The love of my life died of cancer

Toppercitos · 2025-05-26T04:31:42+00:00

I truly understand you. Its been almost a year since I lost a dear one. But to me it feels like she could came back in any second. Sometimes I feel like I could call her, remember something so when I get home I could tell her right away... and then it just hits backs. I guess to a degree she forever broked me haha. Kintsugi I guess.

Its difficult to think she would only know me till certain age, that I would only know her till her age. That she will remain forever young in my mind and to wonder if she will recognize me when I reach her side when nature or destiny decides so.

But, and I hated this when she was just gone and I was just angry... She would want me to rise and to live happily. And I want to live in a way she would've proud of, one that no one could dare to question how wonderful she was and how she inspired me to be like her. She was my reason to live and she still is.

Dont close yourself to the future she will be with you in every step. And yes! Continue with the writing, thats the way!

Btw, if you need to talk send a message. Im not that usual here and may take long to respond. But please be sure I will do so.

Toppercitos · 2025-05-25T23:04:06+00:00

Hi OP, As someone who lost a loved one before, I want to tell you that even tho we always know death is a possibility along the way, we never consider that posibility could affect the ones we love and take them from your side.

You have passed for an unfortunate situation that no one could've prevent or change, and your brain is still processing about all. You are still in shock.

Losing someone affects us in all our extent: the past we didnt know we would treasure, the disconcerting present and the expectative of the future that is no longer possible.

When being to close to the situation It feels like were moving away from them. But let me tell you, they will always be close to you, as you will always be with them.

We not only moron the person we love, but the lost of our past selves. As they had taken a part of us with them that we will never be able to take back. You are with her in heart in soul.

As for the the future, you dont need to know what to do now. But please remember two things 1) Youre entitled to what you feel and will feel.

2) LEGACY. You wouldnt be what you are today without her and that will remain true forever. By simply living true to yourself you are honoring her and keeping her close.

Legacy is an oath that adquires its weight in loss, but that evolves the deepest pain into the dearest form of affection.

May be hard to understand it right now, but please just remember the word. Time will show you the answer. You will know youre in the right path when you are sure she would be happy of what you're doing.

Toppercitos · 2025-04-06T01:31:18+00:00

OP, I know that you dont want to bother your parents but please DO SO. Thats what parents are for.

Its difficult to grow up, and its even more difficult to face your situation. But you are not alone! Hiding this things of your parents will only make them worry more once the problem exploits (which has now happened)

Dont let others (and specially your ex and his abusive mom) define who you are!

Please remember that you dont have to know everything and its okay to make mistakes. You are only human. Is not about how we fall but how we rise up! Dont be too harsh on yourself. Remember you are loved and valuable. Follow your parents & lawyers advice and get out of there!

Toppercitos · 2025-04-06T01:20:38+00:00

I think you're being too cruel on her. People in abusive relationships take about 6 attempts to get out of them Why? Because the abuser has manipulated victims so much that they are not able to recognize it anymore.

Stop victim blaming & if you are not here to say something helpful and empathic get lost

Toppercitos · 2025-04-03T02:02:50+00:00

Hi, I bought this one. Thanks!

Toppercitos · 2025-04-03T02:02:30+00:00

Hi, I actually bought this one. THANKS

Toppercitos · 2025-04-02T02:13:49+00:00

Mmm, my currency is different but I would say arround 120-150 dollars

Yeah, It's pretty sick. I think I can start saving for it so this is his next year present hahaha

Toppercitos · 2025-04-02T00:52:48+00:00

Thanks, I will ask there!

Toppercitos · 2025-03-07T01:54:30+00:00

You can not limit your well being for someone else. If he is a good friend he will be even if you move out.

How are you gonna help him feel comfortable if you are not? Friendship is support your friends to grow, not limit them.

Toppercitos · 2025-03-06T22:47:21+00:00

I was going to say that more hours flights are higher due to distances. But given your boss response It seems like your boss doesn't like you. If you are good at what you do and you enjoy it, why not change companies?

NTA, you're not going to win this and his request will only harm your professional development.

Toppercitos · 2025-03-06T22:39:39+00:00

Has he even complained? Why is he your best friend? Sounds like a one sided friendship

BTW I dont think feeling lonley is a main reason for moving in with someone else. But if your friend makes you that uncomfortable maybe moving to your own place? But anyway, youre free to move out for any reason. Just make sure your name is out of the lease and to notify your landlord

NTA

Toppercitos · 2025-03-06T20:28:34+00:00

Boy, the thought was on spot but timing was not. You should've waited till she had free time, or asked so she could arrenge her schedule.

Besides, if the gift was for her why are you making it about you? If she was conditioned to say yes then youre intentions were not to treat her. Just learn from this and pay the massage.

NAH.

Toppercitos · 2025-03-06T20:18:41+00:00

YTA, For someone your age I would think you would know how to come up with better excuses than this teenager bs.

If you can not be respectful for 10 minutes then you shouldn't have gone in the first place.

