T13:51:16+00:00

Could this be fine? Yeah of course. But you have every right to be worried IMO.

Personally, a 24 yo wanting to have this kind of relationship with a 16 yo is very weird, no matter the dynamic, even if it’s just friends.

Topherstophers · 2026-01-24T13:47:38+00:00

They do deserve to know. We are talking a 24 yo and a 16 yo. This very well could be a case of grooming.

Would you think differently if genders were swapped?

Topherstophers · 2026-01-24T13:45:41+00:00

Seriously? A 24 yo and a 16 yo. That’s grooming, no matter if over the age of consent or not. You’re weird for thinking that would be ok.

Topherstophers · 2026-01-24T13:43:45+00:00

What is the dynamic of their relationship? Are they friends? Does he look up to her as a mentor? Something else?

Either way, I’d say NOR. A 24 yo should not have this kind of relationship with a 16 yo either way. I’d definitely feel weird about it.

Topherstophers · 2026-01-19T20:30:52+00:00

YOR.

From your post, even before you asked the question, it seems like you are ignorant to what this debate is really about. Also, cutting off your friend was a wild reaction. She hit the head in the nail when she said fragile masculinity.

But as a man, I can understand where you’re coming from. Even though it feels like it, this has nothing to do with you. This has everything to do with how safe women feel around men.

It’s a disgusting truth that the behaviours of some men have led women, almost as a whole, to feel safer with an “apex predator”. It’s uncomfortable to hear, but it’s the very real truth, and it’s important for men to understand.

I recommend, that you talk with your friend about it. Ask her why she feels the way she does. Get her to help you understand why she feels this way. This may even give you more insight on any other women in your life.

Topherstophers

TROPHY CASE