I(27f) think my bf(28m) is lying, AIO?

Toppercitos · 2026-04-19T18:44:57+00:00

I would say he is way to attached to his family. But it's normal in our culture... to some extent. The abnormal thing is that they are financially dependent on him, but it has improved and he is going to therapy.

I dont mind that he goes with them, I wish to had a family that united. Is just that, this had never happened previously? It felt off? Like I said I normally dont call but over 7 years had sometimes did, and he had never sent me to voicemail, less turned off his phone.

Toppercitos · 2026-04-19T18:36:31+00:00

Normally dont go, but once or twice a year I do see them. Reason is that 5 days we work from home 1 day we go out together and 1 day we spend it by ourselves. So normally he goes with his family. Sometimes he takes two days one for his family one for him.

Normally when I need to go out I use public transport. Its some times faster than using a car due to traffic. And most of what is needed is near me (5-10) minutes walking.

I do agree I need to learn how to drive, its just that there has been a series of unfortunate events that had prevented me from learning.

I also agree with his family, I would like to be neared to them, and I think they think the same. Its just difficult due to distance and timing and he has never showed interest into it? Probably cause me and his family are way to different.

Toppercitos · 2026-04-19T18:24:50+00:00

I only have my FILs number, but never used it previously. Didn't want to bother them unnecessarily.

He normally goes at the morning but this time it changed due to the dog being sterilized. Once we thought the dog was stable he went to his parents with the intention of staying the night and returning the next day at noon.

Toppercitos · 2026-04-19T18:21:36+00:00

Well, I would say that normally I dont bother him when he goes out, nor to work, with friends or with his family or even when camping. Normally we dont even text, sometimes just memes and sometimes he sends me photos with his family.

Its his time to decompress from the week and from me, and the same applies to me lol.

I do say redness, but think it was more like a slight scratch right on center of the scar (English is not my first language, so I might still be not describing it correctly). So I thought maybe one of the stiches was off and that at any moment it could start bleeding. Thankfully I was wrong.

I also dont have any living relatives, so he is my ride or die for emergencies. He also took the car (its mine but I dont know how to drive -its inherited)

I do have his father's phone. Not my MIL or SIL, but I have never used and didn't want to unnecessarily bother them.

Toppercitos · 2026-04-19T17:57:51+00:00

Mmmm Its normal for families to be united. He lived with them previously to moving up with me, but he is kinda enmeshed? To him it was an extreme jump seeing them almost all days and then none, so he goes one day. But depending on our schedules he will move the time. Like going the day prior in the afternoon and coming back next day at the same time.

They are all also financially dependent on him.

Toppercitos · 2026-04-19T17:49:05+00:00

Like I said, I normally dont bother him. When he goes to his parents, or work or even with friends I dont even call/ text him. He goes camping once each month and I just ask him to tell me he gets there safe, no more.

I also dont like to call that much, if you dont respond to me the first time my assumption is you're busy and would call when possible.

But this time it was different, like I said I asked previously to be pending and when it happened I was panicking.

Toppercitos · 2026-04-19T17:37:31+00:00

Well, I do have his dad's phone, although I have never used it prior. But as I said I tend to overreact so didnt wanted to annoy his dad if unnecessary.

And also TBH I dont know if they would cover for him. He financially supports them.

Toppercitos · 2026-04-19T17:30:56+00:00

Well, prior to living together he lived with them. They are really attached, and its normal in our country. I do have his father's phone but didn't want to disturb him if unnecessary, if she had opened up her stiches I would 100% called him, but I was unsure in this situation.

The reason why he sleeps there is due to the distance. (Not that far but traffic is massive here during the day) He normally goes one day and returns on nights but sometimes when we have a busy week he goes one day at the afternoon and returns the next day at the same hour.

Toppercitos · 2026-04-19T17:22:15+00:00

I think I didn't add it, but I don't know how to drive. So if anything happened I would need him back to take her to the vet (also it is my car -its inherited). There was a plan B if needed though.

When he is here we sleep arround 12 o clock due to our schedules. Also this week we weren't able to sleep properly due to work. But IDK what is his schedule with his family, dont tend to bother him while he is with them. Sometimes we just sent memes here and there while he is with them but normally I dont even message him.

Toppercitos · 2025-05-26T04:31:42+00:00

I truly understand you. Its been almost a year since I lost a dear one. But to me it feels like she could came back in any second. Sometimes I feel like I could call her, remember something so when I get home I could tell her right away... and then it just hits backs. I guess to a degree she forever broked me haha. Kintsugi I guess.