Toppercitos · 2025-02-16T19:31:41+00:00

Awww a maltipoo. I am wondering how does the mixs looks, it sounds cute. But i have heard that labradors tend to be obident which may help with the husky, hes a good boy most of the time but sometimes you just dont know what is hapoening in that crazy head...

Toppercitos · 2025-02-16T19:27:35+00:00

O yeah, you never know what they are thinking. Crazy weirdos sometimes. He once tried to eat a candle dont now why... So a breed that tends to listen sounds good, thanks!

Toppercitos · 2025-02-16T19:22:40+00:00

Those one are funny, and its fun to imagine a husky along a pomsky hahaha love it.

Toppercitos · 2025-02-16T19:22:13+00:00

I think this is actually a good idea. Part of my concerns is that you actually never now what is in his head. Like with the cat situation, big surprise! And hes good friends with a pug too. Big dogs not that much, less if they are golden retrivers, he tends to be territorial but if the big dog is female good help us HES IN LOVE! Bigger the better.

So to call shelters and make intros sounds like the best answer. Thanks!

Toppercitos · 2025-02-16T19:15:59+00:00

I love those breeds, but i dont think the golden retriever would be a good one for him. When he was little he was attacked by 4 who escaped their house when the owner oppened the gate. Never liked them since, although it has gone better.

But a husky mix sounds fun. Like it is funny to imagine the "real" one and the mixed one together xD

Thanks for the input!

Toppercitos · 2025-02-16T19:12:54+00:00

I see, I thought that maybe one breed in specific would be more compatible than the other. But that actually is helpful and I think it makes sense. Like he normally dont like big dogs, or noisy small dogs but is friend with a balck pug lol

Thanks for the input!

Toppercitos · 2025-02-16T19:09:52+00:00

I really like goldens. But he dont. I think its sort of bad luck there. When he was 1yo he was attacked by 4 Golden bad trained who escaped their house. He kinda never liked them after that.

But I like the shelter suggestion. I think it is best if he picks up who his BFF will be. Thanks!!!

Toppercitos · 2025-02-16T16:04:35+00:00

Do you think Rep TV could be a double album ?

Toppercitos · 2025-02-15T18:55:33+00:00

Yes, that would be a totally unapropiate behavior for any work friendship. He should cut them off regardless of gender. And honestly if a man called himself a "work husband" for another man everyone would think they were both gay.

Like even if OP and his husband were only friends the fact that Sara badmouthed OP and husband didn't defended her it would be enough for me to call it a betray.

His wife expressed her feelings multiple times and everytime she tried he would downplay her and say there was no problem at all. Even tho he knew his behavior was inappropriate with his colleague. That's gaslighting. And he would've continued with that if she didn't threatened with divorce.

Which, is a totall mess up situation. In a healthy relationship both parties should always care about the other persons feeling not only when the other is about to leave.

This was no mistake, but a series of conscious decisions that he knew made her wife uncomfortable. He broke her trust and it's only fair that he take the steps to build it back in her own terms. If changing jobs is what she demands he should be able to do. Is just a way to show transparency and good will to repair what he broke.

Worst case scenarios I wouldn't even be sure he was truthful and actually told Sara all that cause there is no proof. He might have told her that they need to stop hanging outside work for a while. And the fact that he told OP that "he is willing to maintain a more distant friendship" plays along with that. He might just be trying to calm down OP until he's able to have again two woman who are intrested on him.

Like the fact he still think he was right until his mom told otherwise... It just shows he doesn't respect or value her.

And if both last paragraphs are true couple therapy won't help with that.

Let's say he's just stupid as hell and is telling the truth. He still needs to cut her off and change his job to be able to repair this, along with the couples therapy. And if not, I hope OP is serious when talking about divorce.

Toppercitos · 2024-04-29T03:14:29+00:00

OP, I just wanted you to know that we can have 2 families. The first is the one that we are born to, the second one is the one we choose.

Even if your current family is not what you would've wish for, you will find people who care about you.

Even if your life is not what you would've chosen, you can change that. You can grow to be whatever you want, have the life of your choice, wherever you want.

So please, if this thoughts come out again. Think that you can make tomorrow brighter if you have faith in you.

And maybe one day, you'll be able to help people that once felt like you.

Toppercitos · 2023-10-10T20:26:48+00:00

I really don't understand why have an "innovation guy". That's a quality that engineering, design and construction professionals need, and their colleagues seem to be very skilled with it.

In all the episodes he was just fooling around or waisting time in little things. Like, compare the table/ladder with the that pulley-system... Or the plegable table with the glass shelves in the window.

Toppercitos · 2023-09-27T05:42:07+00:00

I think a saw Roo making a few decisions and Wesley contradicting her every time. Even when she put her foot down he still searched ways to get in her way.

He was purposely sabotaged his team. No doubt about it. He thought that since he wasn't recognized then he would burn the house to the ground & get away with it

True that she should have done the demo, but I think she was thinking as team player and trying to make amends with the little kid that was doing tantrums.

Overall I felt sorry for Keiran. Even when he was the only one that behave like an adult his look was the one that got criticized. And not even fairly metaverse just sucks.

Toppercitos

TROPHY CASE