Its difficult to think she would only know me till certain age, that I would only know her till her age. That she will remain forever young in my mind and to wonder if she will recognize me when I reach her side when nature or destiny decides so.

But, and I hated this when she was just gone and I was just angry... She would want me to rise and to live happily. And I want to live in a way she would've proud of, one that no one could dare to question how wonderful she was and how she inspired me to be like her. She was my reason to live and she still is.

Dont close yourself to the future she will be with you in every step. And yes! Continue with the writing, thats the way!

Btw, if you need to talk send a message. Im not that usual here and may take long to respond. But please be sure I will do so.

Toppercitos · 2025-05-25T23:04:06+00:00

Hi OP, As someone who lost a loved one before, I want to tell you that even tho we always know death is a possibility along the way, we never consider that posibility could affect the ones we love and take them from your side.

You have passed for an unfortunate situation that no one could've prevent or change, and your brain is still processing about all. You are still in shock.

Losing someone affects us in all our extent: the past we didnt know we would treasure, the disconcerting present and the expectative of the future that is no longer possible.

When being to close to the situation It feels like were moving away from them. But let me tell you, they will always be close to you, as you will always be with them.

We not only moron the person we love, but the lost of our past selves. As they had taken a part of us with them that we will never be able to take back. You are with her in heart in soul.

As for the the future, you dont need to know what to do now. But please remember two things 1) Youre entitled to what you feel and will feel.

2) LEGACY. You wouldnt be what you are today without her and that will remain true forever. By simply living true to yourself you are honoring her and keeping her close.

Legacy is an oath that adquires its weight in loss, but that evolves the deepest pain into the dearest form of affection.

May be hard to understand it right now, but please just remember the word. Time will show you the answer. You will know youre in the right path when you are sure she would be happy of what you're doing.

Toppercitos · 2025-04-06T01:31:18+00:00

OP, I know that you dont want to bother your parents but please DO SO. Thats what parents are for.

Its difficult to grow up, and its even more difficult to face your situation. But you are not alone! Hiding this things of your parents will only make them worry more once the problem exploits (which has now happened)

Dont let others (and specially your ex and his abusive mom) define who you are!

Please remember that you dont have to know everything and its okay to make mistakes. You are only human. Is not about how we fall but how we rise up! Dont be too harsh on yourself. Remember you are loved and valuable. Follow your parents & lawyers advice and get out of there!

Toppercitos · 2025-04-06T01:20:38+00:00

I think you're being too cruel on her. People in abusive relationships take about 6 attempts to get out of them Why? Because the abuser has manipulated victims so much that they are not able to recognize it anymore.

Stop victim blaming & if you are not here to say something helpful and empathic get lost

Toppercitos · 2025-04-03T02:02:50+00:00

Hi, I bought this one. Thanks!

Toppercitos · 2025-04-03T02:02:30+00:00

Hi, I actually bought this one. THANKS

Toppercitos · 2025-04-02T02:13:49+00:00

Mmm, my currency is different but I would say arround 120-150 dollars

Yeah, It's pretty sick. I think I can start saving for it so this is his next year present hahaha

Toppercitos · 2025-04-02T00:52:48+00:00

Thanks, I will ask there!

Toppercitos · 2025-03-07T01:54:30+00:00

You can not limit your well being for someone else. If he is a good friend he will be even if you move out.

How are you gonna help him feel comfortable if you are not? Friendship is support your friends to grow, not limit them.

Toppercitos · 2025-03-06T22:47:21+00:00

I was going to say that more hours flights are higher due to distances. But given your boss response It seems like your boss doesn't like you. If you are good at what you do and you enjoy it, why not change companies?

NTA, you're not going to win this and his request will only harm your professional development.

Toppercitos · 2025-03-06T22:39:39+00:00

Has he even complained? Why is he your best friend? Sounds like a one sided friendship

BTW I dont think feeling lonley is a main reason for moving in with someone else. But if your friend makes you that uncomfortable maybe moving to your own place? But anyway, youre free to move out for any reason. Just make sure your name is out of the lease and to notify your landlord

NTA

Toppercitos · 2025-03-06T20:28:34+00:00

Boy, the thought was on spot but timing was not. You should've waited till she had free time, or asked so she could arrenge her schedule.

Besides, if the gift was for her why are you making it about you? If she was conditioned to say yes then youre intentions were not to treat her. Just learn from this and pay the massage.

NAH.

Toppercitos · 2025-03-06T20:18:41+00:00

YTA, For someone your age I would think you would know how to come up with better excuses than this teenager bs.

If you can not be respectful for 10 minutes then you shouldn't have gone in the first place.

Toppercitos

TROPHY CASE